Hey guys, I have an essay due for uni tomorrow that I haven’t started. I just keep obsessing over real events and I can’t get anything done. My ocd is so bad right now. I feel so anxious and I don’t know what to do. Does anyone have any tips?
Hi Stevie, Here are some of the tips/tricks I find useful. 1. Take a few deep, slow breaths. Taking time to ground/center yourself will give you more time going forward, as well as help you to clear your head a bit. (And if it’s sad overwhelmed, perhaps consider letting yourself cry for a bit. I just saw a science video about a how crying brings in cold air and helps cool out brains down and that slight decrease in brain temperature seems to help the chemicals in our brain. 2. If you’ve been in the same position/room for a while, maybe consider going outside, even if just for a short time (like 3-5 minutes). Maybe consider laying flat on the ground if possible. Again, might not work for you, but sometimes simply changing my position and stimulus for a little bit helps me feel a bit less stuck as well. 3. Another example that helps me when I get stuck in my head is to focus on getting different stimulus input. For me, it’s sometimes really helpful to grab an ice cube or something else that’s really cold/texturized and focus on being present and connecting with my body and how it LITERALLY feels in my body can help me feel a sense of calm. Bc it helps get me out of a negative focus spiral. 4. I’d also suggest to acknowledge your feelings/obsessive thoughts (as opposed to trying to push them away or judging yourself for experiencing the struggles you are). Maybe say something to yourself like “okay, I hear you, stressed out Sammy (or whatever you call your OCD bully). For now though, I’m going to choose to focus on other things instead of what you want me to obsess about. I see/recognize you, but I’m still going to focus my attention elsewhere (writing a rough draft, searching for sources, formatting the margins/font, etc for the document… basically just whatever sub-tasks you’re able/willing to start (baby steps are still steps and they count!) The “okay ____ emotion/thought, I see you and am not resisting you, merely focusing my attention elsewhere” exercise is sometimes something even I’ll need to circle back to multiple times, but I’d just recommend to actively choose the thought to give yourself lots of grace and know you’re taking steps towards the best you can do today/tonight. It’s okay if it seems a bit “forced/unnatural” right now. You’re trying a (maybe) new skill and that’s a-okay. 🙃 5. Another thing my therapist recently suggested was to distinguish that I am not my feelings. For example, instead of saying “I’m so overwhelmed” I can say “I am experiencing/feeling the EMOTION of overwhelmed.” Somewhat small change but it’s helping me bc emotions/feelings can change… and separating my essence/being/who I AM from what I’m temporarily feeling helps me get a little bit of space from the judging that normally comes when I know I’m feeling stuck bc of OCD and just can’t seem to “snap out of it.” 6. Oh! Another thing that helps me is the mantra: done is better than perfect! I used to be a teacher and would explain it to my students as “even if you get SOMETHING turned (even if it’s not to your idealized standard/grade of perfection), NO MATTER WHAT!!! That partial grace will be absolutely better for your average than a zero would.” Done is better than perfect. Done is better than perfect. Done is better than perfect. That’s even helping me right now to not be slave to the obsessive thoughts that my response won’t be good enough and I might fail you. (You don’t need to comfort me with that. :D I really just want to show you that you’re not alone in this struggle and that it’s really okay to try. I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but your worth does not fluctuate with your grades/performance. (I’m sure your brain will find 1,000 ways to justify its extremely harsh judgment/rejection of this idea, but if you find you’d like to believe it, maybe saying it to yourself like you would to a dear companion might be comforting.) Also, remember if you listen to the OCD bully you give it more 🪝 hooks to keep you stuck. If you want to, you can instead acknowledge it, and then calmly and politely choose to move on. For example, similar to how you might respond if someone tells you “vanilla ice cream is wayyy better than chocolate” and you disagree, you can “acknowledge” their perspective without having to adopt it yourself or even engage in an argument with them. Arguing with OCD/worry is like trying to reason with a drunk person. It takes a bunch of energy and doesn’t get you much of anywhere and realistically, the most effective thing to do is to “drop the rope” from the tug of war and give yourself permission to not engage. It might even sound like “yep, I don’t know the future/outcome of the real events that have had my attention, BUT I CAN STILL choose to work on my essay. I (my non-OCD part) gets to say what I do or don’t do, not the drunk bully that’s OCD.” I hope that makes sense. For me that might sound like: “okay OCD, I know you want me to think I’m not good enough/worth much if I can’t do this particular thing (or set of things… or literally ALL of the things perfectly), butttttt… for now I’m going to embrace my imperfections, choose to speak to myself kindly, and remember that progress towards my intended goal/objective is what I want to do instead of worrying about the past or future. I don’t have to know how this past/future situation will work out, but I’ve made it through every stressful/tough challenge up to this point. I will be okay.” Idk, something like that 🤷🏼♀️😅. Oh, last thing! I use mediation apps (like Balance) and they have single sessions (3 or 5 min) for emergency help, and lots of other meditations to help in different ways (for example, when commuting or when trying to improve concentration, etc.). If you don’t want to get an app, there’s also probably a ton of short meditations on YouTube that you might like. I used to use “Mindful Minute- Raindrops…” video on YouTube and it was a huuuuuge help for a lot of my students when they’d transition from another class to mine. Here’s the direct link: https://youtu.be/6z9Vmp9Jqm0 Best wishes Stevie! 🌟
@RebeccaG Hi Rebecca, thank you so much for your wonderful advice. You have helped me a lot, I’m going to try some of these techniques. Thank you for this post, I really mean it :)
@Stevie12 You’re so welcome! 😁 I’m glad to hear that! You’ve got this! 🙌🏻
I have felt this same exact thing. Go do something that is not connected to it but still gets you away from your thoughts. Also, just tell yourself. Maybe these thoughts are ocd, maybe they are me, but I am going to let myself just be. Then I would say, I always find it better once I do start my work. Thinking about it, I feel out of control and scared, but once I start, they go away.
