I’m so scared

Back in October, I told one of my friends about my intrusive and scary thoughts relating to POCD. A few days later, she cut me off after sending me a text message, which basically accused me of being an actual pedophile or someone who wants to hurt children. This was a very stressful day to say the least. Anyways- fast forward to today- she reaches out to me for the first time since then, basically confronting me once again about all of this. She also posted comments relating to my POCD thoughts on my social media profile. I just feel anxious that I can’t be trusted anymore and that she is going to tell everyone that I’m terrible or that everyone is going to think I’m actually terrible. I have already had enough worries about being a bad person, it is even more difficult when your once best friend is accusing you of being the most horrendous thing that many people can ever imagine. I’m scared to be around other people, for that they may have heard something about me, or will. I feel paranoid. I feel afraid for my future. Ever since October, I have felt that this would haunt me for the rest of my life.

Username: shantellyshantelly

Date posted: 1y ago

I am so sorry you’re going through this. Sounds like your friend seriously betrayed your trust and is not acknowledging your disorder or taking into account how common POCD is within the disorder. That is on them. They are the ones being harmful. You did absolutely nothing wrong. All you did was take a chance at being completely vulnerable. I can’t give advice on where to go from here but just know that you are not alone and there is a whole community of people who’ve had to deal with this same shame and fear. I hope that your friend learns that all they are doing is causing more harm and I hope that they grow from it.

Username: sjsmith98sjsmith98

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I think the best thing you can do is be open about your OCD, it's surprising how many people will listen! On your social media you can retweet resources and talk about it more openly. Maybe even sending her some links describing OCD. I know all of that is easier said then done but you have a large community here and it won't haunt you for the rest of your life. If you don't want to be public about OCD that's okay too, but just having some details and resources prepared to recommend if people ask you about it could help you feel ready to deal with the situation

Username: BigGyro09BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y ago

It annoys me to no end about how much this disorder is misunderstood. It's never communicated properly to those who haven't heard of it, and I was once those people in high school when I heard an friend talk about it. Had no idea I'd be so bothered by intrusive thoughts as well. I'm really sorry you had to go through that. It's awful to have something like that happen to you when it's not true. It's awful that your friend didn't stick by you with something this serious. You deserve to find a therapist that will help you with this. You deserve to feel better. You're the last person that would do the things your thoughts say. I hope you get better soon. I hope things get better

Username: meep.meepmeep.meep

Date posted: 1y ago

I'm sorry to hear :( that sounds really hard

Username: andrea_sam730andrea_sam730

Date posted: 34w ago

Omggg if you ever need someone to talk to here’s my snap asam1565

Username: Lrose

Date posted: 6y ago

Hey guys, just wanted a bit of advice as I’m sure my friends are sick of me constantly asking them for reassurance and to be there for me. I use to be very close friends with this girl who had kids with a complete an utter nasty piece of work, anyway when they were together I was friendly with him as he was with my close friend and that’s only right, even though most people despised of him, I never see the bad in people. Then when they broke up he came to my home a few times to chat and for advice, which I gave him, he then tried it on with me sexually and I obviously declined in which he didn’t like, I then had the decency to tell me friend the mother of his children and it back fired on me for trying to be the good friend by telling her the truth, she then took his side in which I lost all respect for her as I was trying to do right by her for telling her what had happened as o hate things like that on my mind. After this he came to my house and threatened, send me a whole load of abusive threatening voice notes too like the vile human he is because of course he got found out. I drifted away from her because of the situation and clearly trying to do the right thing was the wrong thing, we have briefly spoke since this happened a few times within the last three or so months. This caused me to have severe ocd and have the worst paranoia, I don’t want her in my life, I don’t even have her number saved but today she turned up at my door unexpectedly just to ‘pop in’ although I don’t want anything to do with her, the whole situation makes me feel ill, makes my ocd bad and bad paranoia. What can I do?

Username: lou47

Date posted: 5y ago

Hello there. I haven't been on here for a while as I have been free from my ocd. However the last few weeks I have had it creeping back. A person who I thought was a friend turned out to be absolutely vile and has preyed on my ocd to try and make me ill again. She has told friends about my ocd who never knew about it....fortunately these friends have looked it up and completely understand. My ocd wont however let me stop thinking about what she said to my friend and I am obsessing about this horrible vile person and what she has said to others who dknt know me that well. It is bringing my 'p' ocd to the forefront of my mind again. I know it is my thought processes but throughout my life I have always worried what others think about me and this person knew that. She has lied and lied and has said I am this terrible person with a black heart. I know I am certainly not but I still cant stop worrying what she has said to someone who hardly knows me. I know this shouldn't bother me but it does. Is this my ocd working overtime? She said that people laugh at me and call me loopy louise which I know they dont but I really dont caring they do because I laugh at it to. But because I had the very disturbing paedophile thoughts she said to someone that I think I am a peado. This friend told me straight away and has since fallen out with this awful person. But I cant stop thinking about this constantly and what others might think who dont really know. This person I have since found out after 25 years of knowing of her has actually been a terrible person to her children when they were growing up and stole thousands of pounds off of vulnerable people. I dont know why this is bothering me as all of my friends who care about me know about my ocd and understand. I just cant seem to get this horrible person out of my mind. It didnt bother me until she tried to bully me and then sent all of the texts I sent her years ago when I divorced my husband. He told me he knew she was nuts but it bothered me when he said she said some disgusting and vile things about me. This has so upset me. Just wondered if anyone can give me any advice . Btw my ex lived with my ocd for years! Thanks for listening. Just need some support from others with this horrible disorder. Xx

Username: dee012

Date posted: 42w ago

pocd

still always scared and worried that deep down im a p, that the signs have “been there” (signs being weird stuff i watched as a kid and also me being very touchy with other kids as a child). my pocd spiked when me and my best friend found out her ex is an actual p. i just hate this i don’t even trust myself and the groinal responses are unbearable. i really don’t like this im scared im gonna die alone. me and my friend were having a convo abt ped0s yesterday due to her ex and i know a lot about them bc i researched about them because of my ocd but now im scared she thinks im a p or im just a p in denial who just covers it up with ocd. as im writing this im getting really bad groinal responses and i don’t know why. i use to be fine and got better with my pocd why is it back and 10x worse

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I’m so scared

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