:( I’ve been having really loud thoughts in my head that almost feel like voices but I can’t tell if their intrusive thoughts or voices im really scared I don’t want my life to be over
One thing that helped me with this theme of developing or being schizophrenic was to try to stop being so terribly scared of the disease itself. I think so many people struggle with this theme because it’s so scary to think about losing your mind and not being yourself. In reality, many people who actually have schizophrenia lead perfectly normal/functional lives. They drive, have friends, family, enjoy things and carry out normal conversations. A SMALL percentage of people with schizophrenia suffer with severe delusions/psychosis which cause a state of distress and not even realizing they are not in reality. There is no wondering for them if it’s real. In their head it is real, no questions asked. And that sucks, but just like OCD, people with schizophrenia can lead perfectly normal lives with the use of medications, therapy, etc. it’s not an all life ending diagnoses, were you to actually have it. Also- auditory hallucinations (hearing things) is not enough to be diagnosed with schizophrenia. It’s a whole list of criteria that has to be met before getting a diagnoses. Just like intrusive thoughts alone are not enough for an OCD diagnoses.
@taylor1234 See the problem for me is my mom actually had schizophrenia😭😭and she unfortunately was that small percent that couldn’t function well, that’s where my schizophrenia ocd stems from was being traumatized by everything my mom went through, I’m constantly analyzing if I’m getting it. I already struggled a lot with major depressive disorder, anxiety, and OCD😭😭my thoughts feel really weird right now like they aren’t my own it scares me
@Anonymous I relate to this so much omg. My brother and my grandfather both have schizophrenia and I witnessed my brother have his first episode in 2019. It was by far the most traumatic thing I’ve been through and I think has triggered my OCD. I have a constant fear that I will develop schizophrenia like my brother and it’s extremely hard dealing with those thoughts especially while living with him. It’s also hard when google tells me i have a higher chance of getting it from being related to someone with it. 😭But i completely understand what you’re going through. if you ever want to talk about it i’m free
@angeliquerm20 Omg I’m so sorry I can completely relate, every single day I panic 😭😭id love to chat, do you have snap?
@Anonymous yess it’s angel_tho98 !
Hey, I've been there before too. Obsessions about schizophrenia was my second really big obsession (my first was religious and related to possession). I remember one night where I thought I could hear a police siren as clear as day and my wife heard nothing. I curled up and thought for sure I was losing my mind. If you are here it means you are in a place you can get help. Do ERP with exposures. I got to the point where I would watch schizophrenia simulations on YouTube and tell myself I 100% have schizophrenia for ERP. I never in a million years thought I would get to the point where I could do an exposure like that. Schizophrenia used to consume nearly every thought in my head for a couple of years. Now I hardly think about it at all. I know right now it seems impossible, but just know you aren't alone! I know how scary that thought feels. I know how loud your thoughts can seem where you start to question if it's real. Again you are on the right spot. I know exposures can help you. You've got this!
@donaldtf How are you doing now?
@Anonymous Good! I mean I'll still have things creep up. I've had some health related OCD flare up the past few weeks that I'm working through. It'll always be a part of my life but it doesn't feel like it owns me like it used to.
@Deetch That good! My fear is intrusive thoughts about my OCD flaring up and how it’s gonna keep flaring up in my future so I should just end things right now. I hope I’m cured permanently. I’ve had 4-5 flares and I don’t think I can take another one.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m literally going through the same thing right now. My thoughts are so loud and I feel such a loss of control for the thoughts that run through my head. Sometimes phrases just replay in my head like if I’m stuck in a loop or random words just pop in my mind and I’m like oh that must mean I’m schizophrenic. Reading the posts above, help me feel hopeful.
@Nicole Bb Yes I have the same exact thing!!!! I’m really confused I can’t tell what it is😅😅I guess racing thoughts??? Idk but it feels kind of like voices because it’s so sudden it Doesn’t feel like my own thought or like random phrases random songs it’s so trippy and weird….
@Anonymous I completely understand this. I found in a few articles that state the average human experiences between 60,000 – 80,000 thoughts a day. That's an average of 2500 – 3,300 thoughts per hour. For me, it gives me the notion that perhaps OCD makes us become more aware of what is going on in our mind. I estimate so because since experiencing OCD I have noticed I am more aware of my surroundings how my decisions affect others but also my thoughts and thought patterns.
@Anonymous How u doing and feeling going thru the same
@Nicole Bb How did you get over this? Going through it rn
@Anonymous Did you ever start feeling better?
I’m having a very bad evening with my intrusive thoughts. I was doing really good dealing with them but tonight one hit me hard. I’ve been having a lot of different intrusive thoughts but I’ll have one occasionally about hurting my mom or my dog who I love and they’re the only family I have in my life. They’re my world. I was helping my mom put away the dishes and I had the big kitchen knife in my hand and my intrusive thought was you could stab your mom. And then my brain said I had a twitch in my hand and that meant I wanted to do it. Let me just say that I wouldn’t hurt a fly. I actually caught a fly in a glass and put it outside instead of killing it this evening before this intrusive thought happened. I’m such a gentle and compassionate and caring person and these thoughts instantly cause me to have a panic attack. And I have no one to talk to them about. I know they’re hard for my mom to hear and I don’t want to be any more of a burden than I already am. I do desperately want to tell her and have her reassure me that I’m not crazy or a psycho. Then my thoughts wander to if your hand did flinch could you be a psychopath. Is hurting someone in you. I know it’s not but I feel like my mind is out to get me and hurt me. I’m working so hard and I thought I was doing so good but I need to know why I have these thoughts. They’re not ok. I need someone to help me make sense of why. I know we aren’t supposed to ruminate but I shouldn’t have thoughts like this about people I love and care about the most in the world.
man these few weeks have been so hard. i’m in the process of getting diagnosed with ocd, im almost positive i have it because everything on here relates to me on an insane level. but im just so scared dude. these thoughts of me harming someone are so scary and im so scared im gonna eventually act on them and i know i never want to but its still so scary. like sometimes when i talk to my mom about it i think in the back of my head “you know you want to” when i dont, and it makes me think or gets me scared that i do. these thoughts literally just happened out of nowhere and it messes me up so bad my literal perspective on life in general is just messed up. like i view life as its more common to be a bad person and its rare/hard to be good. can someone please just pray for me or just wish me better days. i dont even like looking at myself anymore and im scared i give off creepy vibes to myself or others now, this sucks so much
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