- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you it’s very helpful. These thoughts have just all felt so real. I appreciate the help.
- Date posted
- 5y
It is definitely hocd. And your worries about killing your mum was harm ocd, and that your boyfriend would kill you was harm ocd. But remember that ocd will have you questioning everything and ocd will never let you relax with any decision you make, it will have you question even this comment that I am writing. Ocd will always win, you need to accept the thoughts as just thoughts, and live in the now as much as you can with these thoughts, hope this helped a bit xx
- Date posted
- 5y
Ocd makes every thought feel extremely real, ocd is an illness and wouldn't be an illness if it was easy to cope with, sadly xx
- Date posted
- 5y
my situation was exactly the same. literally,,,, the exact same. i would give you some advice but everything i would say has already been said!! just stay strong. ocd will try its best to trick you and twist every little thought into so many things that it is most definitely not. just breathe. you’ll get through this.
- Date posted
- 5y
This is another intrusive thought like the others, I get them all the time. It feels so real but you need to remember it’s not. OCD will make you think it’s real and make you think you’re crazy, a murderer, a lesbian or whatever. We need to just accept they are thoughts and keep breathing ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey! I’m 15 too! Holla to the ocd teens!! Haha. You’re definitely not alone and it’s definitely ocd. You’re describing it completely. I dealt with harm ocd as a child and I got over that too! You can totally get over this. I did! I’m in so much of a better place now. It’s taken damn hard work, but it’s worth it. I would recommend getting a therapist and to stop ruminating, checking, mentally reviewing, and get out of your head! Practice mediation. Look up some articles on actual denial. Accept the uncertainty that you could be! Live in the moment. Don’t review the past and don’t review what the future could be. You will be okay!
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you for the advice MissLovely. I appreciate it.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you! It feels nice to know we aren’t alone, but I wish for no one to go through this. It’s such a pain. Stay strong aswell!
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 21w
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 18w
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- OCD newbies
- Students with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 16w
Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Like I'm always like I need to test if I'd feel aroused to intimate scenarios with S, lately im trying to fight this urge to test and test but my mind is like "just do it this once so you can be sure. I can never watch anything romantic or sexual or whatever because my mind would be like "you and S" or sometimes I'm just enjoying time with my bf and im like " yes we can just have a sneaky cheating thing thats ok" and it makes me want to figure it out to find an answer a solution because idk it just does like I need to find the meaning of it if it means the truth and all. Im worried im just an awful person and these thoughts just ruin my quality of life . Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Now i keep groing everytime and I dont know why but i have this sensation and I dont want to havebit especially when its something S related. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? What should i do?
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