Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Does anyone feel like this isn’t rOCD and they’re just obsessing over OCD in the hope that it is when in fact it’s not? I can’t think about anything else other than this being the end of my relationship.

Relationship OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

More than enough if it wasn’t U wouldn’t question it so much keep fighting ur stronger than u realise

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Thank you @gavsherry. Your comments do genuinely really help me think more rationally

laurave

Date posted: 5y

I feel the exact same way as you Shan. I’m only 24 but I constantly worry that I don’t know what being in love is and that I’m wasting my 20’s with the wrong person and that I’m just in denial that he’s not right for me so blaming it on ROCD. My boyfriend sounds the same as yours in that he’s on paper absolutely perfect and treats me so well that it’s frustrating to ever have doubts

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

I’ve been the exact same way for last 3 months but now I can feel it’s lifting obviously having the thoughts and doubts but there less important than they were before and I’m finally getting some happiness back it’s hard work but only u can do it u need to do exactly the opposite of what ocd is telling u to do

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Do you think wanting it to work is enough?

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Glad it’s helping in some way I no exactly how U feel it’s like hell on earth and the more u want the less it happens I used an old Bruce lee motto but put my one twist to it he says don’t think .. feel ... well mines don’t think or feel just do and the thoughts and feelings seem to become less Debilitating over time can I ask are u scared of it not working with ur partner

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

The 4 most significant relationships I can think of in my past (don’t judge haha) I ended two because I was unhappy- I did get these feelings but could find some reason or another it was right to end the relationship. The other 2 I was treated quite badly (not physical abuse but emotional, game playing etc). I felt very guilty ending those relationships but knew I had to (& I’m friends with them both) and the other 2 I was really gutted about (in hindsight I know I deserve better now) does that make sense?

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

And I’m so tired haha. And I think my boyfriend must be too.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

I won’t judge lol ... yes it’s makes sense my ex wife abused me mentally and Physically for 6 years or so I stayed for my kids and finally outed her my current partner is the complete opposite and I now know what a quality relationship is my therapist says my mind has gotten that used to trauma over my past relationship and losing my dad that the ocd is basically saying there is something wrong because there isn’t anything wrong if u know what I mean .... I also have full custody of my kids .... u said past relationships there was emotional games and abuse but now there isn’t with ur current boyfriend ?? Could be a starting point to focus on the good u have now and the bad u left behind

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Oh wow I’m really sorry to hear that. I think more needs to be done for men and abusive relationships- it seems to not be taken so seriously. But it sounds as if you’ve really turned your life around, which is amazing! And the fact you’ve got full custody of your children says a lot too. You should be so proud of yourself. And nothing at all. I’ve got no doubts about his faithfulness, he doesn’t use me for anything. It’s weird because I don’t feel as if my past relationships are holding me back but maybe they are? Is it odd to not be concerned about the relationship ending? I can think about that rationally, I don’t want it to but if it does, it’ll be ok. I just feel like a lot of people with rOCD fear the relationship ending but I don’t. Like I said, I’d prefer it didn’t but my world wouldn’t end if it did.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

The key there is that u know u will be ok if it did so u ur at peace with that BUT. As u say u don’t want it to so don’t let it just go with it if ur partner asks for a hug and u get a feeling u don’t want to just do it my way etc it’s basically ERP IMO

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Okay I’ll definitely try that. Thank you

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

I’m 24 too!Haha. I don’t worry about wasting my time with the wrong person, I don’t really look anyone else. But it’s constantly questions or ‘you don’t love him’ etc. It’s super tough! I guess because I don’t have an official OCD diagnosis I’m struggling that little bit more to accept it as OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Relationships takes work and effort and that is a choice and it’s ur choice if I choose to stay and give it ur all or u choose to walk away with the choice is urs don’t think if it is or not rocd the pint is ur suffering but trust me it will pass I’m talking from experience

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

I really want to make this work. I really want to love him. This keeps happening to me in relationships and I don’t understand why. I’ve always ended it before now as I’ve always had a reason but now I don’t- he treats me so well. I just feel like feeling like this- it must be a sign that something isn’t right? I don’t think about anything else- this is constantly on my mind.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

That’s a great plan. I’m okay with accepting the relationship might not work out for ever and I know I’d be ok if we did finish but this keeps happening to me. He’s a really great guy & there is nothing wrong in the relationship so I can’t understand why this happens. Does that make sense?

