I am so lost.

Hello, 3 weeks ago I experienced something that triggered horrible intrusive thoughts. I have been having 5-10 panic attacks every day. I can't leave the house and haven't been able to work. My relationship with my girlfriend is in distress as she has 2 young kids and doesn't understand what I am going through. I feel so alone. It wasn't until last Monday that my psychiatrist identified it as intrusive thoughts and now I am realizing how many other OCD symptoms I am having. I can't eat from my anxiety. I am so so sad. I just feel like this will never end and I am going to be in this black hole forever. All I do is worry about losing everything and everyone I love because of this.

Username: DaisyChainDaisyChain

Date posted: 1y ago

It’s very scary when you get the symptoms and trigger intrusive thoughts, I definitely had the same when I first started going through it. I was in a constant state of anxiety and paranoia, after a month I was able to sleep normally and eat normally again - although still severely anxious. Overtime due to meds and therapy I started doing things I love again. I was in remission for a year and a half (basically nearly back to normal). Had a relapse last month though, but it’s not full blown paranoia and anxiety - it’s more like an annoying sticky note at the back of my head with some icky feeling. What I’m trying to say is, it may seem tough now but you’re a lot stronger than you think and there are better days ahead :))

Username: Theron_Theron_

Date posted: 1y ago

I had some horrible triggers a couple weeks ago, so I know exactly how it feels. It can be an absolute crawl to get through the day. It’s very isolating and scary, but at the very least you have people here on this platform going through the same thing together. Stay strong.

Username: stoprunningstoprunning

Date posted: 1y ago

Sounds exactly how I was when I was First diagnosed. It gets better. Find the right therapist that specializes in OCD. Talk to your gf about it. Maybe send her some articles to read to learn more.

Username: Stacy QuickStacy Quick

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 1y ago

My heart definitely goes out to you. I am so grateful that you have found this community. In the depths of OCD, it can make you feel so guilty, so sad, so isolated, and so hopeless at times. I want you to know that there is so much hope to recover and to live a life where you don't feel this way. I know it's hard to see it now or believe that it's true, but OCD is very responsive to treatment. Have you checked out some of the free tools we have on the app? Maybe some of our educational webinars? I know we have talked a lot there about guilt, shame, etc., and I think some of that might be helpful. Wishing you the best of luck and the NOCD team is here for you if you are ever ready to take the step with therapy! Our Care Team will typically begin with a free 15-minute call to discuss treatment, answer any questions you have, and book your first appointment. Please feel free to schedule a convenient time that works best for you here: https://learn.nocd.com/scheduler

Username: heiz

Date posted: 5y ago

I’ve never been the type of person to open up about myself but these last 3 months have been the hardest, worst time of my life. I’m 16 years old, and I’ve been anxious and had anxiety my whole life. Over the last couple years I’ve learned how to cope with my anxiety and be a happy person. But one night in January, i was watching random videos on YouTube, and a video about serial killers came on. I’ve always been interested in crime shows/documentaries, so I didn’t think twice before deciding to click on it. In the middle of the video I had this intrusive thought that said “why do people murder loved ones or innocent people” and “what does it feel like to kill somebody” I am not aggressive, or have ever caused harm, but these thoughts scared me to death. I felt a instant shock of anxiety and panic immediately. I thought something was wrong with me. I turned my phone off and went to bed hoping the next day I would forget about it. Unfortunately I never forgot about the thoughts, and still have intrusive thoughts that affect my day to day life. I feel so hopeless, even after seeing a therapist, and being on Prozac for 5 weeks I don’t feel a difference. Every time I try to be positive and tell myself “they’re just thoughts” ocd tells me, “yeah sure, but what if you did these things”? “What if you WANT to do these things”? I stress that I might actually want to do these horrible things secretly and am convinced that one day I will commit these crimes. I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel so hopeless, and even being around my girlfriend who used to bring me so much joy, I still can’t be my regular self. Please I feel so hopeless and sad I can’t even do the things I used to enjoy, remembering I have these thoughts is with me 24/7 from the second I wake up to the second I fall asleep. Anybody have advice? Sorry for the rant I just needed to get this off my chest. I just want to be normal again and enjoy being around my family and my girlfriend again

Harm OCD

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

Late onset OCD

I am 36 years old with no history of mental illness. I had a stressful event at work about 6 months ago and slowly started getting intrusive thoughts about harming myself or my kids, but am at a point where it’s all I can think about. I was diagnosed with OCD officially this week. I’m distraught and finding it hard to cope since. I’ve never had to deal with anything like this before. I just started ERP therapy. I am hoping it helps but am terrified that it won’t. I just want my old self back! Please, if there is anyone out there who has gone through a similar situation, what helped you continue to function? Will I get to a point that I can function without being tormented by my thoughts?

Username: Lisseth27@

Date posted: 1y ago

Intrusive thoughts/depression/anxiety

Hello I am new to this application. I am 34 years old and I’m not sure if I have OCD but I’ve noticed that the last two weeks I have been having these horrible thoughts I can’t believe I am having them. It makes me so sad and scared and I can’t seem to stop crying. I’m going on week two feeling this way and can’t seem to get myself out of it. How can I possibly have thoughts about harming my child? They are the precious gift from God. They’re my flesh and bone how can I?? The anxiety I get every day has turned into having it all day and night, just the thought of How I can could possibly think of such thing, now followed by depression and lack of sleep. I have never had this problem ever up until now. I can’t even watch any crime shows or the news because it spikes my anxiety. I can’t even look at anything like knives, guns because it causes me major distress.

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I am so lost.

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