What’s going on !

I have hocd and i dont want to be attracted to my same sex (women) , I was reading here an article about a lesbian that beat her so ocd and she was scared of loving the opposite sex , then suddenly i got a thought with a fear” what if im straight” 😭 then in the afternoon i was watching a cooking tv show and there was a girl i feel attracted to ( because i feel false attractions to every girl i see ) then i said this time i shouldnt avoid, i should keep seeing her and feel the feeling and attraction and to do this as form of an erp then i keep seeing her then a thought occurred in my mind “what if you accepted being bi and you genuinely attracted to that girl in the tv show then you couldnt date her, you will suffer” and i feel as if i was afraid of being unable to date her 😭 i hate how ocd messes up with me 💔 my feelings feel very bery very real

Username: yessyessyessyess

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m experiencing this, it’s like it morphs and continues to morph. I’ve always been into guys, and since having this SO-OCD flare it felt like my attraction to men was false and I was gaining it back and then got something similar that I’m not straight. And the groinals when I see women don’t help. I miss when I was sure of my sexuality or was able to cope at least. I was boy crazy three weeks ago and had nice fantasies about men and now it all feels fake. Now it makes me feel like I want to have sex with everyone because it feels like it has erased what platonic and romance/sex is. I hate this theme so much!

Username: star1232star1232

Date posted: 1y ago

@yessyess This is so hard, for how long do you handle this theme?

Username: yessyessyessyess

Date posted: 1y ago

@star1232 I’ve had it since I was 15, I’m 28 now. I didn’t know it had a name until 2020, which was one of the biggest reliefs. I got diagnosed with OCD and GAD back when I was 25. I’ve dealt with different themes, but this theme and flare has taken me to a spiral!

Username: yessyessyessyess

Date posted: 1y ago

@yessyess I was able to live a semi-normal life the last few years, it would come back but was able to cope. But this theme came back so strong a week ago. It’s like I’m experiencing it for the first time.

Username: star1232star1232

Date posted: 1y ago

@yessyess Im afraid because why i was afraid of being straight 😭

Username: yessyessyessyess

Date posted: 1y ago

@star1232 LITERALLY EXPERIENCING THIS! I thought I was the only one! It’s then telling me I’m not straight because I’ve been saying SO-OCD instead of HOCD but SO-OCD is more inclusive.! This theme is such a mindf*ck

Username: star1232star1232

Date posted: 1y ago

@yessyess Especially with real feelings

Username: Lorijvillagran@gmail.comLorijvillagr...

Date posted: 1y ago

I guess I don’t understand what’s so bad about not being straight? I am straight. I don’t think there is anything wrong with finding either sex attractive or if you are gay, lesbian, homosexual, whatever. Can somebody please cue me in what is wrong with having desires for the same sex? My old therapist was transgender. I was fine with that. I just don’t see how this is OCD.

Username: Carlos ACarlos A

Date posted: 1y ago

@Lorijvillagran@gmail.com I cannot have a bad view of x sexual orientation in other people or in general, that does not imply that I have to like it as a lifestyle, each head is a world, we have simply experienced in the past what we have thought is ours orientation and suddenly the fact that that is compromised is what is uncomfortable, I have no real need or desire to be with a man, however I cannot get the doubt out of my head, and the way in which obsession has been distorting many Things, personally, if I really wanted to, I was already doing something, there is no one to tell me no, I am independent, but the idea of changing women for men? It's a difficult feeling to describe, and despite doubting that this is OCD, you can become obsessed with infinite topics, about anything you can imagine, why couldn't this be a topic of obsession?

Username: Carlos ACarlos A

Date posted: 1y ago

@Lorijvillagran@gmail.com There are OCD issues that I do not suffer from, a very common one such as contamination, I do unhygienic things without worrying, things that would leave someone who suffers from this subtype spending hours and hours washing their hands, I don't see it the same way. But I do not detract from the validity of the obsession, because I know what it can feel like, and yes, they can become obsessed with topics that one may not understand, in the same way as one can do when faced with the lack of understanding of others.

