Does anyone feel like this isn’t rOCD and they’re just obsessing over OCD in the hope that it is when in fact it’s not? I can’t think about anything else other than this being the end of my relationship.

More than enough if it wasn’t U wouldn’t question it so much keep fighting ur stronger than u realise

Thank you @gavsherry. Your comments do genuinely really help me think more rationally

I feel the exact same way as you Shan. I’m only 24 but I constantly worry that I don’t know what being in love is and that I’m wasting my 20’s with the wrong person and that I’m just in denial that he’s not right for me so blaming it on ROCD. My boyfriend sounds the same as yours in that he’s on paper absolutely perfect and treats me so well that it’s frustrating to ever have doubts

I’ve been the exact same way for last 3 months but now I can feel it’s lifting obviously having the thoughts and doubts but there less important than they were before and I’m finally getting some happiness back it’s hard work but only u can do it u need to do exactly the opposite of what ocd is telling u to do

Do you think wanting it to work is enough?

Glad it’s helping in some way I no exactly how U feel it’s like hell on earth and the more u want the less it happens I used an old Bruce lee motto but put my one twist to it he says don’t think .. feel ... well mines don’t think or feel just do and the thoughts and feelings seem to become less Debilitating over time can I ask are u scared of it not working with ur partner

The 4 most significant relationships I can think of in my past (don’t judge haha) I ended two because I was unhappy- I did get these feelings but could find some reason or another it was right to end the relationship. The other 2 I was treated quite badly (not physical abuse but emotional, game playing etc). I felt very guilty ending those relationships but knew I had to (& I’m friends with them both) and the other 2 I was really gutted about (in hindsight I know I deserve better now) does that make sense?

And I’m so tired haha. And I think my boyfriend must be too.

I won’t judge lol ... yes it’s makes sense my ex wife abused me mentally and Physically for 6 years or so I stayed for my kids and finally outed her my current partner is the complete opposite and I now know what a quality relationship is my therapist says my mind has gotten that used to trauma over my past relationship and losing my dad that the ocd is basically saying there is something wrong because there isn’t anything wrong if u know what I mean .... I also have full custody of my kids .... u said past relationships there was emotional games and abuse but now there isn’t with ur current boyfriend ?? Could be a starting point to focus on the good u have now and the bad u left behind

Oh wow I’m really sorry to hear that. I think more needs to be done for men and abusive relationships- it seems to not be taken so seriously. But it sounds as if you’ve really turned your life around, which is amazing! And the fact you’ve got full custody of your children says a lot too. You should be so proud of yourself. And nothing at all. I’ve got no doubts about his faithfulness, he doesn’t use me for anything. It’s weird because I don’t feel as if my past relationships are holding me back but maybe they are? Is it odd to not be concerned about the relationship ending? I can think about that rationally, I don’t want it to but if it does, it’ll be ok. I just feel like a lot of people with rOCD fear the relationship ending but I don’t. Like I said, I’d prefer it didn’t but my world wouldn’t end if it did.

The key there is that u know u will be ok if it did so u ur at peace with that BUT. As u say u don’t want it to so don’t let it just go with it if ur partner asks for a hug and u get a feeling u don’t want to just do it my way etc it’s basically ERP IMO

Okay I’ll definitely try that. Thank you

I’m 24 too!Haha. I don’t worry about wasting my time with the wrong person, I don’t really look anyone else. But it’s constantly questions or ‘you don’t love him’ etc. It’s super tough! I guess because I don’t have an official OCD diagnosis I’m struggling that little bit more to accept it as OCD

Relationships takes work and effort and that is a choice and it’s ur choice if I choose to stay and give it ur all or u choose to walk away with the choice is urs don’t think if it is or not rocd the pint is ur suffering but trust me it will pass I’m talking from experience

I really want to make this work. I really want to love him. This keeps happening to me in relationships and I don’t understand why. I’ve always ended it before now as I’ve always had a reason but now I don’t- he treats me so well. I just feel like feeling like this- it must be a sign that something isn’t right? I don’t think about anything else- this is constantly on my mind.

That’s a great plan. I’m okay with accepting the relationship might not work out for ever and I know I’d be ok if we did finish but this keeps happening to me. He’s a really great guy & there is nothing wrong in the relationship so I can’t understand why this happens. Does that make sense?

It does the reason I asked was that if u can remember anything in ur past where u split with an ex boyfriend etc that u really didn’t care about I’m guessing I wouldn’t have the feelings u have now my main obsession was that because I can’t feel love at that moment I must not love her where as in reality feelings come and go it’s the effort I put into the relationship that really makes it work ur obviously stressing urself out to the point of complete exhaustion so that in my unprofessional opinion says I actually do love the person but ocd is putting up its barriers