- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I do too. And it feels awful, but if you go into looking for reassurance and ruminate around the compulsion, when you finally solve it or "forgive yourself", your brain will send you more situations you didn't even remember. Believe me - My bran started with one a year ago and I did so many compulsion s around it that it eventually accumulated to five real life events. It can be super overwhelming.
- Date posted
- 6y
It is not about forgiving yourself - it is about accepting your humanity . Read about moral scrupulosity by Dr. Philipson - it's been very enlightening. He says that those of us with these type of obsessions have extremely high moral standards (super-human) and a very black and white thinking. Believe me, whatever you did is in the past and does not change who you are. You could have committed the most atrocious acts and I still wouldn't judge you.
- Date posted
- 6y
I feel for you, my friend. And I completely understand. You could have killed somebody and I wouldn't judge you still. I am not saying you should be proud but you are a human and making mistakes is part of the human experience. People kill children in war and they come back home praised as heroes - good and bad, right and wrong ... The important thing is that you ARE a different person now.
- Date posted
- 6y
Hi my dear friend. I believe I remember you saying in a post a while ago that you were a Christian. Is that true?
- Date posted
- 6y
Catlady I do believe in God yes, and I have a hope that he will forgive me. My anxiety lies in the fact that I will never be able to tell people close to me what I did for a lot of reasons including but not limited to, if they forgive me I still wouldn’t want them to know and think of me differently which they would. And not being able to tell them makes me feel like a liar, like I’m not my real self. Especially in terms of my relationship. Like he would leave me. I wish this wasn’t true but it is, if my boyfriend told me he did what I did I would leave him.
- Date posted
- 6y
I've had this, but it was not my worst OCD. Honestly--my contamination OCD has been my worst. And if you feel you owe your boyfriend a confession for something that awful...is it possible you really do need to tell him what's up?
- Date posted
- 6y
FernandoV I did something pretty bad though. I didn’t kill anyone/anything. But if that’s a level 10 of “bad” (I think even this can be forgiven but I’m just using this as a lame example) And lets say making fun of someone and teasing the crap out of them to the point where they leave school or get depressed is a “6” on the scale then what I did is easily an 8 in terms of the “measurement” I just came up with.
- Date posted
- 6y
Um no
- Date posted
- 6y
Fernando you’re a kind soul
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
17f I have a lot of events, but my main and my worst one which is absolutely fucking diabolical was done when I was 14 and repeated when I was 16. Everytime I post something about real event ocd here people are like you are probably didn't do anything that bad, and when they hear what I did they are like yeah that's bad. Someone even asked me if I'm autistic cause "it's crazy how you didn't realize that the thing ypu were doing was wrong at this age." And I kinda agree, like it's fucked up It's just that my event is bad. Doesn't mean I don't have real event ocd. You can have a reocd over the event that was bad, it doesn't mean the event wasn't that bad or you don't have recod. It's just people always expect it to be something innocent and it's not Even a healthy person would feel guilty over it, it's just that I had ocd my whole life and it's making the guilt absolutely destructive, like to the point when I sometimes have a hard time breathing when I think about it, I lost more than a year of life to it, almost checked myself out couple of times if I wasn't so scared of pain/failure, the event haunts me in my dreams, it's in my head 24/7 and I will never able to forgive myself. That ocd. But the event itself was bad. So maybe i deserve it.
- Date posted
- 12w
just wanted to see if others struggle with real event ocd really kicking their a**. i feel like my mind is a constant battleground of every mistake ive made and they feel so huge and life altering to me that it’s hard to continue going on in their wake. just wondering if anyone else feels this way too.
- Date posted
- 9w
Hey everyone — I just want to say upfront that as someone who actively deals with real events OCD, most of the posts I share here are going to come straight from my personal experience. Just real & lived reality. Because I know how lonely this type of OCD can feel, and if there’s even one person out there who reads my words and feels less alone — then it’s worth sharing every piece of it. Now… let’s talk about the kind of OCD that doesn’t get enough attention. The kind that doesn’t just whisper scary things — it reminds you of real ones. Real Events OCD. This isn’t about bizarre or outta nowhere intrusive thoughts. This is the kind that takes real things you’ve done — whether it was a genuine mistake, a cringey moment, a bad decision, or even something you already made peace with — and it replays them on a loop like a horror film in your head. It’s the constant questioning: “Am I actually a good person?” “Was that actually wrong and I just didn’t realize it?” “What if I’ve hurt someone and don’t deserve to be okay?” And it’s exhausting. I’ve had moments where I can’t focus, can’t sleep, can’t breathe because my brain pulls up something from years ago and convinces me I’m evil, dangerous, unforgivable. I can be having a good day, laughing with people I love, and boom — my mind hits me with “Remember this? You should feel horrible about it forever.” Even if I’ve apologized. Even if I’ve changed. Even if I’ve done the work. Real Events OCD doesn’t care. It thrives off your guilt. It uses your conscience against you. And when you’re young — still figuring out who you are, still healing — it makes you question whether you even deserve to move forward. That’s what’s so cruel about it. It doesn’t just make you anxious. It makes you feel like you’re a danger to the people you love. That you’re secretly the villain in your own story. But let me tell you something I’ve been learning — slowly, painfully, but honestly.. You are not your past. You are not your worst mistake. And you are not the voice in your head trying to punish you forever. You’re a person with a heart. A person who cares. And that’s exactly why OCD picked this flavor to mess with you. ERP is SOO helping. So is community. But the biggest help? Giving myself permission to stop chasing reassurance and start living again. I do not have to confess, over and over, for the rest of my life. I do not have to torture myself to prove I’m good. I can grow — and growing is enough. So if you’re reading this and you know exactly what I’m talking about… I see you. I am you. Let’s keep showing up. Let’s keep living. Let’s keep healing — even when OCD tells us we don’t deserve to. You do. I do. We all do.
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