- Username
- Idk
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I’m not going to try and give you any reassuring ideas because that will make this so much worse. I have gone through the same thing over and over now because it is more or less a sigh of you overcoming your ocd. Sexual images and being with woman will pop into my head and sometimes I just say what the hell ever, I know that’s not true Jan (the name of my intrusive thoughts no offense to any Jans). But then I’ll get into that loop of thinking oh no I’m not worried enough! This is another thing ocd will do to you. It will make you obsess over the fact you aren’t worried enough. You could think over and over again how this could make you a lesbian, but if you thought over and over again about being a tree would that make you a tree? No it wouldn’t. So my advice is to do your best to just let the thoughts roll by, tell ocd that you’re not being it’s slave again today, tell it that those thoughts don’t bother you. You know the truth and ocd knows the lies. One thing I’ve noticed is I’m not so much bothered about proving ocd I’m right, I already know I’m right. I find that most times I’m trying to prove to myself that I’m wrong and ocd is right, but that’s not right because ocd is wrong.
Thank you all so much! I can’t help but cry now. I’m balling tears, when will this end. Because it just scares me that the thoughts just don’t seem so disgust me anymore. As if I like them. I get scared because I just want them to stop. I just want to be happy again and not worry about this. I hope this is normal to feel. I don’t want to be lesbian. I appreciate all your replies.
We all are scared in a lot of moments. This is not a pretty road, but you'll never be alone.
I don't want to reassure you, but I think it's pretty common. Sometimes when I'm very tired of hocd, it also happens. I also think you have a panic attack , so please do some breathing exercises, it will really help you. Ali Greymond just uploaded a video about breathing exercises, so please watch that video.
If it doesn’t scare you anymore, then it’s just that. It doesn’t mean that you’re becoming a lesbian or revealing that you are one, you’re just getting more used to uncertainty. I know it’s scary but once you become comfortable with what you fear, you get bored and then eventually, the thoughts don’t have power over you anymore. Although you are straight or want to be, the goal isn’t to be straight necessarily, but be comfortable with uncertainty. I hope this helped
Saaaaame. Nine months on this shit and still have the pop ups of women in my head. This is like a virus.
Thank you, I hope you all get well soon. This is a pain.
My anxiety is pretty much gone...the thoughts are not...here’s the thoughts I’m having... -it’s not hocd this time, it’s the real thing -omg you’re attracted to your friend you’ve known for 18 years and you’re just now realizing it -when you see your boyfriend you’re gonna realize you don’t love him because you’re a lesbian -then I get intrusive thoughts about kissing girls...over and over and over again The hardest part is that the anxiety is gone so I don’t know if these are real thoughts...what if they are? What if I’m lying to myself? What if every boy I have ever fallen for in the past was just a cover? What if one day I’ll wake up and decide that men just don’t do it for me anymore? But I love them. I always have. The broad shoulders, the big arms, the height, the scent, the feeling of a boner on my butt while we spoon (so sorry tmi moment), I’ve loved them since I was 3! What the hell happened?
This is ridiculous, now I feel like I’m truly questioning my sexuality. I’m 15. Never had a crush on a girl, don’t think I have. Touched myself to lesbian porn mostly, turned on by sexual images of women but still I never questioned what I felt for boys. I knew I would crush on them, I knew they were feelings. If anything maybe I could be bisexual. But still that doesn’t seem right. I’m just completely lost. Maybe I’m just thinking to much. It shouldn’t be this hard right? I read bisexual people immediately knew. Most of them I think, they realized all their crushes and Fantasies they wanted in real life. I never fantasized about a women, or any girl. I remember crushing on a senior once, I felt excited to see him at school. And fantasized about him. And with my Boyfriend he was just so innocent, and cute and sweet, and when we do sexual stuff I like it. I get uhm .. wet. Sorryyy. I recently got advice to look out for any girl crushes. And I’m really scared about that now. Maybe I can crush on a girl and maybe I can’t. I don’t know anymore. I feel completely unsure of everything. Im not sure if I’m straight or not. I recently started to take quizzes again. I either got straight or bisexual. And idk can anyone give advice? Thanks for reading through all of this if you did.
I feel like a lesbian. I feel bisexual. I feel like that’s what I want. It feels like I like the thoughts. I feel like I have to leave my boyfriend. I don’t want to lose him, but it feels like I need to leave him. I feel sick. I feel like I’m hiding it from myself and using ocd as a coverup. I don’t want to be one of those woman who find out they’re lesbians later than life. I’m afraid of being one of those woman who convince themselves they can be into men when they can’t. What if that’s me? What if I never enjoy sex with my boyfriend? I don’t enjoy it now, because every time I try to enjoy I get thoughts like, “you want him to be a woman. You’re not attracted to him. You’re not attracted to men. You need to leave him for a woman. You would enjoy sex with a woman.” I don’t want that to be true, but it feels like it secretly is. Am I denying my true sexuality? Is me thinking I have ocd just a coverup?? There’s a lot of proof for me being a lesbian that constantly haunts me. For example, I used to watch lesbian porn. But the thing that really bothers me is that I (TMI) masturbated to a picture of two cartoon characters as lesbians, videos of woman twerking, and music videos of woman. I don’t know why I did those things. It makes me feel like I would like having sex with a woman, because I liked seeing their bodies in porn and masturbated to it. I want to be with my boyfriend. I don’t want to leave, I don’t want to lead him on. But I can’t be happy around him, because sometimes he will cause these thoughts and memories to arise. I keep seeing lesbians on tik tok and i feel like I want to be with them. I keep thing about my boyfriend and marrying him, then I get the thought, “you don’t want to be with him, you want a wife when you’re older.” I also don’t want to be homophobic. I’m afraid of that. I’m supportive of the lgbtq community, but it doesn’t feel natural for me. The thought of ME specifically being lesbian or bi doesn’t make sense to me. Or at least didn’t. Now I feel like I want it :(
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