Hi, just wanted some support. I’ve been in therapy on and off for 6 years. I’m taking antidepressants continually and tranquilizers when my anxiety is too severe. I’m running three times a week and practicing meditation. Sometimes, I feel like I’m doing everything I can to feel better, but the anxiety is still there. I’m mentally exhausted. i just want to feel calm. Anyone living through this?

*venting* I’m so tired of life. I just woke up, and I feel like going back to bed and sleep until this nightmare passes. This week has been one of the hardest of my life. I don’t think I can face another day of intrusive thoughts, fear, anxiety. I need some moments of relief, but there are none. I wanna have a life again. Anxiety and obsessive thoughts have killed my social life, my ambitions and desires, my happiness. I’ve been fighting for the past 6 months for nothing. I don’t see any improvement. I’m on day 3 of Lexapro and of course i can’t tell if it’s gonna work for me or not. I’m on the first stages of ERP therapy and I still haven’t got any assigned homework to work on, which I really need because I need to feel like I’m doing SOMETHING to help myself with ocd and Gad. I just hope someone could just take out whatever part of my brain isn’t working properly and replace it with a new piece. I don’t wanna feel like a burden to my family or boyfriend anymore. I can’t believe all the damage that I’m causing. I don’t know what to do with all this self hate. I don’t know where to turn to. I seem to have all the help that one could need - therapy, medication, support system. Yet I feel like I can’t spend another day living like this.

I'm usually searching threads trying to help folks with their vastly different OCD issues. But now I'm having some issues and would like some support. I'm a 42 year old man. I have had OCD since I was a kid. Most of my symptoms are internal intrusive thinking and then repeatedly saying phrases in my head to counter the thoughts. A few years ago I began slowly tapering off of my benzos and started trying to deal with the anxiety myself. It's been a tough road but I have myself down to a very low dose now. The problem I have now is I have a spell about 3 times a year where things get difficult. I start thinking I have dealt with this for long enough. It has affected my marriage, lost me precious time with my kids and now I'm starting to have issues with being anxious around my own family. I stutter when talking and feel like a total idiot. I don't know how to stay calm without the benzos. After so many years im getting so tired of dealing with this. The doctor raised my SsRI recently, probably a month ago. It really hasn't helped much.

I wish so bad that I could go back to being how I was before the anxiety and OCD had taken over my life, and the subsequent medications and their side effects . It’s mostly bodily sensations now. Tension headaches daily. Fast pounding heart rate. Feeling like I’m constantly out of breath. Feeling like I’m going to pass out. My eyes moving involuntarily. Feeling intense anxiety for no apparent reason. Feeling like the ground is moving under me. I’ve tried so many things. Many different meds, many different therapys, and I only seem to be getting worse as the years go on. I’m loosing hope that I’ll get better than I am now.