That person specifically with fear of germs

These past few days I was fine. Minimal intrusive thoughts ,no anxiety etc(to add I'm on medication so maybe it's starting to work although it barely is 2 weeks) and today I got a sudden wave of anxiety and it started latching on some thoughts like" what if I'm in denial and I wanna break up with my bf? And what if erp doesn't work for me because I actually wanna break up with my bf?" But they didn't really stay long usually those thoughts would make me spiral for days or so, now they lasted for some hours. And now I'm trying to trigger myself into being anxious again because if I don't it means I don't have ocd and if I don't have ocd it means I don't love my bf and if I don't love my bf it means I have to break up. Idk if it makes sense but the lack of anxiety makes me wonder if I actually have ocd or not.

Sometimes I had some relationship OCD and then I didn’t qualify for contamination OCD however I know in relationships partners like to be close and drink out of each others cup. My partner was thirsty and getting very hot and he asked for my drink and I gave it to him he felt better and I am so beyound happy he did! I feel a lot of shame admitting this, he told me I could have my drink back and I said thank you! 😊 He noticed I didn’t drink it because in my mind it says it is contaminated and I felt extremely bad that he noticed so I got a piece of gum to distracte us I then had to spit out the gum because it wasn’t a good flavor then my brain told me well… ( Ms.OCD) said if I don’t drink it it will hurt his feelings and then that means I don’t like him and then I drink it then I spiraled from there lol 😂 I am so sorry it wasn’t a weird funny story I was wondering if anyone else can relate? I was wondering if there is any advice I can please have? Thank you so much!! Please write down something in the comments if you are struggling because I want to help you all as well!! Thank you!!

hi! i often fear im going to lose my job because i made a “mistake” (not really) that my manager caught and is waiting to tell me about or i fear im going to be kicked off the roster of a team im on for small mistakes that everyone makes. this often compels me to ask those people if i did good or not and gauge their reactions to see if theyre going to remove me and i fall into a cycle of asking and asking. how do you guys deal with these feelings / compulsions? when im flaring i often just spend as much time around these people as possible to gather “evidence” of their opinion on me, but then i get nervous that they hate me for being clingy. i also abandon other duties / tasks so i can spend time with these people to make sure they like me. what do you guys do? anyone else experience the sentiment?