Struggling with school, mental health, and fear of losing my scholarship.

falling behind in school

it's second semester of my second year of college and i'm already skipping classes like crazy. it's so bad because a lot of my teachers this year do not take attendance, which just makes me not want to go at all. but i feel even if they did i wouldn't go this semester because i've just been so a mess. i also haven't been doing any of my coursework so right now i'm just nervous. my parents said i better do good this semester because i have a scholarship as well and will lose it if my GPA is below 3. but i just feel like because of me i have bigger things right now to worry about other than school but my family wouldn't understand how bad it is right now. i tell them but i cannot talk about it with them in a way they will understand. plus i do not discuss the content of my intrusive thoughts that i have with anybody at all because i'm just so terrified of myself and hate myself right now

Username: Watermelon🍉Watermelon🍉

Date posted: 1y ago

I relate to you a lot. It’s also my second year second semester of college and I am also falling behind. My health is worsening making my anxiety and health OCD worse. It’s hard to look for medical help since it’s so expensive and barely anyone accepts my insurance. I just keep getting intrusive thoughts about my health and I just worry and cry constantly. I also have a scholarship in which I worry about losing. I honestly don’t know what to do, I feel hopeless. I just want to let you know that you are not alone, and even if we are suffering through different subtypes, I understand the college struggles. I hope you are able to find the help you need.

Username: trainwrecktrainwreck

Date posted: 1y ago

hello i am sorry that you are currently going through this. i hope that you can find the help that you need as well and i am wishing all the best for you. really hoping that you find someone soon that accepts your insurance as well <3

Username: Watermelon🍉Watermelon🍉

Date posted: 1y ago

@trainwreck Thank you! I also hope you can find the help you need too!!!

Username: Jeffrey Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I am so sorry that you are having a difficult time right now. Ocd can be very overwhelming and debilitating. I would highly encourage you to seek help from the counseling services at your school. I would also add that intrusive thoughts are just that and do not mean anything. With ocd our brains are getting a false message that any intrusive thought is an emergency that needs to be dealt with right away. Here is the thing - everyone has intrusive thoughts - those of us with ocd have a messaging system that is telling there is an emergency where there is none. Those without ocd dismiss these thoughts as strange and move on. We need to do extra steps to learn to manage ocd. I am not sure if you are able to set up erp therapy with NOCD but there are also a lot of YouTube videos that can help you better understand ocd and how the ocd brain works. I hope this helps.

Username: GregJGregJ

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Hi, so sorry you are dealing with this. Does your school offer counseling services? Try to set a scheduled time each day every day that’s devoted to school work no matter what. This time is specifically to focus on school and you’ll worry (try to) about ocd later. Just let the thoughts come in and let them say whatever they want. Thoughts do not equal facts.

Username: crarayolacrarayola

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I can relate to this so much, you’re not alone! Recently I had to drop/ take a gap semester for my second term because my ocd and anxiety were so bad and the medicine I was taking for them made me feel like a zombie. I’m trying to find the help I need right now though. Just know that you’re not alone in your journey. You cannot control your intrusive thoughts and they don’t make you a bad person. Having school while battling ocd is so challenging so please go easy on yourself. I hope you can find the help you need and potentially a therapist. You got this, I believe in you! <3

Username: M1ndoverMatt3r

Date posted: 3y ago

To the ones in college, has OCD put a huge impact on our school work. Honestly I’ve spent more time thinking than actually doing assignments this year... it’s eating me up because now I feel like I’m behind and a disappointment

Username: OvercomingOCD

Date posted: 42w ago

Being a Terrible person

I don’t even know what to think or do anymore. I just think my fears are true and I’m in denial about it. I’ve been struggling with school and motivation for awhile now. My parents and family are amazing and have been paying for my education and I keep messing up. I am super lazy and I miss lectures, and I keep always telling myself I’m going to do better and end up barely passing at the end of the semester. I know we aren’t our thoughts but we are our actions and I feel like I choose to live content with being a burden and selfish. The fact that I choose to listen to the thoughts in my head and do compulsions shows that I really don’t care about being better because if I did I would just do it. I always keep thinking at this point that the morals that I had before OCD 3 years ago are gone. I keep questioning if I am not acting on the thoughts because that is my values and who I am or if I am just not acting on them because of luck. I don’t know if I am not acting on them because of how I feel rather than how acting on them would harm others. I am just so weak, and I don’t know if I deserve to live the rest of my life. And I feel so fucking guilty for saying this but there are times where I think about all of this and it doesn’t motivate me to change at all and I just can’t stand myself for that. I just feel like a sociopath who is constantly whining and complaining and screwing up. I used to feel like I did compulsions because I cared about protecting people and now I just think my compulsions are centered around my own selfishness and anxiety. It’s like there are times where I’m not trying to prevent myself from doing something wrong or trying to make sure that I don’t have bad intentions which is so messed up with the thoughts that I have.

Username: Saddy1209

Date posted: 37w ago

struggling

i don't know if I can continue my college. I have undiagnosed ocd and i haven't talked with a psychiatrist yet. My course is very hard, it requires a lot of attention and i cannot give that. I feel like crying, we had our 1st quiz today and I failed. I failed as a student and as a daughter...

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Struggling with school, mental health, and fear of losing my scholarship.

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