- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m not going to try and give you any reassuring ideas because that will make this so much worse. I have gone through the same thing over and over now because it is more or less a sigh of you overcoming your ocd. Sexual images and being with woman will pop into my head and sometimes I just say what the hell ever, I know that’s not true Jan (the name of my intrusive thoughts no offense to any Jans). But then I’ll get into that loop of thinking oh no I’m not worried enough! This is another thing ocd will do to you. It will make you obsess over the fact you aren’t worried enough. You could think over and over again how this could make you a lesbian, but if you thought over and over again about being a tree would that make you a tree? No it wouldn’t. So my advice is to do your best to just let the thoughts roll by, tell ocd that you’re not being it’s slave again today, tell it that those thoughts don’t bother you. You know the truth and ocd knows the lies. One thing I’ve noticed is I’m not so much bothered about proving ocd I’m right, I already know I’m right. I find that most times I’m trying to prove to myself that I’m wrong and ocd is right, but that’s not right because ocd is wrong.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you all so much! I can’t help but cry now. I’m balling tears, when will this end. Because it just scares me that the thoughts just don’t seem so disgust me anymore. As if I like them. I get scared because I just want them to stop. I just want to be happy again and not worry about this. I hope this is normal to feel. I don’t want to be lesbian. I appreciate all your replies.
- Date posted
- 6y
We all are scared in a lot of moments. This is not a pretty road, but you'll never be alone.
- Date posted
- 6y
I don't want to reassure you, but I think it's pretty common. Sometimes when I'm very tired of hocd, it also happens. I also think you have a panic attack , so please do some breathing exercises, it will really help you. Ali Greymond just uploaded a video about breathing exercises, so please watch that video.
- Date posted
- 6y
If it doesn’t scare you anymore, then it’s just that. It doesn’t mean that you’re becoming a lesbian or revealing that you are one, you’re just getting more used to uncertainty. I know it’s scary but once you become comfortable with what you fear, you get bored and then eventually, the thoughts don’t have power over you anymore. Although you are straight or want to be, the goal isn’t to be straight necessarily, but be comfortable with uncertainty. I hope this helped
- Date posted
- 6y
Saaaaame. Nine months on this shit and still have the pop ups of women in my head. This is like a virus.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you, I hope you all get well soon. This is a pain.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 19w
hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd
- Date posted
- 15w
Last night I took my meds to help me sleep and I kept waking up throughout the night with thoughts like “I’m really a lesbian now” or “I’m ok with it now, this is what I prefer”. I really feel like everyday for a couple of days now, I’ve woken up feeling more and more like my preferences have completely changed. The first few days was major anxiety, panic attacks, then I had a really bad double-bind and reversal spiral, and I became a little bit calmer since then. Now I feel like I’m managing the thoughts without anxiety or panic like I’m used to, but now it feels like I really want them and that I’m ok with it. Like I don’t care anymore. But the thing is, in between all of the mini spiral episodes I’ve had, I had these little moments of clarity like “I’m not giving up on my fantasies of men” or “I’ve always wanted men, that doesn’t just change”. But last night I’ve had really sexual dreams that I’m having trouble interpreting. I had one where I think it was me sleeping with a guy, but I woke up frantically because I think the roles got reversed, but I’m not sure. Another one I was a random woman with a husband, but I think the roles got reversed again so I woke up immediately. Both times it felt like arousal. Obviously I still care somewhat if I’m still here asking, but my brain or maybe me (I’m really not sure anymore) is telling me that I’m a lesbian now and I prefer it. It’s like I don’t care and want it now. It’s like I’m not even feeling confusion about it. I don’t know if it’s because of the meds, I’ve been distracted (family in town), because I’m in maybe quieter stages after two bad spiral episodes, or because I’ve really changed. It’s literally like I think being a lesbian will be enjoyable now but I don’t want that, even if my brain (and body apparently) keeps telling me that. I was told that ocd doesn’t change who you are, but now I’m worried that what I thought was background noise leading up to another spiral was suppressed self discovery (I’ve had two major soocd episodes in my life: late high school and now a few years later).
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