Username: star1232star1232

Date posted: 1y ago

@Carlos A 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Username: JenniesOCDBrainJenniesOCDBrain

Date posted: 1y ago

hey there, i can only imagine how tough it must be dealing with those intrusive thoughts and the confusion they bring. it's really brave of you to face them head-on with erp, even when it's so challenging. 💔 it's okay to feel overwhelmed by all this, you're not alone in this fight. i've been in your shoes with my own ocd battles and something that really helped me was this free AI OCD therapy tool called "unstuck" (unstuckmyocd.com/try) that my ocd therapist introduced me to. it'll be especially helpful for you because it offers personalized step-by-step support, just like an ocd therapist would, guiding you through moments when your feelings seem all too real. i hate when people promote stuff, but i really think it can help you because it's changed my life. lmk if you have Qs or just want to talk more! <3

Username: anotherocd123

Date posted: 5y ago

Okay so I have been struggling with HOCD for so fucking long. I never felt like I had crushes on boys growing up but I wasn’t attracted to girls either (this was through 5th grade). Until 6th grade hit. I remember it like it was yesterday. I had the thought walking up the stairs and it was “You’re lesbian.” And ever since that thought was there and I fought it I have been dealing with all types of OCD ever since (been going on for 7 years). And only this year I found it was OCD. But it’s hard because I don’t know if I’m actually gay or I convinced myself I’m gay because I gave up and gave in. Now whenever I see I pretty girl I feel tingling. And I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn’t a lesbian so I look up pretty pictures of girls with their boobs out and I loved it. And I wanna make out with a girl so intensely. But then at the same I don’t wanna be in a relationship with a girl and I wanna marry a guy and I just desperately wanted to be like by a guy. But I get so horny whenever girls are in bikinis and stuff. But I have OCD and I’m so confused.

Username: hlm2

Date posted: 2y ago

Hocd

So my hocd started over 2 years ago (I’m 20 yrs old now), when I was having a conversation with one of my friends and the thought popped into the back of my head what if the reason I don’t have a crush on any guys at my high school is because I’m a lesbian. Since then my sexuality has been on my mind 24/7 I didn’t know this was ocd until about a year ago but i’m only seeking treatment now. The hocd ramped up when I felt super aroused watching a movie with topless women, something that had never happened when watching men. Thing is I genuinely think I’m gay now, I’ve had this for so long that at first the thoughts disgusted me and caused me anxiety but now they don’t anymore. I saw so many tiktok videos about “pipelines” of certain interests gay people have that triggered me and read the comphet masterdoc which made me cry when I read it because I related to so much of it. When I was a child I was never boy crazy, I never really crushed on boys in my class (to be fair there were only 7) however I do remember writing a love note to a boy in first grade and having an immense celebrity crush on a disney channel star. I remember to certain things I did as a child that lead me to think I am gay and they keep replaying over and over in my head. Thing is over the past year I’ve had crushes on 3 guys I’ve met through dating apps. The last one I actually hung out with and I had my first kiss/makeout session 2 months ago. After that my hocd calmed down I enjoyed kissing him it felt euphoric the whole drive home just replaying our dates in my head. But now I can’t get the thought out of my head what if I didn’t like it enough? I didn’t get butterflies when we kissed (i do when I think back about it though) and didnt feel super aroused like that time I watched that movie. I feel nothing when I look at pictures and videos of men but with women I started getting this warm feeling in my chest which stressed me out even more. Idk what I am anymore and it is driving me insane. Does anyone relate?

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

False attraction for women with so-ocd

Hello all. I am a woman who struggles with what i assume to be hocd and have struggled with it for 3 years now. I have had false attraction on and off and have been able to let them go because i realized the anxiety behind them. Now however, i have a fear that i am secretly attracted to people of the same sex who are masculine presenting or one day i am going to feel attracted to and actuallydevelop feelings for one. Are there women that feel this way ?? Thank you advance.

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