Please help a struggling person This is going to be long and i apologize. Since about 11 I’ve been treated for bipolar disorder and no antipsychotics ever had any effect on me. All made me feel lucid or zombie like. Recently a psychiatrist diagnosed me with ocd and adhd and told me that the two illnesses together can present as bipolar disorder and that’s probably why i was misdiagnosed the majority of my life. I’ve come at a cross roads in my life. I desperately need help but only see my psychiatrist once a month which doesn’t really help. I’m not really a therapy person either. Can someone please help me out and tell me if I’m crazy or if they’ve had similar experiences?? My freshman year i had a 4.0 and was excited at the thought of becoming a med student in the future. Now that it’s summer I’m spiraling. I’m so angry all the time. I won’t let anyone see me or talk to anyone. Im so afraid I’m not good enough and my thoughts consume me. Im constantly worried about the future and have vivid day dreaming episodes of where I’ll end up and how I’m going to fail. I won’t go out and have gained weight and now i constant obsess about my weight and won’t let anyone see me because of what i look like. My thoughts are in patterns and repeat and repeat and won’t go away. I can’t even function anymore. All i do is lay in my bed and think. It’s like a bad movie that won’t turn off. I also won’t allow myself to experience any sort of love connection because I’m terrified of confirming or denying my sexuality. My brain is constant and i feel like there’s nothing that i can do to ever turn it off and feel normal. My intrusive thoughts and starting to become my only thoughts. This panic state has been my state for about 3 weeks now. Can someone give some advice?

Username: djsognaldjsognal

Date posted: 5y ago

I can't speak to all of this, but I'll say a couple of things. If you're having trouble getting out of bed, just focus on it and try to do it, as best you can. Feel good about it, and feel good about the little things. Reward yourself. Also, let people be there for you and help you through this. It's the best way to stay out of your head.

Username: FernandoVFernandoV

Date posted: 5y ago

I'm sorry you are going through that. It is really hard, I've been through that too. I don't know why you said that you are not a therapy person. Have you tried it ever, with a good trained behavioural specialist? I am afraid there is no other way out, my friend. You need to find a therapist that feels right for you. You need to reach out to friends and family abd let them know what you are going through, since they are not under the spell of "cognitive distortions" they might be able to think more clearly. There are intensive outpatient programs too in some clinics. It is not a bad idea to take a break from your life for a couple of months and recover and then go back to life - there's nothing shameful about it. It's better than just go on surviving for many years feeling miserable.

Username: hayleighhayleigh

Date posted: 5y ago

My family doesn’t believe in mental health and thinks everything can be overcome through just toughing it out. And i didn’t really vibe with the last 6 therapist I’ve tried the past 3 years. I just need someone to talk to and tell me I’m not crazy. Not do silly papers and such. Feels like a waste of time and is not the way my brain processes things. I tried the same therapist for 4 months once a week and she was a paper person. Just doesn’t work. I need someone to listen and confirm my thoughts and telling me I’m not crazy

Username: FernandoVFernandoV

Date posted: 5y ago

You need to reach out to anybody who is more informed about mental health issues. Anybody, it can br a friend, a school counselor, an uncle, etc. YOU HAVE TO DO THAT. - It is fine that you haven't found the right therapist. I went through 5 too and the sixth was the charm. You need to find an expert on anxiety disorders. There is such a thing as "therapist shopping". This person needs to be an ally to you. Now, I can reassure you that you are not crazy(whatever that means) and that might comfort you for a little but eventually your mind will find something else. A sign that you are not losing your mind is that you are in touch with reality and super aware of your challenges. Having anxiety, depression, sadness, shame over our bodies, eating disorders, moody swings, etc. That is completely normal for a human being to have. You are a human just like anybody else. It is O.K no to feel O.K All the time. It is O.K to have mental health issues, that does not make you a crazy person.

Username: hayleighhayleigh

Date posted: 5y ago

Thank you for that. I have nobody and have tried countless times to reach out and that’s inevitably why i downloaded this app. To have likeminded people who understand such a complex illness. I just need validation but that may not be the purpose of this app. So thank you for helping

Username: AmaliaAmalia

Date posted: 5y ago

I don't know if you've tried but what works really well for me is yoga and meditation, really focusing on breathing. I find 9 times out of 10 when I'm in a loop it's because I wasn't breathing much. I tend to breathe shallowly and even hold my breath at times. Also just walking out in the fresh air. Always use this app to talk about an issue or just hear others problems sometimes helps to take your mind off your own.

