Struggling with hopelessness and a loss of belief in finding relief.

I don’t know if your religious but if you are the lord Jesus Christ will always be there for you even in your darkest times.

I am very thankful for you guys replying, its been a very up and down day for me, writing out about it felt a bit refreshing, and i am very grateful for your responses, have been sitting and joking around with my siblings and having a very good time :):) Its so important for me to have this app and this network of people, i am very grateful and thankful for this.

Been there. It's totally not true. This is a lie OCD feeds you to keep you "safe". You can get better, it just feels absolutely terrible. I'm on my third big relapse and I'll get over this one too. You can do it.

I’ve been feeling the same way and I am so sorry you’ve been dealing with this!! What’s been helping me is finding something to create, eliminating extra stress or things that make things worse for no reason (only having 3 drinks a week, making sure I’m eating properly, not having 5 cups of coffee a day, actually sleeping, taking a day every week to just play video games or only do fun things, etc.). I’ve also been trying to hang on to the idea that God has more for me; that my struggles are “just a chapter” in a much bigger story. It’s been helping me to think of my journey as a sort of knight’s tale…and right now I’m just in the part where I’m trying to find my way out of the dragon’s lair. No hero generally thinks that part of their story will end but it eventually does. Praying also helps…even though the nature of my OCD makes me wonder if God could ever love me. I know He does but it’s hard to hold on to that in my heart. Despair is far easier….but it isn’t a place I can stay. So I’ll pray for you and I hope with all my heart that you are able to face this dragon and win.

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I’ve also felt the despair and hopelessness, and I’ve felt drained, tired and exhausted after both fighting my brain and trying to understand it. I hope you can trust that you’ll find something to help you through. Something that helped me, is just honestly going through the day, sitting in the feelings and going through the motions. I had a moment this week where I just don’t know why I’m still going with ERP, but I’m just going without feeling a purpose. What you’re feeling isn’t permanent, and you’ll get to a better headspace.

Its the nature of OCD. It is because it is literally the doubting disorder. It is difficult, and even nearly impossible to believe in something. Especially something you cannot be absolutely certain of. Remember, if is a disorder. People without ocd usually believe in that things will be ok because they, quite literally, most likely will be ok. We just refuse to take that for an acceptable answer, however. And all you need to do is learn to accept that answer and have peace with it. Because, to be completely frank, things will most likely be ok ;)

I know it is so hard, but you are not alone and there is always hope. I will be praying that Jesus will meet you (because He will) where you are. Sending you so much love!

I’ve been there and had to understand that every feeling and emotion is temporary. It took time though so I’m sending you much love 💕

Been feeling that way too a lot. Have had a lots of ups and downs, my sleep is pretty messed up right now and have depression too. So yep dealing with hopelessness and despair. Trying to remind myself that I do have better moments, I just need to been more consistent in my responses and with ERP. Acceptance is a big issue for me as well, my therapist says I’m fighting too much and it’s exhausting me, I need to just let the emotions and thoughts flow in and out. Easier said than done. But know you are not alone, OCD is an ass and we CAN beat it, I’ve seen moments of that which means I can see more. If I can and many others can see them, you can too!

It also helped me to take an evening and just lay out everything that’s been brewing beneath the surface of the OCD. The stuff that has been making me feel so unsafe in the first place that’s fueling a lot of the OCD (I have found that mine gets worse the more scared I am that I’m unlovable). Love really does cast out all fear…it’s harder to feel safe when you aren’t loved. I actually took time to unpack without a friend why I constantly feel that and I HATED every second of it…but I felt lighter afterwards. Oh…that was a lot of words. I’m sorry! I’ll shut up now.