The amount of posts seeking for reassurance is ridiculous, people, if you see posts like that, please please don’t answer their questions, I know that you’re just trying to help, but you’re doing more harm than good by feeding the ocd monster. Notice how people wanting to be reassured are always coming back with the same question a few hours, or days later, so it doesn’t work and it won’t help you get better!

I already make a post about this but i need to hear more thoughts on this. Let’s be clear- i am not asking for reassurance i just want to know how to deal with this ocd. Basically, my ocd keeps doing this thing were, for instance if i don’t - make a religious post - report a religious post -Post certain tik toks (Examples of many) It accuses me of being ashamed or embrassed of my religion. I AM NOT!!!!!!!!!!! It makes me post so much (not too much) but I don’t want to NOT in a bad way- i just don’t want to all the time. I feel like religion isn’t all about that and it keeps accusing me. Just now i saw a photo of Priests. They were wearing a certain hat. I ddint want to repost it becwsue 1. Not bc of anything really 2. I am sad to say I ddint like the hat- i felt bad about it, ocd make me do compulsions over it. I now like and appreciate the hat. I make the repost. But I just feel like ocd is making me think if I don’t do soemthing I am ashamed or embrassed and it is getting out of hand. How do i separate ocd from this???????

One fun thing about what I’ve experienced is that even if I go to people for reassurance, more often than not it doesn’t help and makes things worse. I see how from an outside perspective it looks like denial and the moment I open my mouth to talk about it the instant thought is “you’re faking it, you know it’s true and you’re faking it”. And it’s great when people say maybe you are this or that like it’s no big deal, …but it is? And then again it’s like maybe they see something I don’t?

I know I shouldn’t be seeking reassurance as I know this just fuels OCD, but I really need to vent. I just continue to feel so alone with these thoughts and worries. I feel pathetic for writing about this again on here, but right now it’s just overwhelming feeling. I have posted on here before about this, but basically I continue to have thoughts that people are out to hurt me, including family members. I don’t even feel comfortable at home right now cause I get these thoughts and I feel so fearful/anxious of them. I’m terrified this is more than OCD and that these are actual delusions. It’s always just in the back of the mind the past few days and it’s exhausting. Feeling like I can’t trust others and not even myself. Plus it goes a long with my harm thoughts, because I thought “if my mom is trying to hurt me, I need to hurt her first as a way to protect myself!” And I just feel so much dread thinking that. Like I’m actually going to do it and it makes me depressed and panicky. Plus I picture all these different scenarios, like me being in the hospital, my life officially over, losing my job, etc. I’m thinking the absolute worst. I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist with OCD at 15 and have had flare ups over the years on/off, but at the beginning of this year it started my worst flare up yet and has just continued to persist. First started with health, then turned to my usual theme of harm, and now it’s harm/mixed with fear of psychosis. I try hard to just let the thoughts be, but the anxiety persists and the thoughts won’t go away. It makes me feel so uncomfortable and hard to concentrate on anything. I just want to know if this is OCD or delusional thinking. I feel like I need to know for sure, to know that I’m actually safe and that I’m not a danger. If the longer I wait, the more damage I’m actually doing to myself. Thank you to whoever reads this and relates or responds. I appreciate this community and how open-minded and open-hearted you all are. This disorder is horrible how it makes us doubt and question everything.