I just woke up from a dream related to my OCD subtype and it felt too real and felt like I liked it and woke up panicking. I know dreams don’t mean anything but it felt too real and now I can’t sleep.
Here if u need to talk
@Anonymous I appreciate it, but I’m going to try my best not go do compulsions and sit with the discomfort. I feel like the dream has to do with a lot that has happened this last week and maybe random bits of p*rn I’ve watched in the past.
I’m reading an NOCD article regarding it and it’s a little triggering but gonna go back to just breathing and sit with the discomfort and try to go back to sleep.
Those dreams are the worst, but it makes sense that we will dream about what we obsess about all day, so try not to put any emphasis on it, your brain is just regurgitating the rubbish you think throughout the day.
My OCD has never been this strong, it's so real, it feels like it will never go away, it's never been this strong for me and it's very scary.
This situation just happened and I can definitely remember how it went but my brain is telling me otherwise and I know you guys said to sit with the uncertainty but what if the intrusive thought is so bad like disgusting, I can’t sit with that. Maybe it’s false memory but this just happened. I don’t even know how to live with this
I don’t know if my hormones are extra wild this month or what, but I have been having so many POCD thoughts lately. It feels like I enjoy them in the moment, and then a few seconds later, I get this tiny flicker of *wait I don’t think I actually want to enjoy that.* It’s scaring me a lot. I was watching adult videos for the first time in about a year, since I had been avoiding them because of my OCD. I know they are not good for anyone, but I felt like i could (ironically it felt like a tiny win that my OCD had calmed down enough). But while watching, I had like 3 separate POCD thoughts. And it felt like I liked them. Like genuinely *liked* them. I don’t know if maybe my body was mixing up physical pleasure and mental pleasure, and then my brain inserted those not okay thoughts into the situation, which got tangled up with the pleasure responses I felt mentally and physically. It is all really confusing. I just feel so scared. I know OCD thoughts are supposed to feel real, and that once you get desensitized to the anxiety, they lose their power. But this feels like I am *actually enjoying* the thoughts, and that makes me want to cry. I’m scared that I actually like these thoughts when I’m really aroused :( Please help.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