@j.d Oh, that last one is a new one for me! Great point. Use data to remind myself I’ve gotten past this type of hurdle in the past and that starting is often the hardest part! Thanks j.d
@j.d Thanks so much JD this really helped, great tips! I’ll definitely try them :)
i am a freshman in college and i have always struggled with depression, anxiety, and OCD. i have never received help for my OCD despite being medicated for my other two issues. i have noticed that what most of my panic stems from is my OCD and more specifically my OCD around school. i haven’t been able to get myself up for class for multiple days and im starting to panic about everything im missing and think about every little thing i have to fix. i am so behind that it makes me want to panic and i feel like i cant fix this. i just want my mind to feel normal but it feels like my whole world is falling apart all because i am feeling stuck in school. please help me i just want to feel okay but i dont know how to. i have tried doing all the assignments i can do to catch up but it isn’t enough i still feel so panicked
Often times I find myself spiraling out in the morning about all sorts of things. When I try and catch myself and figure out what I am obsessing over it’s like it goes away. I haven’t moved. I have been sitting frozen on the floor because I can’t go to work because I am behind on work and I hate being late and I hate being messy but I am frequently late and my room is cluttered and full of stuff. I want to be good and move and go to work but I don’t know what is coming today and I hate my job so I know I will get bored and when I have nothing to keep me busy and engaged I like start thinking and taking an inventory of what is going on and then I will feel a sensation and what is the sensation? How did it happen? And I know that I will pick up the bad emotions in the office and get contaminated, I was really worried about things like this as a kid too I cried because I had to touch dirt in kindergarten. I know I am this way and I have been this way for a while but at the same time I think I might just be normal and like I don’t know why I get stuck in thinking like this. Then I begin to doubt that OCD is real because everyone has a brain with wiring and everyone gets stuck in thought sometimes. I feel disabled from whatever this is because I am stuck. I literally cannot move because I don’t know what’s wrong and I know I have to go to work even though I feel like every moment I spend there is making everything worse because other people are so stressed and I get it from them. And I don’t feel ready because I just feel off and something is wrong and I just don’t know what to do because if it’s OCD or not OCD everything anyone knows about me is coming from me and I worry that I am often masking all the thinking I’m doing because thinking all the time is rude and inconsiderate and inconvenient for those around me, but I can’t stop. I just don’t feel right, right now - and I want to know WHY?? Why is everything off all the time? How do I even know that I am not making up the experience of OCD in my head to cover up something really wrong with me and now I am taking on the symptoms of OCD like an actress, because this could be something that I can latch onto as a final hope for explaining why I am stuck. So stuck so deeply and terribly stuck sitting on my floor next to my bed just scrolling to avoid thinking because any time I start thinking I am left with no answers or help or anything just this swirly feeling. I know I am trying, maybe not my best, but as much as I possibly can. I want to be a Special Education Teacher but I have so much so so so much doubt and uncertainty about every decision I make and everything I know that I can’t get there right now. I can’t do anything right now until it feels ok and then I will. It never feels ok. I know I have to be ok not feeling ok about it. I can be unsure and still be ok. I know it’s just my thinking and my body but I just can’t get past this feeling. And then I know that because I can calm myself and be ok even though I spent 2 hours of my life today already feeling stuck and spinning around and around and around in my head - I don’t feel sure about my OCD and I think it’s a bit of a scam made up by people to cultivate pathology around deep human thought because one day I might figure it out and we all think a lot.
My ocd is hard today- it’s been two weeks focusing on the same ocd thoughts and countless checking repetitively. Any suggestions?
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