Driving

Hi all! I wanted to share something that’s been bothering me for a while, and maybe some of you can relate. I’ve had my driver’s license for 2 years now… but I don’t drive. I’m honestly really scared of getting behind the wheel — I’m afraid I’ll mess up, panic, or cause an accident. Sometimes I feel embarrassed because it seems like everyone around me drives without a second thought. Are there any of you who have the same fear or have gone through this and managed to overcome it? I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences or any advice. Thank you so much in advance!

For context, I was previously diagnosed with GAD and OCD. Months ago, after a night of drinking with coworkers I experienced slight hangxiety, but I remembered most of the night. At work when I asked a coworker if I did anything weird he made a joke that really wasn’t funny. This joke caused me to doubt my memory. I think I had thought I was more sober than everyone else when in reality I was not. I remember checking on a coworker who was slumped over in the drivers seat of his car and in no state to drive and asking “you good?” The next thing I remember is that I was in the drivers seat of his car reversing out and I think I assumed that he and our other coworker were also in the car. Our other coworker stopped me and told me to pull back into the parking stall and come back inside. I remember the events both leading up to and after that all the way until I got home. However the small gap in my memory had been causing me a lot of distress, so I asked that coworker who I went to check on who was the only person that was present during the gap in my memory if I touched anyone or let anyone touch me, to which he said no definitely not. He also said that he wasn’t in the car when I was reversing out and that he vividly remembers that I was the only person in the car. When I explained to him that the joke that our other coworker said made me worry that I might’ve done something that constitutes cheating on my bf he said no that guy is just weird and says effed up stuff. I feel a lot better, because he has no reason to lie and he doesn’t seem like that type of person. However I still feel unsettled, so I plan to call my doctor’s office when they open in the next hour. I’m wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar/has any advice.

Is it possible to have been living your life well and enjoying your days but have been physically hurting people without knowing? Like you are always aware of your actions right? I have this terrible feeling that I hurt one of my students and went through an entire week either blacking it out or not realizing. But it’s something I feel like you should realize. A disturbing dream seems to have triggered this.