Hey guys. I have a doubt (well thousands of them actually haha). Either way, I was wondering if anyone could help me with this: how should I feel about my intrusive thoughts? If I argue with them and reassure me I feel better about them (which doesn't last long), if I agree with them then it doesn't feel right, and I hate myself. I can't seem to find balance or a neutral position. Any tips?

A very on point question, actually. - I will answer with this. How SHOULD you feel about dog barking behind a fence while you are walking? Yes - Exactly like that. I bet your brain wouldn't even register it as important. Yes, exactly like that. A dog barking at you behind a fence is as irrelevant as an intrusive thought. Actually that is the difference between us and people without OCD - we take our thoughts way too seriously. The right attitude is an attitude of 'irrelevance'. How should YOU feel about a stinky fart produced by your body? Exactly like that.

However, the main issue here is the need you feel to have a specific attitude towards your thoughts. Since we don't have control over our feelings, it is useless trying to feel a certain way. Judging thoughts is the root of all suffering.

Just let the thought go it's hard but try tp

I feel the same, the "agreeing with them" part makes me feel uncomfortable. So most of the time I just outright dismiss it with sarcasm. If the thought says something like, "You just can't admit it yourself that you're a <insert obsession>. You're just in denial and using OCD as an excuse!" I can respond with something like, "So, is that your idea of a horror story? Come up with something better next time if you want me to care." or something like that.

Thank you all for your answers! Fernando you helped me gain insight into my problem,and I thank you for that. You really helped me.

Don't acknowledged them but also don't try to force them away or replace them with other thoughts. Go about your business and like Fernando said, it's like dogs barking in the background

I agree with Fernando,but you can also agree with them if you can, you say it doesn't feel right but unfortunately that's how you get better from ocd,by allowing yourself to not "feel right". In the end the most important is not to do anything that makes you feel better or safer about your thoughts as that's a compulsion.

I see 'agreeing' with the thoughts more as a technique (which should be used carefully) rather than a default state of 'attitude' for ALL thoughts. Intrusive or non-intrusive thoughts, they are all the same thing. We are the ones that give them meaning with our judgement.

Indeed agreeing is a part of erp that helps treat a symptom, that's why i said if she can because offcource doing erp alone is a little risky if you have severe ocd.

Personally agreeing worked great because it obviously caused heavy distress and my brain habituated to it so know it doesn't bother me so much

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Thank you both. I understand that not escaping from the discomfort helps us get better. It's just so counterintuitive. I can't go through life thinking or accepting that I did bad things when I haven't done them. It lessens my self esteem and self confidence :(