Like I want to know this cause I have guilt, anxiety, sadness and all of these feelings more than the other feelings. So what is considered as happiness in this recovery process?
Over Christmas, aside from one episode, there were several whole days where I barely noticed the thoughts. I went to see my friends at their houses, went out for drinks, and had dinner with my family. I was present at all of these in a way I haven't been in years. No trying to dodge thoughts, no bubbling emotion, just present. Happiness, I think, is being able to be present even for a little bit of time, and hopefully watching that become longer and more frequent.
I think good moments can truly pull someone out. Not completely but slowly. When I was little, I didn’t know it at the time but I struggled heavily with different subtypes of ocd. I think the more you rely on the people around you, those who love you, support you, adore you, the easier the burden gets. I know how crippling it can feel but you have to keep yourself busy, and interactive. When you’re forced to do productive things, your mind has less space to be consumed with thought. Remember that these thoughts aren’t you, and that there are people who love and support you.
Fellowship has been key for me as well! Beautiful reply, thank you for this ❤️
I agree with both comments! Happiness is rooted in the present oftentimes. Even if it's for literally 2 minutes, there is moments of happiness sprinkled in everywhere
I concur! Allowing our thoughts to just BE as we focus on the things in life outside of us that bring us joy and serenity has been so helpful ✨️
I know how you feel. I often wonder if I will ever truly be happy
@Nic12 You will!
So, I know my capacity to get fixated on things. And it's normally something that's relatively remote but, my latest issue is really getting to me and I was wondering if people have any advice. I'm avoiding getting too into specifics, as I don't want this to get reassurance-y but, in essence.. I came to the realisation recently that people who I'd been "friends" (feels like the wrong term now) when I was younger were not very nice people, and normalized a lot of very unpleasant behaviour towards other members of the group. They really normalized it, sold themselves as figures of authority, as older and more responsible and grown-up than others, and looking back, they acted horribly. And coming to this realisation, that I'd been manipulated into just accepting their behaviour has just... broken me. My OCD has latched onto it and I can't stop feeling irreversibly tainted by it. I've talked to others about it, and they've reassured me, told me it's not a big deal and that I hold myself to too high a standard, but none of that sticks. I feel better for a bit, then think 'Maybe when you told them you were skewing it to make yourself look better' or 'Did you leave out a crucial detail'. I keep ruminating over and over, trying to remember exactly how everything played out, trying to figure out if I fed into the behaviour, if I did something bad myself (because y'know, I feel like I was accepting of it at the time, so what does it say about my own values?). I know I need to stop doing all this if I want to improve, but then some part of me keeps saying 'So, you're just going to let yourself off the hook then?' Normally, I can rationalize my own fears to some degree, assure myself something won't happen, but the realness of the situation, and the fact I only came to understand the reality of it because the thought had been bothering me means it feels so much more all-encompassing. I know confessing in itself is a compulsion, but I keep feeling that if I'm not I'm somehow concealing what I 'really am' from others around me, and any positive interactions are me deceiving them in some way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life right now, and a good part of me feels I should not enjoy it ever again. If anybody has any advice on it, I'm all ears. Or even hearing if you relate to these feelings, I might appreciate the solidarity at least.
I have had ocd for decades! Could I still be cured???? (Of you can call it that?) I have seen different therapists but it never had fully left me...not by any stretch of the imagination. I do want to be free of this ocd and its power over me and all the bad that it brought into my life!!! Some days I am strong and feel like I am fighting it put other days...many days...I don't get things done or if I do I take a long time to-do the things I need to get done. I feel like I know this is just then ocd stopping me and that these are just thoughts but nobody in my family understands and though they have shared my journey and hated it a I do.....it just feels like I want so bad to be the best person I coukd be but I avoid places, people, things, that have any reminder of my ocd.......and so it restricts me from getting better and completing tasks the way I used to. Now UI might go and make 2-3 trips cuz I am worried to shop at a place and therefore it takes my time up. The avoidance I do is bad! When I actually don't listen to my ocd and don't avoid something...I feel great! ,However, it happens so rarely!!! I.dont know how finding a therapist through NOCD will help me. It is not in person and two be honest I almost think I need medicine to push me along. I don't have anybsteady and consistent improvements. However, I don't think I want to be on medication for the rest of my life! I am very confused!
What to do when we feel guilty about our ocd checking and compulsive behaviors?
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