Hey everyone. I’ve been doing okay today. But I’ve been on twitter today and I don’t know if anyone has seen this but there’s a lot of people that speculate Shawn Mendes suffers from SOOCD. So I started reading about it and there’s a lot of people just laughing about it or saying he’s homophobic or closeted and it’s really stressing me out. I know I’ve said it a million times but it feels too real to be a ‘mental disorder’. How on earth can this be OCD and not just a sexual identity crisis?

so i was on instagram and it came up with other signs of ocd then someone commented this doesn’t mean you have ocd now im stressed that its not ocd background - i had so-ocd for a few years then got treatment for it but am now on the waiting list for further treatment for other stuff but i dont have another theme which makes me feel like its not ocd my day to day life consists of touching the door handle every time you go past it or someone will die, and inability to send emails without re reading loads of times and getting other people to check because im scared i wrote something bad but the what if it’s not ocd thought is triggering me now and i don’t know what do

I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?

I told a few people on social media about my OCD, including POCD and how distressing it is. But everyone went quiet, then a few hours later I posted that I don’t support pedophilia at all neither do I justify it or am a pedo. Then someone replied with: “I think someone might take it bc u have such an obsessive fear of it u might have actual p3 do philic tendencies” I can’t do this anymore, I’m terrified to spiral again like a few months ago but I’m on the brink of doing it again. I’m shaking and stressing tf out I hate this so so so so so much