Emotional contamination ocd

Hi. Yeah, I guess, this is an example of Emotional or thought contamination. It is not another way of saying regular contamination ocd. It is more in the group of magical thinking ocd. Kind of. You can feel dirty by not even touching anything or anyone. Just a thought of someone or a call, a text message or a thought of something that reminds you of your ocd trigger can cause such a fear of sth bad happening, that you need to react. You feel dirty even though you had no physical contact with anyone or anything. Of course, if you do have a physical contact or just see them or touch them or sth of theirs or see or touch sth from someone who is in any way connected to your fear, you are a goner. OCD explodes. You feel dirty, anything you touch from when the fear occurred until you do the compulsion ( taking a shower for me) feels dirty and you need to wash them too ( clothes, bags, shoes, even the money-literally wash it, the doorknobs, light switches,....) It can take hours on end. My worst record was just before I went on Zoloft, 8 hours in a piece of exhausting myself by washing. That was my rock bottom. You basically clean real dirt, but mostly nonexistent dirt of thoughts, emotions. I hope I managed to kind of explain it to you and the Anonymous above. Nobody wants any type of ocd, but this type is in my opinion the worst. Like a psycho who just doesn't let go tormenting you until it takes away everything from you, completely isolates you and exhausts you to death. I would not wish it to anyone, not even to my worst "enemy".

Hi. Thank you for sharing. What I fear is that they and their energy bring me bad luck in life and that's why I feel dirty. I am able to postpone compulsions, but not to not do them sooner or later. Why? Because I fear, that if I go on with my life later on, especially if something bad happens, I will need to clean not only myself, my clothes, but absolutely everything in my home I would have touched by that time would be dirty. I would be unable to touch it or use it unless I cleaned it, so the cleaning would become endless. I think I would break down. But the obsessions we share. For me feels more acceptable to jump out of an aeroplane than to touch them or anything they have touched. The only thing I am sure of is that you could never become like them, because you worry about it and you care about being a good, kind and nice person. And that is exactly what you are. If you weren't, you would not worry, suffer and feel pain. You wouldn't give it a second thought. I know you know this and that when OCD hits its difficult to believe in yourself. For me, the core problem is that I become afraid of people who actually did sth bad ro me, who disappointed me when I trusted them or in one case who actually threatened me with black magic. It's super difficult not to believe the obsessions

Interesting is, that I obsess over one person for a few years until the next person hurts or disappoints me and becomes the reason for my obsessions. At that moment the previous person loses all power and I couldn't care less about them. I don't fear them at all anymore. I wish I knew what's wrong with me. Why am I doing this to myself?I am never free. I just change people. From that alone I should understand that I have no reason to fear anybody. If later I just line that stop obsessing over them when previously my dear of them almost kills me. Should that alone not be a proof enough that ocd lies to me?

I used to literally have to walk as far as possible from bleach or spray bottles because I was afraid I would accidentally end up cross contaminating and poisoning someone. I always had to take a sip of whatever drink I gave the person who asked for said drink (I really came to despise this favor being asked of me for fear of contaminating them accidentally) to prove I wasn’t going to hurt that person. Obsessively wash hands or items if I believe them to have been cross contaminated, from what I recall

Is that like, for example … when you feel like you’ll “become” like the person who just touched this table because you touched it right after? Or is this like another way of saying regular contamination OCD?

Thank you so much for the explanation, I feel like I’ve experienced something like this. Expect I’d only shower from it sometimes most of the time I just think about all the ways I could become like them from touching something they’ve touched, touching them, or even being around them too long. I worry im “dirty” from them. Or I’ll subconsciously become like them.

when the person themselves threatened me with destroying me and bringing me bad luck.

And all of that just because I refused to accept their suggestion which would destroy my life. I didn't blindly obey, but was still very kind, polite and respectful. Still they attacked with full power. I did not expect such a behavior and was shocked. I stop being in touch with them, but before that they threatened me wit destroying me with black magic.

Who is nuts here? Me, my ocd or just them?