OCD ruin relationships

I'm sorry. Have you considered marriage counseling?

@Anonymous Yes I have, I have talked about that with him, he has said: "well, maybe, we can try", "yes we do it ", but still he doesn't really want to start. I'm taking psychotherapy, but it's going too slow and to get in touch with my psychologist between sessions (when I get the most problems) uts nearly impossible.

@XPaulina I'm sorry. Has he even read or tried learning anything about OCD?

@XPaulina And I'm sorry about feeling like it is going slow. I feel like my therapy is going slow as well... And having communication problems with such a thing is terrible... Is it possible for you to increase the frequency of your sessions/have sooner sessions? Either way, it does take time as well with therapy, even if you are going weekly. It's something that can't be rushed, you know? So try to take your time, and remember to breathe in the moment.

@XPaulina I am sorry. I can relate to what you are going through. He often is only concerned about the fact that his life has changed (which I understand) vs. how hard it is having OCD and then not having your significant other be there for you through it. It can feel very lonely and upsetting especially because we have been together almost 6 years. I hope your husband will get serious about counseling.

@Anonymous Thank you so much🩷🫂🫶 the kindness I can get over here is a true medicine for my mind and heart. I have increased to twice per week. But as I have stopped therapy at least 2 times my therapist it's a bit auoset about it and stopped caring so much about me. It feels unfair. I understand his position but in the other hand he knows very good my struggle and I'm also paying for his work, so I think he should be more understanding also. All the best for you!

@sigirt3 Thank you so much, for your kindness and understanding. Then your relationship and my marriage have the same length. I understand how hard it must feel for you too, after being in a long term relationship. I agree with you that's exactly how I feel. If my marriage was good as it was before I would have all the strength to fight this away. Thank you for your lovely wishes, I hope your boyfriend will find the patience and understanding necessary to support you and help you out from this.

@sigirt3 You could also consider relationship counseling if you feel that it is fit.

@sigirt3 I also feel in ways like I'm going about this all alone.

@Anonymous Well he "has" but it seems it doesn't really gets trough him. I even have written some serious letters to him, asking him to be understanding, explaining how I feel, explaining what this OCD stuff is like, asking for his support, but no. Nothing seems to work 😔🥺😭😣😓

@XPaulina I'm sorry. It's really hard for anyone to understand; it's a complicated subject. My family tries to understand but they don't get a full grasp on it. Even people who do have OCD don't understand each other's different obsessions and feelings, and they are also able to get upset and bothered by their peers' compulsions

@Anonymous It's absolutely true, I agree with you. It seems it's a whole universe even between the ones that we share the same type of OCD, for instance, I don't think anyone else is having worse compulsions than me, specially when it comes how often I wash my hands just in 1 hour. It's totally insane, I do feel like a freak now and then 😓😭😣 plus my hands look awful and completely destroyed. It's the same here neither my family or husband understands, even if all of them are well educated people it seems it has nothing to do with that either.

@XPaulina It may not feel like anyone has compulsions as bad as you, but some people have it pretty bad -- I wouldn't over-estimate your OCD, or think you to be worse off than others. Maybe you're having a more difficult time than some, but there are others I'm sure who understand the severity you are going through. I felt like I have it pretty bad, and mine is only qualified as moderate OCD!

@Anonymous Thank you so much for such wise and kind words, I appreciate them a lot, it's true, some days feels so heavy I feel so lonely in this battle. And then I feel so miserable to even wast time doing my rituals (like washing hands extremely often) and I feel I'm not being a good mom for my toddler. That makes me feel very defeated, I feel like I'm not a good mom, my husband is so fed up of me all the time therefore I feel like a failure as a woman and wife, then my family puts blames so easily on me then I feel like a bad daughter and sister. Here where I live I don't have any more family than my toddler and my husband, no friends or anything, I have become such a loner. I wasn't used to that when I lived in my country, I had a job, I had people to rely on, relatives close to me, but since I'm here I'm so alone. All of that has hurt me so much over this 6 years, I feel that's a bug reason for me to have OCD. I Hope I could get to now the severity of mine too, I guess I will rate quite high, it scares me a lot.

