Help me

My boyfriend was texting with another girl he knew from school. He texted with her a couple of months now and not very often. But last night she got mad because she found out he had an relationship with me. He told me about it and said that he felt bad and that he knew he was wrong. He let me see all the messages. The girl had also taken screenshots. They talked about meeting up, but that was not serious he said. And that they were joking. I was mad and I said not again, my ex really cheated on me and he knew that I was scared it would happen again. We talked a lot and I said very clear and mad: if you ever do that sort of thing again we are done. I give him another chance because he’s really sweet for me and does a lot for me. But I said my trust is gone and we need to work on that. Today he’s really showing me everything on his phone and deleted the girl. Is this right or wrong that I go on? I really love him and he’s even gonna tell his mom.

NotAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

No one can answer the question but you. Personally I would give him another shot but stand by your boundaries next time its over.

Anonymously2

Date posted: 1y ago

@NotAnonymous Yes that’s true, every story is different. Do you have any tips for us to make the trust come back? And what should I do and shouldn’t do?

Anonymously2

Date posted: 1y ago

Yes true. He cried and really said it was stupid of him. He really showed he wanted to do everything to bring the trust back. I can notice right know because I’m constantly on his phone now he’s okay with it. He deleted her also. He is really insecure and said that it probably was because it was feeding his insecurity. He liked the attention even tho he got enough from me he said. But he said it was stupid and knows that he shouldn’t do it again or it will be over. And from his reaction I could see he means it. And he told me hisself that the girl was mad I didn’t heard it from her. Is that positive or not?

angelsnax

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I have been in both situations. Jealous of other girls my bf or gf is texting and I’ve also been the one in the relationship that is always looking for validation from others outside of my relationships. I’m working on it because I have hurt many wonderful people. My low self-esteem seeks attention and it’s not ok. He may genuinely be honest that it will stop. I have said that many times to others and I didn’t because my codependency is so strong.

Anonymously2

Date posted: 1y ago

@angelsnax Yes that’s true. But he had contact with her 2/3 times a month and not for long he said so it isn’t that he has it every day, i hope that helps for me and that he won’t do it again because he wasn’t texting nuch

NotAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

I think it depends on what you need to feel trust again. He may need to be more open. For example letting you look through his phone AND social media accounts for however long it takes you to feel secure. It for sure is gonna take some time to trust again but thats a good start. It lets you know he is really trying, has no intention of messing up again and it could be good for your piece of mind.

Anonymously2

Date posted: 1y ago

@NotAnonymous Thankyou!

cielorae5

Date posted: 23w ago

relationship ocd trigger

Hi everyone this is my first post on here but I need advice relationship ocd and ocd in general has taken such a toll on my life as of recently my boyfriend and I decided to not be together we still communicate we’re on good terms and he’ll be visiting soon( long distance) recently a friend I went to school w dad passed and it got me thinking of another friend (male) I used to have feelings for him LONG ago my boyfriend knows of that and I searched his name on Instagram recently and now I feel extremely guilty for this and feel like I need to confess this to my partner did I do something wrong? is this a normal feeling with ocd? someone please give advice.

Relationship OCD

Mariabae

Date posted: 8w ago

i feel bad

i feel so bad for posting here, idk what i wamt i have so many thoughts abt the feelings i have for my bf im scared my thughts are true or that they will be true and i feel bad for feeling amd thinking this way i such a bad girlfriend, i am scared that i like other people just because i look at them or talk to them normally and i feel like a liar what cam i do to stop feeling like this i am scared

Jennaffuur

Date posted: 4w ago

Rocd

Does Rocd make it nearly impossible to forgive your partner for anything. Whether it is big or small? My situation is so gray area where there’s something my bf did that I feel like I’m not okay with but he did this when we were first dating (not bf and gf yet). I ruminate all day about it bc I don’t want to lose him and see a future with him and I know he loves me so purely. But I also feel like I’m going against my morals here bc I do feel betrayed by what he did. I try to forgive him by diminishing my feelings and telling myself “he never did anything physical with a girl or went out with another girl while we were together” but still feel so hurt that he even messaged another girl while us dating. He’s given me an explanation and has proved how much I can trust him so I’m just completely stuck on whether I should forgive something I know I would’ve never done to him or leave him even though the only thing he’s done wrong was before us becoming official. I’ve broken up with him countless times over this situation bc I feel like I “can’t live with it” but then immediately when we break up I want him back and I kind of understand his explanation and reasoning. I don’t know what is ocd and what is my real intuition anymore. I genuinely think it’s both. Are any of you guys in the same boat?

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