It’s so confusing when I hear lesbians say how they used to force themselves into having crushes on guys. What does that even mean?

It’s called compulsive heterosexuality!! A lot of LGB people tend to go through it for many reasons: denial of ones sexuality is one of the biggest ones. Having said that, @Ocdsufferer123 that doesn’t necessarily mean this applies to you!! Humans naturally read things and think “oh shit, is this me?” Without it really being so!

Compulsive heterosexuality is usually done willingly, either as a result of internalized homophobia or because the person hadn’t come to terms with their identity yet. I think in the case of OCD it’s followed with compulsive behaviour which compulsive heterosexuality usually doesn’t have- so someone with HOCD would check various articles to see if they’re straight or not, or get reassurance that they’re straight.

Literally me

What’s the difference between compulsive heterosexuality and ocd?

The thing is that I’ve been through both instances as a bisexual woman. When I was in complete denial I would boast about every single Male crush in order to prove to myself and others that I was straight. The thing is that I did genuinely like those guys, I just felt the need to blow my attraction out of proportion. Because of that, now I’m wondering if those crushes were fake from the beginning and if I’ve been using being bi as a stepping stone with realising it :/

From one bi person to another; it’s fine if you find out they are. In the end, they aren’t “fake”, this was just you learning who you are! Not to mention we have these bouts of fear sometimes you know?

Ya :// a lot of my bi friends complain about it too because everyone is so eager to box us. Its the uncertainty that really makes me anxious, because when it comes down do it, I don’t think I’d really care if I was a lesbian. It’s the ‘what if’ that keeps pestering me even though the fact that I like both genders isn’t really that deep

Also it’s the fact that I wasn’t aware that bi people could also experience compulsive heterosexuality until like right now so oop-

God yea, the whole « you have to pick one” bullshit is probably a factor in any ocd symptoms and possibly even a trigger. I rlly hope you figure things out eventually!!

Thankss!! Bi erasure is really triggering for me. It’s so nice to meet other lgbt ocd sufferers. Like recently when I found out that one of my gay friends had the same theme about being bi or straight. It’s nice to know you’re not alone. This disorder is so isolating :/

It really is...

Wait...I’ve done that sometimes when I’m reassuring myself @PinkDinosaur. Like boasting about every male crush I’ve had. Does this mean I’m bi like you?

Not necessarily. At the time my friends used to tease me that I was a closeted lesbian because the topic always made me really flustered (I wasn’t out as bi at the time). I was deliberately trying to prove that I wasn’t a lesbian to myself and them. Ironically, now they tease me about being the most likely to end up straight so, I guess you can’t really win haha.

So, you always knew you were bi? Since what age? @PinkDinosaur

13

I didn’t always know. I had small crushes on guys as a child but I didn’t start caring about romance until my teens. I realised I was bi when I realised I liked a girl in my year.