- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Socd
Does anyone feel like they’re fully convinced that they’re gay/lesbian? Along with loss of attraction to the opposite sex?
Does anyone feel like they’re fully convinced that they’re gay/lesbian? Along with loss of attraction to the opposite sex?
100%. And it’s what keeps me stuck on the thoughts and always had. It was like that very moment I had the thought at 26, I just couldn’t prove it wrong. I had lost attraction to everything and no libido. And then my mind was like ‘made up’ that it was true. Ever since, it just keeps me stuck in this horrible anxiety filled, panic riddled scenario that I’m just not accepting who I am and that I just never realised I was gay till that one thought popped in.
@gp You literally just explained me too. It wasn’t until that thought popped in my head too
Yes im in a relationship with my girlfriend and ive never have thoughts before i still love her but not as attracted to her since this certain ocd started happening im not convinced im gay though as its just thoughts in my head saying your gay/im gay i try to ignore them but it does anger me sometimes and my brain always tests me saying is he gl etc and just ignore it your thoughts arent who you are just remember that i start therapy next week so hopefully it wont be as bad but aslong as you ignore it and remind your self of your true identity you should be fine
@kboocock I don’t know what my true identity is anymore. If feels like I like the thoughts now, I’ve been trying to fantasize on purpose of being w women to see how I feel or react, and it feels like I want it now
@Anonymous2120 I hear you ❤️.
same ^ feels like I’m bi not straight anymore :(
I understand it entirely. It feels so true. Sometimes it not even thoughts it’s just feelings. It keeps me so stuck
@ejpwolfpack Thoughts create feelings and feelings create thoughts. Neither are necessarily facts, try to remember that! Lx
I feel like everyone "healed" from their SOOCD and yet 6 years later I'm still here. All the people who used to post on here have moved on (and good for them) but im still here. Even when im having sex with my bf I'm like "am I enjoying it because Im enjoying the act of sex itself + the fact that Im used to him by now but with women its way more exciting and its about the women itself?". Ugh I just feel so alone, no one relates to me romantically nor physically.
I really feel like SOOCD is such a tricky theme. They tell you to sit with it and not overthink it and accept the possibilty, but we're talking about our future and someone else's future! I also feel like societal pressure doesnt help this theme at all. And its always gonna come up, because as a women, when I hang out with my friends, all they talk about is 1) their relationshios 2) their crush so my brain automatically compares or stresses when it does not relate. I try looking for comphet video on tiktok (i vividely dont recommend doing that) and some videos kind of made sens so I was like, am I a lesbian? So for instance, there is one girl who came ut at 26 and she was like "all my life I felt like I needed to date guys and chose my crushes and when I was making out with my bf it always felt like something was missing and then when I went out with the girl I realised that it wasnt supposed to feel hard and whats natural to your body will come to you naturally". She said that even tho she's a lesbian now she still imagines a life where she has a husband and kids but she knows that she cant have that because she likes imagining that she's straight when indeed she's not. (that was a very big spike for me). and she knew that if she went down that road she would never date men again ( and I feel like I relate to that?!). So to calm myself I said, idc if im gay or bi, at least my bf will be my "one" exception. And right after there was a video of a girl who said " if you're a girl going out with your bf and thinking you're 99 percent into women but that your bf is the exception leave him, you're a lesbian" ughhhhhhhh. My biggest worry right now after being in a 6 year relationship is that I feel if I imagine it that I would feel way more for a women then for a man? but my therapist told me it was normal because with two women its always more intense but im like but what does it mean? that I dont know true love? That I dont love my current partner or at least not enough? I also feel like sometimes, if I ever break up with my bf I'll never date guys after? like even if they were perfect? I know that for anyone reading that shows that Im in denial... I've talked to my therapist about it and she always is like "live in the moment". Ugh
SOOCD sufferers! Do you sometimes worry that you're true attraction is your false attraction and vice versa? and that you actually dont really know what true attraction is but if you go with the unwated sex you will know? Ima actually really struggeling between finding someone attractive and being attracted to someone.... I'm a straight female (I think) and I recognise a beautiful women more than a handsome men. Like I wasnt really attracted to my bf's body before actually being with him. However since in my mind, the female body has "more" if feels like I'll feel more if Im with a women? ughh soo weird. Like I dont see a men's naked body and automaticcaly get turned on, I have to be intimate with him for that to happen? honetsly between that and the romantic feelings that I feel like are not "enough" it really sounds like denial even if my therapist really diagnosed me. UGH
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