Hi guys. So idk who all has read about the Lindsay Clancy case, but ever since it’s been brought out, my harm ocd has sky rocketed. With thoughts towards my fiancé and even my dog 😞 I don’t have any kids, but the idea of losing control one day and acting on these thoughts is really getting to me. My biggest theme for years was harm, then went to suicidal for 2 years, and now I’m right back to harm and it’s freaking me out 😞
This case has been suuuper triggering for me too. Intrusive thoughts coming in hot! And horrid as usual. I’ve been in recovery for about a year and a half, but these stories trigger the crap out of me. Hang in there!
@CB6236 Same here! Now I’m back to feeling anxious, scared, feeling like my thoughts will happen! It’s freaking be out 😞
@cam1724 Oh me too for sure. And I will literally question my every thought and feeling. Like my husband took our oldest to art class and to pick up dinner last night and I was like omg what if you did that so you could kill your youngest? And the dogs while you’re at it? OCD thoughts are torture. Toooortuuuureeeee.
If it makes you feel better (not to reassure) after reading about how she told her husband she had “a moment of psychosis” I don’t think she was psychotic when it happened at all. I think her mass amounts of medication lead to homicidal and suicidal ideation, and she probably hid it from her doctors. Also please remember, when you have either of these ideations…the thoughts feel good or normal and do not bother you. Because trust me, your OCD will try to convince you that is what you’re experiencing and you are not. Your thoughts are intrusive. ❤️ Love all of you, stay strong!
@CB6236 Thank you for this. I really struggle with my thoughts, thinking I’m going crazy or that sometimes I like the thoughts when I know I don’t, I wouldn’t question them at all if I did. But it gets to be so overwhelming sometimes and I just constantly feel like I’ll lose my mind or something and do it 😞 but I really appreciate this comment. Love you, we all have each other in this!
@CB6236 Yes yes we wouldn’t be so anxious or upset if it wasn’t ocd 🖤
Update for everyone! My ERP today where I read the full Lindsay Clancy article out loud to my therapist. It was funny because at first I was skimming through the news article and telling my therapist a high level overview of the case (because I wanted to avoid the details). She called me out and was like “let’s start from the top and read slowly.” I cried while doing it, it’s a heartbreaking case and there’s a lot of complexities. When we read articles like this, our OCD makes us compare us to those individuals and it makes us feel we’re going to do those things. On my anxiety scale of 0 to 100, while reading I was at a 35 and after reading it, I was at a 45/50. I’m fortunate enough to have a great therapist who understands OCD and we were able to walk how I feel together. An hour after my ERP, I’m not at a 15 for anxiety. I would encourage everyone in this thread, if you have a great therapist who understands OCD and ERP to do this article. I will say, her and I have been working our way up when it comes to exposures with Harm OCD. Only do this if you feel ready to do so!
@justagal_name_mack That’s the thing though idk if mine is harm ocd I don’t have images or all different thoughts mine is just a sentence that pops in my hesd over and over again it’s “kill your daughter” I’ll obsess about it for hours reply it in my head and work myself up!
@Norman12! The reply is the compulsion. I would say that’s harm ocd!
@justagal_name_mack My therapist had me record myself saying “there is always a possibility of me killing myself or my loved ones. Life is so full of uncertainty.” And she’s having me listen to that twice a day. I’ve only had 2 sessions so far but next week we are working up in exposures!
@anne.abby Replays sorry not reply
Omg yes yea I didn’t have ocd in over a year ! I read the case last Friday and since than my harm ocd towards my daughter has been insane !!
@Norman12! It sucks!! Sent me into a spiral 😞
@cam1724 Me too I’ve been good for a year and ever since seeing that case I’ve been horrible , my medication isn’t even working I had to delete my TikTok app until it’s over with 😭🥹
@Norman12! I’m here for you!
@Norman12! Same!!!
I understand how you’re feeling. What triggered my Harm OCD about two years was reading a similar case of Daily Mail. Even thought it’s scary and understand 1000% how it triggers thoughts, we can’t build the fear that OCD thrives off of. One thing that I’m trying to work on is letting the thought be there. I know - easier said than done, but that allows us to stop giving power to the OCD by avoiding it. I would also pay attention to how your body reacts to an OCD thought. For example, I realize how much I tense up when I have an OCD thought and when I relax my body, it’s letting the thought know like “hey I know you’re there, we’re going to chill together till you decide to move on”. I would encourage you too if you’re doing ERP to incorporate this into it. At first when I read your post, I was curious and looked up the case. I realized what the context was about and immediately closed out. I came to the conclusion that I’m avoiding what’s causing me to be fearful. It’s sad and terrifying to read stories like that, but you can’t avoid it. An ERP that I’m going to do this week is read the article in full with my therapist and discuss with her how I felt reading it and afterwards! I’m going to be uncomfortable, but you got to take it one step at a time. Sorry for this being long and I hope this helps! You’re going to be ok🤍
@justagal_name_mack Thank you so much for this!! It’s been so hard and I am struggling while making dinner and my fiancé is on the couch. He just gave me some money to “spoil” myself with, and now I feel even more guilty for having these thoughts! I had my first session with my therapist last week and have another with her tomorrow! I am so tense right now, saying “stop” under my breath and trying so hard to think of something else. I was doing fine for a week and then coming across this story has made it so hard. I’m so terrified my brain will just switch and do it and not even second guess 😞 I know I need to let the thoughts be there, it’s just so hard in the moment. I really appreciate you taking the time out of your day to talk to me 💕
It is insane how many people are experiencing exactly what I’m experiencing. I have 2 kids and my second baby is what triggered ppocd. My biggest fear was developing psychosis and caused intrusive thoughts about harming her. But I have been good with those thoughts for over a year. Now they are back stronger than ever. It’s validating to know I’m not alone but what is a good erp exercise for this??
