I can't tell what's real anymore

I was recently diagnosed with OCD a little over a month ago, but I've had the symptoms as long as I can remember. Currently struggling with really bad health anxiety, and I'm absolutely convinced I have cancer. I've had a host of odd symptoms, I've seen every specialist in the book and nothing regarding cancer has come up. But I've had a hoarse voice for about a month now, and ended up scheduling ENT appointment. It's so hard to focus at work because I'm so sure I'm going to die. But I've been so sure every other time. I just don't know if my symptoms are real or not. I physically can see and feel differences but nothing comes up. Does anyone else struggle with this? I'm still waiting for my first ERP appointment.

Username: NervousNomadNervousNomad

Date posted: 1y ago

One thing I've done over the past few months was write a list of Diagnoses I was sure I had, and wrote them on a scale of 1 to 10 how certain I was I had them. And since April I have 27 diagnoses that were all not the case. So this is not number 28, which has me wondering are my concerns valid or is this my OCD? I hate reading all of those posts about people who were dismissed and then found out later they were actually sick... I just don't know how to handle myself today.

Username: kgoldy kgoldy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

i struggle highly with all this. currently in the process of running more and more tests to figure out what’s going on with my stomach I get random pains and I have been getting random pains for years now. so far all the tests happen clear and it seems to just be linked with nervousness, and when i get stressed i get tummy pain. but because i’m not sure whenever i get nervous, this pain I have arises and i on it and convince myself that I have cancer.. I also have had a horse voice for months now now to which also contributes to that feeling I hope your fix it and it consumes me. I relate to this a lot. it’s hard to not fixate when u haven’t gotten all the answers yet and ur having physical symptoms so it’s like OCD mixed with real things and it’s chaos

Username: NervousNomadNervousNomad

Date posted: 1y ago

Thank you for responding, and I feel a little better knowing someone understands how I feel. I'm trying to get on board with accepting this is all OCD, but I work as a registered nurse and my experiences have made this all so awful. So it's easy for me to see rare conditions as "the norm". But so far I have been wrong with myself. It's funny of the few things that did come out abnormal, they've gotten much better and I recently had blood work last week that came out all good. I have no idea why I can't just accept something MAY be going on, but it doesn't mean it's CANCER. My ultimate fear is I'll be "tricked" into accepting its OCD but then I really should've gotten like a 3rd or 4th opinion because something actually is wrong.... I hope everything works out for the both of us!

Username: kgoldy kgoldy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Oh wow. yeah i can see how having been a nurse makes it all much more tough considering what you’ve seen / experienced! constant health issues with people that you’re around. mThe difficult thing with OCD / physical health, (as my therapist tells me) is that obviously if there is physical symptoms that ur having it’s important to go get yourself checked out by the doctor but ultimately got to try to not let OCD consume you, and by that you got to try to not fixate on it because regardless, whether you have some thing or not uncertainty is just a part of life.. and you can only do what you can do. and feeding into the fears and constantly fixating on things is only going to enable your OCD you know? and it’s easier said than done obviously definitely feel you on being tricked into it being ocd, and when you said that you it’s hard to accept that it may be something that’s not cancer. i feel that, so much haha when there’s physical health symptoms it’s obviously important to check and run tests, but just do what u can and like let that be enough. ( also easier said than done i know lol) also thank you for sharing my OCD has spiked recently due to a lot of stress and it’s been a while since I came on this app and your post was one of the first posts I saw , and felt a sense of relief from knowing that I am not alone i hope the same for us both 🙏🏼

Username: TomFromHomeTomFromHome

Date posted: 1y ago

Yes I've had my fights with health anxiety (health related OCD). For a while it was really bad regarding my heart. I've had every test, saw a cardiologist but nothing was wrong. But why all the chest pain, heart palpitations, high blood pressure, high pulse...?? Anxiety will do that to you. It can simulate every symptom under the sun. And the "funny" thing is, if you don't accept it as OCD and anxiety, you go from doctor to doctor, get all your tests and finally you get over the worries... the next "disease" will be just around the corner. Or in my case OCD also switched to completely different themes. I remember as I got out of my heart scares, I suddenly was affraid I was attracted to the other gender...

Username: NervousNomadNervousNomad

Date posted: 1y ago

Yes it makes me feel crazy, and I feel the need to make follow up appointments, but I feel silly every time I show up because I'm starting to see my patterns. They feel so real to me and I'm so convinced. The voice hoarseness that I made my ENT appointment for went away. But now I'm certain I'm going to have a stroke. I appreciate you commenting, glad it's not just me. That's really helpful to know.

Username: TomFromHomeTomFromHome

Date posted: 1y ago

@Anonymous - There are a lot of people struggeling with this... I also had a few times when I thought I was having a stroke. If you are relatively new to this, look up people like Trey Jones or Sherille Thinks on youtube, they both went through this and offer a ton of insight and help.

Username: bellabean

Date posted: 4y ago

I’m so afraid of getting cancer. I’ve been to the doctor so many times for false alarms, it’s starting to cost so much money. I hate this subtype of OCD. I’m hyper-focused on small pains in my body and I always make them out to be much more than they are. Literally the past few days I had a pressure headache and I was convinced it was brain cancer. This is ridiculous. I don’t know where to begin with ERP for this type of OCD. My compulsion is going to the doctor and that’s becoming a very expensive compulsion... My other compulsion is googling my symptoms, which always freaks me out cause every symptom means “cancer” according to google.

Username: juliarenee11

Date posted: 1y ago

Severe health ocd

I’ve struggled with health anxiety for about 11 years, and it’s been horrible the last 3 years. Health related stuff wasn’t my first theme though. It started out with contamination OCD and magical thinking, and then I was diagnosed in 2015 after being hospitalized. Throughout the last 5 years or so, I’ve been hospitalized a few times for debilitating health anxiety OCD, been on countless meds and struggled to find an OCD specialist. I just want this nightmare to be over. I’ve been convinced of having breast cancer, lymphoma, bladder cancer, brain tumors, ovarian cancer, skin cancer, cervical cancer, and many other health issues. I’ve been to the doctors multiple times, I’ve demanded tests, I’ve compulsively gone to the ER and urgent care to “check” for reassurance, I’ve been convinced that doctors aren’t looking good enough or are lying to me. I do a lot of body scanning, and reading and rereading doctors note for reassurance. I also call the doctors office a lot. Again, I just need this to end but I don’t know what to do because I am so burned out.

Username: emilytravels...

Date posted: 48w ago

In a vicious health OCD cycle 😭

I cannot seem to stop the cycle and I’m questioning how much longer I can manage like this. I keep having a symptom, or so I think. It’s not super consistent, and when I’ve gone to the doctor to explain it, I feel like a crazy person. Its sharpish, tingling pains in my stomach that do seem to be more present when I’m stressing and hyper fixating on them. But sometimes just pop up on their own. I won’t notice it for a few days, and then I’ll feel a twinge in my stomach and absolutely have a freak out over it thinking it’s some stage 4 something. I’ve stopped wearing certain clothes and working out because I’m afraid of “triggering” it. I feel like I can’t even distinguish between what’s real and what’s not anymore. How will I ever know when to actually go to the doctor for something if i don’t know that what I’m feeling is even real? Has this happened to anyone else?

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I can't tell what's real anymore

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