Username: heiz

Date posted: 5y ago

I’ve never been the type of person to open up about myself but these last 3 months have been the hardest, worst time of my life. I’m 16 years old, and I’ve been anxious and had anxiety my whole life. Over the last couple years I’ve learned how to cope with my anxiety and be a happy person. But one night in January, i was watching random videos on YouTube, and a video about serial killers came on. I’ve always been interested in crime shows/documentaries, so I didn’t think twice before deciding to click on it. In the middle of the video I had this intrusive thought that said “why do people murder loved ones or innocent people” and “what does it feel like to kill somebody” I am not aggressive, or have ever caused harm, but these thoughts scared me to death. I felt a instant shock of anxiety and panic immediately. I thought something was wrong with me. I turned my phone off and went to bed hoping the next day I would forget about it. Unfortunately I never forgot about the thoughts, and still have intrusive thoughts that affect my day to day life. I feel so hopeless, even after seeing a therapist, and being on Prozac for 5 weeks I don’t feel a difference. Every time I try to be positive and tell myself “they’re just thoughts” ocd tells me, “yeah sure, but what if you did these things”? “What if you WANT to do these things”? I stress that I might actually want to do these horrible things secretly and am convinced that one day I will commit these crimes. I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel so hopeless, and even being around my girlfriend who used to bring me so much joy, I still can’t be my regular self. Please I feel so hopeless and sad I can’t even do the things I used to enjoy, remembering I have these thoughts is with me 24/7 from the second I wake up to the second I fall asleep. Anybody have advice? Sorry for the rant I just needed to get this off my chest. I just want to be normal again and enjoy being around my family and my girlfriend again

Harm OCD

Username: bluberries

Date posted: 4y ago

I feel like I’m going crazy again. I moved to a new state so that means new doc/therapist. Since I’ve moved here about 4 months ago I’ve been dealing with terrible episodes and I’m just miserable. I haven’t been on medication and recently i decided to try it again. About 2 weeks ago i called around to see if they take my insurance and the ppl that did either aren’t taking new patients or they’re way too far for me to travel as i have no car and I’m very very low on cash bc my mental hasn’t been able to get a new job bc I’m terrified. I made an appointment but they didn’t have anything till later this month and I’ve been trying to be positive but I just keep having this obsession that i NEED the medicine and i dc if it will make me a zombie and emotionless bc that’s just how miserable i am. Im crying uncontrollably because my thoughts won’t chill out. I don’t know what to do in the meantime & i can’t afford to commit myself . If anyone has anyways to cope while I’m waiting to see a doctor I’d really be grateful. I feel like my brain is going to explode.

Username: Courtney

Date posted: 4y ago

This is long but I’m hurting and need practical advice on what to do. My OCD is convincing me I’m psychotic. It doesn’t help that I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder and had an ill informed therapist tell me for 8 months that my intrusive thoughts were hallucinations and delusions. I just quit lithium a week ago after being on it for 4 months after a psychiatric nurse who I no longer am seeing told me it was safe to do so. I don’t exactly trust her though since she accused me of being a liar, impulsive, having a personality disorder, and told me I had to take antipsychotics or she would walk away, when I had legitimate questions about the bipolar diagnosis (hence no longer being in her care). My anxiety and intrusive thoughts are spiking worse than ever. My main theme is harm so I’m terrified of becoming manic and psychotic and believing my intrusive thoughts are correct, even though my non-OCD self is positive I’m not bipolar. I’m starting to doubt I have OCD and am asking myself what if I am actually delusional and in denial about my situation and am actually a danger to myself and others. I got approved for a PHP in the OCD and anxiety disorder program at Rogers but I don’t start for another 3 weeks. Has anyone been through anything like this (misdiagnosis, wrong medication making you worse, lithium withdrawal, questioning if your OCD is actually psychosis, etc) and has some advice with how to deal with this? I’m feeling so hopeless and dejected after being tossed around the mental health field like this only to find out I have OCD and could have started treatment 8 months ago and not gotten to this point if my doctors were more aware of this condition

Harm OCD

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community