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

It does the reason I asked was that if u can remember anything in ur past where u split with an ex boyfriend etc that u really didn’t care about I’m guessing I wouldn’t have the feelings u have now my main obsession was that because I can’t feel love at that moment I must not love her where as in reality feelings come and go it’s the effort I put into the relationship that really makes it work ur obviously stressing urself out to the point of complete exhaustion so that in my unprofessional opinion says I actually do love the person but ocd is putting up its barriers

Mk3

Date posted: 15w

ROCD

Sometimes I think I truly think negative thoughts about my bf but I feel it could be because of how obsessive I am over the thought. Does that make any sense ??? Like I genuinely think it often but only because of how obsessed I am over it

Mariabae

Date posted: 12w

please, i need someones help. sorry for long post

Hi everyone. I’m really struggling and I need to let it all out. I’ve been dealing with ROCD (or what I think is ROCD) for a long time, and I feel like I’m at my breaking point. I’m in a loving relationship with a boyfriend who is kind, understanding, and patient. But ever since I started reading a lot online, googling symptoms, talking to AI like ChatGPT, searching for reassurance, things have gotten worse and worse. And now… I feel completely disconnected from my feelings. I don’t know what’s real anymore. My boyfriend told me that he believes I’ve convinced myself that I have something that needs to be treated, and that all this constant researching is making me feel worse. And honestly, I think he’s right. Before I fell into this cycle, I could be more intimate with him. I used to say “I love you,” I used to feel warmth. Now I don’t say it anymore. I haven’t in a long time. And it hurts him. And I know I’m hurting him, and that makes it even worse. He also said that maybe I’m having these obsessive thoughts because I don’t have a daily purpose, that I need to get occupied, to stop being consumed by this. And others in my life have told me the same. He even suggested taking a break from each other for a week, just to give me space. But I’m terrified of that. I’m scared that the thing I fear most will become “the truth.” I’m scared I’ll feel relief, and that will mean everything I fear is real. But he told me that if I don’t want the break, maybe it means I still care. Still love. Still want this. The problem is, I don’t know anymore. And that’s what’s killing me. I’ve also had a psychologist who told me that just because I feel guilt or “care,” it doesn’t necessarily mean I like him — and that sent me spiraling. She said that maybe I care about people in general, but it doesn’t mean I love him. And it made me feel like I’m just lying to myself. That maybe I’m holding on out of obligation, or because I set in my head that I “have to be with him.” And even when he tells me beautiful things — logical things — things that SHOULD make me feel safe and seen… I don’t feel better. I just feel more empty. And then I start spiraling again: “If this doesn’t help me feel better, then something must be wrong.” “What if I’m just pretending?” “What if I’ve been lying to myself all along?” I feel like there’s something wrong inside of me. Like no matter what anyone says, or how much love I’m given, I can’t feel it. I just want to know what to do. I want someone to tell me what this is. I want to stop feeling like I’m running after a version of myself that used to feel, used to love, used to be calm. I don’t know if this is ROCD or if I’m just slowly facing a truth I’ve been afraid to accept. Please, if anyone has felt this way, I need to hear that I’m not alone. And if you’ve come out the other side… how? My relationship is perfect and he is perfect, i just deal with this and i am far from happy.

user36373738

Date posted: 10w

Has anyone ever felt like this I’m freaking out

I have had ocd in my relationship for a while now. When I originally met him it was like this insane spiritual soulmate feeling and we just clicked instantly and he never judged me. I’m scared cause when I picture breaking up with my boyfriend I see myself being ok and being sad but moving on which I never was able to see before doesn’t this mean that this is what would happen or I don’t know till it happens? I still can’t imagine what life would be like without him but I just feel like I have lost feelings that I never wanted to lose. plus that’s also when I just picture knowing how people move on and how I’d just have to move on without letting myself picture processing the losses of all. I’m just really scared cause I used to think of wanting other things in someone else and what it would be like but I just thought how nice it would be to have it and not actually meaning it bc every time I thought about it I got upset and now it feels diff. He knows I have ocd but I never explained the ROCD because I thought it would have offended him so every time I went through a flare up I never told and acted like I was fine and it kept happening and OCD kept getting worse and worse. Maybe that’s part of the issue cause I haven’t been feeling like myself. But this is a feeling I never wanted to feel ever with him. I have gone through the feeling of numb but not like this. And he has a lot of positives but I can only see him overall as negatives and I’ve been told that’s ocd but it’s affecting how I feel. And yes there are legit actual things in the relationship that upset me but ocd has been affecting the way I look at him also. I keep being told my judgment is being impaired but this time it rly feels like not. And I’m Scared why don’t memories and things affect me like it used to doesn’t that mean I want this. Has anyone experienced this or is this the end 😭

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Does anyone feel like this isn’t rOCD and they’re just obsessing over OCD in the hope that it is when in fact it’s not? I can’t think about anything else other than this being the end of my relationship.

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