@XPaulina I would try not to worry about severity. Whatever the severity, the goal is to get better. Whether I had mild, moderate, or severe OCD, the thing that really matters is treatment. I didn't ask my therapist my severity, they just commented to me that that was my severity. I think therapists know that severity isn't the main issue too, and I never hear anybody having to find out their severity -- knowing you have the illness is the most important thing there Try to be gracious with yourself. Love your daughter, and do things out of that love. If you love your daughter, trust me, that is more valuable than you know. And I would say to love everyone in your life, which isn't an easy thing to do when people don't seem to be kind to you. I'm sorry you feel so bad. :( I don't feel like I have friends either. 🤷‍♂️

@Anonymous Dear Anonymous, I'm so grateful for this kind gesture of big support and hope 🙏🏼 🩷. You're right, here the point it's not how severe is, the only thing that matters it's the fact I have it. I think to know the severity will probably male me feel worse and more weird, among other nasty feelings. I WILL absolutely follow your wonderful suggestions about trying to be gracious with myself. And to love my daughter and my other family members, I have indeed been angry and upset they don't understand me as I would like. It's true LOVE does miracles. Well here you can have a friend whenever you need me 🩷🙏🏼 thank you SO MUCH, blessings and all the best for you!

@XPaulina Thank you, and you too :)

What a beautiful response 🥰 I will take the advices for me too, hoping to be able to overcome this and find my way out of all of this even if I can't get the support I need from him. I can truly say to be part of this community here, gives me so much hope and understanding I haven't been a ke to find out there. Thank you so much for sharing. All the best to everyone here.

@XPaulina Thank you. We are in this together❤️

@XPaulina I mean I annoy people by talking too much about my problems. It's probably some sort of compulsion anyway. But I'm so depressed about it, and there are parts that are objectively true about it, but it's still annoying to hear "I'm depressed, God loves others more than me" all the time. I annoy people everywhere with it: on this app, my family, Christian chat services, probably even the 988 crisis line by this point. It feels hard to not talk about my problems, but it's probably harder to hear about my problems.

@Anonymous Hi dear, I'm truly sorry it has been this hard for you. Believe me I understand you 💯%, it's the struggle I have everyday, my husband asks me why can't you stop thinking/talking about your fears, the same with my mom over videocalls, she asks me, why do you waste so much time researching about diseases and focusing so much in being depressed, go out and live, don't waste your life, that's how they see it. I don't say I don't agree with them, but from my point of view or my expensive this hell, it's not that easy. Sadly there's no culture or acceptance, respec, tolerance, empathy and kindness towards people like us who suffers alot from depression, anxiety, OCD, phobias and more. Also the lack of common sense in some people makes them act harsh or careless. I understand you, I know how you feel, you are not alone in this, even when it feels you're like trapped inside a bottle, being able to see the world outside your window trough that glass abd no one can hear you clearly. We are more than you think. And to be here right now and share how you feel it's a very important first steps to understand and overcome. Try to get surrounded by understanding people, if not possible, don't force it, be kid with yourself, get a pet, do things for you. Be kind with yourself 🩷🫂

@Anonymous Is it possible to start seeing one of the OCD therapists here to see if this a compulsion you can work through? I am sorry you are feeling this way. I second @xpaulina in getting a pet if you don’t have one. My little dog cheers me up whenever I am feeling down

@sigirt3 It's true, pets are extraordinary and always happy to have you around specially dogs it's true. Very recommended if you have the possibility and think you can keep it with you as a lifetime friend 😊

@sigirt3 I am seeing a therapist. He said he doesn't think that it is a compulsion inherently, but something's wrong with why I feel worse when I do it and why I do it so much; and besides, either way it is annoying and distressing to those I talk to

@XPaulina Yes I have several pets. I love animals

@Anonymous I wonder if there is another outlet you can use so that way you could still be able to talk about your feelings, but not feel as if you are being “annoying”? Do you think a journal may help?

@sigirt3 I have tried that. But I run into the same problem: confide in someone (or something, in the case of the journal), the get depressed again later. It doesn't ever seem to help

@Anonymous Lucky you!!!! I wish I could have many too, but my husband's literally hates my dog 😔😔

@XPaulina At least you have your dog. That's something to be glad about! I'm sorry to hear he doesn't like your dog though

@Anonymous Thank you so much Dear Anonymous, yes my dog has really been for me in all theses years of suffering from one and many other things. Of course he has also become a nervous dog, he for instance, barks a lot for every small noise, and still now and then pees or poops here inside home, it's not nice, but I accept him like that.