Told my girlfriend, and I sorta regret it.

Hey guys, so these past 4 months I had a sudden onset of OCD after a concussion. It first started with HOCD which was super distressing as I’ve been in a 9 year relationship with my girlfriend. It then evolved into transgender OCD, which was horrible as well but it felt easier to disprove my intrusive thoughts. That and of course horrible health anxiety about my head. And it’s funny, as soon as I got comfortable with one topic, the OCD would jump to another. Basically over time I accepted all these negative thoughts about all these topics, so where does my mind go? I had a physical groinal response to an image of an underage person. It freaked me out so much that all day I was obsessing over it, I eventually told my girlfriend as she’s been supportive with me over the other topics. But this…. She’s angry with me, and doesn’t trust me anymore. And she doesn’t understand the groinal response. She did ask to sit in a therapy session with me to help her understand. But that’s about all the communication I’ve gotten from her. I feel so alone. And it’s literally ruining everything I’ve built up with her for the past 9 years. I wish I hadn’t told her. And instead just asked her to join a therapy session with me. Just making this post as I just need someone to talk to.

POCD

Username: Liam45Liam45

Date posted: 49w ago

This is just my take on the situation. One, you don’t ever have to tell her anything about your mental health. That is yours and only yours. Two, in regards to “sitting” in on a therapy session, no. Those session are your safe space and no one, not even her deserves to invade that. If you want, maybe ask your doctor to dedicate the last 10 minutes of your session or something like that to where they can explain to the gf and give her a proper explanation on the good ole groinal response. That’s a joke, it’s not good, I know. Three, groinal responses are unfortunately normal. Doesn’t mean you’re what you fear you are. When your body is hypersensitive to these kind of things, especially since POCD is related to sex, a very evil form of it, still sexual in nature though your body is going to have natural responses to it, that’s what it is. Another example, but not related it SA victims bud. You hear about SA victims all the time hating themselves after the assault because they can’t tell if they “secretly” liked or “wanted it” because of how their body responded during the attack, when those two possibilities couldn’t be further from the truth, that’s just how the body responded naturally because that’s how the human body works sometimes. Hang in there buddy!

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 49w ago

@Liam45 You’re right, not to label everything but maybe I’m also having a form of relationship ocd, whereas if I don’t tell her everything that’s happening in my head I feel like I’m lying to her or something. But these past months it only seems to be doing more harm than good.

Username: Liam45Liam45

Date posted: 49w ago

@Anonymous It sounds like you are compulsively confessing. I did with when my OCD was at its peak last year between August and October and it didn’t help. As I said in my first comment, your mental health is yours and yours only. If you wanna tell the gf this stuff go for it, but do it because you want to not because you feel obligated to. Here’s what my boyfriend and I did, we have a “secret action,” if my OCD is really getting to me on random day, I just take my index finger and tap my head and he knows it’s affecting me and I’ll act a little different that day. Maybe have something like that?

Username: yurmomyurmom

Date posted: 49w ago

Hey, I hear you, I completely understand :( groinal response is completely normal. I’ve been there and done that same thing with my little sibling or like with religious thoughts or like all the above. It’s so stressful to be in that place. And it takes a lot of trust and courage to be able to say that and express that. Honestly people who go through this much fear of those things are typically the people who would never do those things because it obviously weighs so heavy on your conscious. I don’t know if that brings comfort but just wanted to say I hear you and see you, I know also being on the receiving end of that information can be hard if you don’t understand it’s cool she’s going with you to get understanding. I wish you the best truly

Username: Anonymous444444

Date posted: 2y ago

What should I tell her?

I know we can't ask for reassurance, but I need some opinions from others who understand OCD :( When my gf and I had just gone official, I had another friend who I was close with that I think had feelings for me. When I was drunk one night I called her after she left to pick me up and go to her apartment. My friend told me it was just to keep drinking because my roommate had gone to sleep in the living room, but I was so drunk I can't fully remember and feel I was making the call to fool around. Another time a few weeks later we squeezed hands while very drunk again. I've since stopped drinking and hanging out with this person, and even told my gf what happened. However I didn't go into detail about the fact that I think I might have been trying to cheat or had slightly developed feelings, just told her I felt like I had cheated by making that call at all. She took it really well but I don't feel she understands the severity, and thinks it was mostly the other girl making advances. It scares me so much because I did kiss another girl during my previous relationship yeears ago in college (my current gf doesn't know about this), so I'm scared I'm doing bad again. I feel like I need to confess and fully explain what exactly I'm worried about, and that I think the only thing that stopped me from actually cheating is that she didn't pick me up, but at this point I'm not sure if that's a compulsion or not. How do I know? Do I just confess again? I've confessed multiple times to her and it's def put a strain on things :(

Username: SL1K

Date posted: 1y ago

PLEASE . Someone PLEASE respond to this. Please.

Sexual theme ocd sucks. I’m 15. So. When my ocd first started back in 2022 near July. This was about 4-5 months into dating my current gf. So my ocd first started because of a false memory saying “what if I ever did something very bad that hurt someone as a kid.” And this carried on for months and months. Anyway in the middle of dealing with that obsession. My gf insisted she NEEDED to know what the thought wasn’t. So she listed some things. And she listed the theme or topic that my false memory was about. And I didn’t respond for a min and she said “that’s scaring me” and I lied and I said “no my ocd isnt about that topic or theme” and we haven’t talked about that obsession since. Since that point. Ever since I lied. I feel guilty. Every single week. Guilt comes over me. I feel like a horrible person and I don’t know what to do. Do I just carry on? I was so scared and she wouldn’t have understood it’s JUST ocd. She wouldn’t have understood and she would have treated me different. And I was terrified because she didn’t understand ocd well so I lied. I’ve told my bestfriend about what the false memory was about. And for months he even tried to convince me that it is a false memo ry. But no matter what I would always say “but what if..” he knows I lied to my gf about the false thought and he just said it’s okay, i was scared and I lied. And a thought is just a thought. I even asked the PERSON that my false memory was about if I ever hurt them or did anything bad ever when I was a kid. And over 5 times they promised me of course I never hurt them or anything. I don’t know what to do I don’t want to tell my gf the false thought that I had so long ago. But I lied so I don’t know if it’s NEEDED to tell her. I don’t know if keeping it from her is bad or not. Do I just move forward and be happy in my relationship. I feel like I don’t deserve this happiness nor love because of the lie I’ve said. I feel like if she knew she’d stop loving me. Or breakup. Or anything. And I don’t know if it’s so wrong that I lied and that I’m keeping this from her. Please someone tell me I’m okay. Please someone tell me if I deserve to stay in this relationship. Or if I should just tell her I lied and accept anything that comes. Sometimes I feel like I should breakup because I lied and I don’t want to cause her pain. I’m f*cking struggling I really need help

Username: will1977

Date posted: 50w ago

Pure O (Should I tell my new girlfriend?)

I told my last girlfriend of 16 months I suffer from Pure OCD sexually intrusive thoughts, and she ended our relationship.

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Told my girlfriend, and I sorta regret it.

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