- Username
- Pink Dinosaur
- Date posted
- 5y ago
It’s called compulsive heterosexuality!! A lot of LGB people tend to go through it for many reasons: denial of ones sexuality is one of the biggest ones. Having said that, @Ocdsufferer123 that doesn’t necessarily mean this applies to you!! Humans naturally read things and think “oh shit, is this me?” Without it really being so!
Compulsive heterosexuality is usually done willingly, either as a result of internalized homophobia or because the person hadn’t come to terms with their identity yet. I think in the case of OCD it’s followed with compulsive behaviour which compulsive heterosexuality usually doesn’t have- so someone with HOCD would check various articles to see if they’re straight or not, or get reassurance that they’re straight.
Literally me
What’s the difference between compulsive heterosexuality and ocd?
The thing is that I’ve been through both instances as a bisexual woman. When I was in complete denial I would boast about every single Male crush in order to prove to myself and others that I was straight. The thing is that I did genuinely like those guys, I just felt the need to blow my attraction out of proportion. Because of that, now I’m wondering if those crushes were fake from the beginning and if I’ve been using being bi as a stepping stone with realising it :/
From one bi person to another; it’s fine if you find out they are. In the end, they aren’t “fake”, this was just you learning who you are! Not to mention we have these bouts of fear sometimes you know?
Ya :// a lot of my bi friends complain about it too because everyone is so eager to box us. Its the uncertainty that really makes me anxious, because when it comes down do it, I don’t think I’d really care if I was a lesbian. It’s the ‘what if’ that keeps pestering me even though the fact that I like both genders isn’t really that deep
Also it’s the fact that I wasn’t aware that bi people could also experience compulsive heterosexuality until like right now so oop-
God yea, the whole « you have to pick one” bullshit is probably a factor in any ocd symptoms and possibly even a trigger. I rlly hope you figure things out eventually!!
Thankss!! Bi erasure is really triggering for me. It’s so nice to meet other lgbt ocd sufferers. Like recently when I found out that one of my gay friends had the same theme about being bi or straight. It’s nice to know you’re not alone. This disorder is so isolating :/
It really is...
Wait...I’ve done that sometimes when I’m reassuring myself @PinkDinosaur. Like boasting about every male crush I’ve had. Does this mean I’m bi like you?
Not necessarily. At the time my friends used to tease me that I was a closeted lesbian because the topic always made me really flustered (I wasn’t out as bi at the time). I was deliberately trying to prove that I wasn’t a lesbian to myself and them. Ironically, now they tease me about being the most likely to end up straight so, I guess you can’t really win haha.
So, you always knew you were bi? Since what age? @PinkDinosaur
13
I didn’t always know. I had small crushes on guys as a child but I didn’t start caring about romance until my teens. I realised I was bi when I realised I liked a girl in my year.
How do people not obsess about sexuality when it’s so fucking complex? I just read about lesbians who still get crushes on men and now I’m spiralling again. Ffs.
Okay so I have been struggling with HOCD for so fucking long. I never felt like I had crushes on boys growing up but I wasn’t attracted to girls either (this was through 5th grade). Until 6th grade hit. I remember it like it was yesterday. I had the thought walking up the stairs and it was “You’re lesbian.” And ever since that thought was there and I fought it I have been dealing with all types of OCD ever since (been going on for 7 years). And only this year I found it was OCD. But it’s hard because I don’t know if I’m actually gay or I convinced myself I’m gay because I gave up and gave in. Now whenever I see I pretty girl I feel tingling. And I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn’t a lesbian so I look up pretty pictures of girls with their boobs out and I loved it. And I wanna make out with a girl so intensely. But then at the same I don’t wanna be in a relationship with a girl and I wanna marry a guy and I just desperately wanted to be like by a guy. But I get so horny whenever girls are in bikinis and stuff. But I have OCD and I’m so confused.
I’ve lost my sense of identity now (I don’t know how I am or what I want). I recently read that we can force ourselves to love people, be in denial when it comes to who we really are and develop attraction to an array of different people before and after puberty. Now it seems like my whole life is a lie. Has everything been forced? Am I secretly bi and in denial? Ugh, I hate it. To make it worse, I was recently watching a TV game show and a question about Katy Perry and her songs popped up. My immediate answer was her song I kissed a girl. Obviously, I took that as a mental sign. On top of that, I’ve had many “uncertain,” crushes (I wasn’t too sure whether I really liked them) that have actually developed into love. Now I’m wondering whether I forced myself to feel that way and I feel horrible; I just want to be with a man, not a woman. The idea of touching a women inappropriately makes me want to cry and throw up; it generally makes me distressed and uncomfortable. I don’t know what to do because I don’t know who I am anymore; I was so boy crazy and romantic beforehand. Now I’m plagued with anxiety and uncertainty.
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