@anne.abby I’m not sure yet. I have only my second appt with nocd tonight and haven’t started erp yet! I don’t have kids but this story really triggered my harm ocd towards my fiancé 😞 and my suicidal!
@anne.abby I don’t think we can go into physcosis I’ve asked my doctor a million times she always says no. . Mine has always been one intrusive sentence towards my daughter and that’s it has not been anything else
@cam1724 You guys have to remember she was on 12 different medications she didn’t think before she did it she wasn’t scared like us , our thoughts give us such bad anxiety .
There is a lot to unpack with this case. But I would imagine her insane cocktail of medication played a role. I’ll be here fighting the urge to ask my husband if he thinks I would ever do something like that 3784 times. Be strong, y’all are NEVER alone in this shit.
@CB6236 You won’t !
For myself, this week has been filled with ups and downs too. Doesn’t help that I got my period, so I feel like that flares up my instructive thoughts. Since my therapy session on Thursday, my therapist for at home ERP had me read the Andrea Yates case (Wikipedia page). In my own time, she wants to reread the Lindsay Clancy and Andrea Yates case two more times (slowly through the whole article). I just did that this morning and my anxiety was lower this time versus the first time. The hard part of it as while you’re reading it, you naturally compare yourself to these people and you have the intrusive thoughts pop in. For myself, I’m just letting them be there and focusing on what’s in front of me/what my day is. One of the things I’m working up to in ERP is being able to listen to a crime junkie podcast episode again. Before my intrusive thoughts started about two years ago, I use to be a huge crime junkie/true crime person. What’s also helped me with Harm OCD thoughts too is reading thriller books that have fictional plots around crimes, etc.
@justagal_name_mack I’m happy you’re working on all of it 💕 thank you so much for being here. I’ve been so scared and I feel like a monster. The urges are the worst for me and feeling like it’ll definitely happen
My thought did come back because of the case 😭
@Norman12! I’m so sorry 😞 we’re in this together!
@cam1724 And it’s still sticking even upping my dosage 😭🥺 I hate it I hate jr so much
@Norman12! I’ve upped my medication too and have tried multiple ones, mine still stick too 😞
@cam1724 But it wasn’t at all until I seen that case I was doing so good for a year 😭
@Norman12! Me too, sweet momma. 😪
My thoughts towards myself and fiancé have been insane since. I feel like I’m going crazy. This shit sucks!
I could have wrote most of these posts myself. I had severe ppocd after my daughter and this particular case checks off every box on my list of themes and obsessions. I don’t know if reading about the case makes the ocd worse or better? But I have been having horrible intrusive thoughts & images and my anxiety is through the roof today.
@mvp I was so good for a year before this case and then when I heard about it bam that sentence came back
Hi everyone! Circling back to this post… wondering how everyone is doing? It’s been a week of ups and downs for me. Anyone have success they can share?
@mvp I wish I could share some success. It’s been horrible for me feeling like I’m gonna actually do it or something. Feel like I’m losing my mind
@cam1724 I’m sorry to hear that it’s been a rough week for you. Those “urges” are the worst especially when you’re trying to fight back through them. I know you mentioned that this upcoming week you’re working up to exposures, so I hope that the start of your ERP helps with how you’re feeling.
Anyone else feel like their worst ocd theme is harm? I have several themes but I’d rather experience any of mine than my harm ocd. When I get anxious over my harm ocd, I’m miserable but when I don’t get anxious, my ocd latches on to “oh so you like this? Could you do this? Do you want to?” Ugh. I just hope someone understands or can respond bc I’m in a bad flare and just want to know I’m not alone 😔. Mine was personally triggered by the Idaho murder thing that I keep seeing on Tik tok. I made myself watch dateline about it for ERP so I’m sitting with all the anxiety right now and I can’t stop ruminating. He had OCD (the criminal who did it) so of course that has me legit spiraling. 😣😣😣😣
This case has convinced me because of my ocd, I am unworthy of motherhood. I have harm ocd so how bad would my PP ocd be? It’s honestly my biggest fear to ever hurt someone it makes me sick to think about. I have been a wreck all night and just want to cry. My fiancé wants a child. So do I. But how do I tell him I don’t think I can do it now. My advice is not to get on Tik tok if this story triggers you bc it’s flooded with videos. I feel hopeless about this and it’s even triggered my harm ocd in general about anyone and anything right now. Ugh!!! Hugs to anyone else who is struggling. & to moms with OCD, I want you to know that you are warriors and my BIGGEST hope and inspiration. Maybe OCD will take motherhood from me, but maybe it won’t. I don’t know. I’m a mess and I feel like no one understands 🥹
Anyone else with harm OCD extremely triggered by the Lindsay Clancy case? I’m struggling realllllly badly right now.
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