- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
More than enough if it wasn’t U wouldn’t question it so much keep fighting ur stronger than u realise
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you @gavsherry. Your comments do genuinely really help me think more rationally
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel the exact same way as you Shan. I’m only 24 but I constantly worry that I don’t know what being in love is and that I’m wasting my 20’s with the wrong person and that I’m just in denial that he’s not right for me so blaming it on ROCD. My boyfriend sounds the same as yours in that he’s on paper absolutely perfect and treats me so well that it’s frustrating to ever have doubts
- Date posted
- 5y
I’ve been the exact same way for last 3 months but now I can feel it’s lifting obviously having the thoughts and doubts but there less important than they were before and I’m finally getting some happiness back it’s hard work but only u can do it u need to do exactly the opposite of what ocd is telling u to do
- Date posted
- 5y
Do you think wanting it to work is enough?
- Date posted
- 5y
Glad it’s helping in some way I no exactly how U feel it’s like hell on earth and the more u want the less it happens I used an old Bruce lee motto but put my one twist to it he says don’t think .. feel ... well mines don’t think or feel just do and the thoughts and feelings seem to become less Debilitating over time can I ask are u scared of it not working with ur partner
- Date posted
- 5y
The 4 most significant relationships I can think of in my past (don’t judge haha) I ended two because I was unhappy- I did get these feelings but could find some reason or another it was right to end the relationship. The other 2 I was treated quite badly (not physical abuse but emotional, game playing etc). I felt very guilty ending those relationships but knew I had to (& I’m friends with them both) and the other 2 I was really gutted about (in hindsight I know I deserve better now) does that make sense?
- Date posted
- 5y
And I’m so tired haha. And I think my boyfriend must be too.
- Date posted
- 5y
I won’t judge lol ... yes it’s makes sense my ex wife abused me mentally and Physically for 6 years or so I stayed for my kids and finally outed her my current partner is the complete opposite and I now know what a quality relationship is my therapist says my mind has gotten that used to trauma over my past relationship and losing my dad that the ocd is basically saying there is something wrong because there isn’t anything wrong if u know what I mean .... I also have full custody of my kids .... u said past relationships there was emotional games and abuse but now there isn’t with ur current boyfriend ?? Could be a starting point to focus on the good u have now and the bad u left behind
- Date posted
- 5y
Oh wow I’m really sorry to hear that. I think more needs to be done for men and abusive relationships- it seems to not be taken so seriously. But it sounds as if you’ve really turned your life around, which is amazing! And the fact you’ve got full custody of your children says a lot too. You should be so proud of yourself. And nothing at all. I’ve got no doubts about his faithfulness, he doesn’t use me for anything. It’s weird because I don’t feel as if my past relationships are holding me back but maybe they are? Is it odd to not be concerned about the relationship ending? I can think about that rationally, I don’t want it to but if it does, it’ll be ok. I just feel like a lot of people with rOCD fear the relationship ending but I don’t. Like I said, I’d prefer it didn’t but my world wouldn’t end if it did.
- Date posted
- 5y
The key there is that u know u will be ok if it did so u ur at peace with that BUT. As u say u don’t want it to so don’t let it just go with it if ur partner asks for a hug and u get a feeling u don’t want to just do it my way etc it’s basically ERP IMO
- Date posted
- 5y
Okay I’ll definitely try that. Thank you
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m 24 too!Haha. I don’t worry about wasting my time with the wrong person, I don’t really look anyone else. But it’s constantly questions or ‘you don’t love him’ etc. It’s super tough! I guess because I don’t have an official OCD diagnosis I’m struggling that little bit more to accept it as OCD
- Date posted
- 5y
Relationships takes work and effort and that is a choice and it’s ur choice if I choose to stay and give it ur all or u choose to walk away with the choice is urs don’t think if it is or not rocd the pint is ur suffering but trust me it will pass I’m talking from experience
- Date posted
- 5y
I really want to make this work. I really want to love him. This keeps happening to me in relationships and I don’t understand why. I’ve always ended it before now as I’ve always had a reason but now I don’t- he treats me so well. I just feel like feeling like this- it must be a sign that something isn’t right? I don’t think about anything else- this is constantly on my mind.
- Date posted
- 5y
That’s a great plan. I’m okay with accepting the relationship might not work out for ever and I know I’d be ok if we did finish but this keeps happening to me. He’s a really great guy & there is nothing wrong in the relationship so I can’t understand why this happens. Does that make sense?
- Date posted
- 5y
It does the reason I asked was that if u can remember anything in ur past where u split with an ex boyfriend etc that u really didn’t care about I’m guessing I wouldn’t have the feelings u have now my main obsession was that because I can’t feel love at that moment I must not love her where as in reality feelings come and go it’s the effort I put into the relationship that really makes it work ur obviously stressing urself out to the point of complete exhaustion so that in my unprofessional opinion says I actually do love the person but ocd is putting up its barriers
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 23w
no clue if this is compulsive, but I’m interested to hear any obsessions others have that aren’t the “common” ones you see online about what ROCD is? a few for me: - thoughts about their partner being with someone else instead (sometimes a specific person) and then trying to analyze your reaction to it? e.g. does it *feel* more right than us, do I actually feel happy for them, etc. - trying to imagine your partner in your current situation or maybe a specific future situation (when they’re not around) and trying to decide if they “fit” in it? - being super scared of losing them, then suddenly feeling like you don’t care much for them at all, and just constantly cycling? - I almost never fully enjoyed sex because I was constantly obsessing about whether or not I was turned on, turned on “enough,” if I was just having groinal responses and wasn’t actually turned on, looking at his face just to decide if I find him attractive enough, comparing my experience with how I feel watching content alone, etc.
- Date posted
- 14w
My psychologist tells me because my thoughts are based off of facts/ broken boundaries which is why I am having thoughts of am i in love , am I settling , and feeling guilty I should let him go to find someone who wouldn’t doubt him that I do not have rocd. She states rocd is intrusive , irrational thoughts not based off of real facts and I may have ptsd not ocd. He kissed someone else before we were official and he finds a certain type of female attractive that I find disgusting . So I spin about these issues all day long to the point I’m so unhappy with him and had to break up . It’s been over a month now but I’m still severely anxious and depressed The thing is I can’t stop thinking about this 24/7 with severe anxiety and depression and nothing is helping me . Can someone please tell me their thoughts
- Date posted
- 10w
me and my girlfriend since we started dating we be only had one problem, and that is my fear of everything of losing her of her cheating, and it’s all caused by OCD. my texts are massive and i get worried i know i love her and she makes me calm i know i love her. we had a conversation yesterday and basically she said that she feels suffocated with my texts and my fears. she went on trip were she doesn’t have her phone. and yesterday i spent the entire day crying about her. my head is filled with intrusive thoughts. and last night i got so stressed that it seemed like the love went away or i couldn’t remember the love, but it’s impossible because i was crying about her yesterday. this struggle my relationship is having is making me so stressed. pls give me advice
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