scutodragon
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Ocd caused so many problems in my life
I wish I didn’t have this disorder it lost the will to live I don’t want to do it anymore my life is too hard to fix
scutodragonscutodragon
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Writing this comment because my ocd doesn’t like plain comment sections and erp doesn’t work for me nor can I swollow pills
Joe87Joe87
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Can I ask how long have you had ocd and what are your themes? For you to write what you have written shows that you are really struggling and thats okay because trust me I know exactly what that feels like as im sure many others here have felt the same. I have struggled terribly with ocd for 4 years now to the point that I cant even walk into a room without stepping out of the room and back into it again. That is just one of the many rituals I have. I have realised that I have probably always had an anxiety disorder and it was life events that manifested it into this ocd. Erp and medication never helped me either altough I think the erp didn't help when I did it because I didnt fully commit to it. I am still trying to navigate myself out of ocd but I think that the main reason that many of us struggle is because we view it as a destination that we desperately want rather than a journey that we are on. I also don't think that it's possible to 'think' our way our way out of mental health problems and it is likely overthinking that played a big part and continues to play a big part in us having ocd
scutodragonscutodragon
- Date posted
- 1y ago
My theme of real event ocd is weird complex and depressing as well as problematic it all began in march of 2023 I always had ocd but this was the breakdown point I messed up in file created and typed random numbers I could not delete the files but I needed them to be deleted the staff of the place told me to be patient but I could not wait because my ocd made everything so pushy and didn’t want to wait so I got banned the files existing caused ocd for me but then I managed to control it using not erp which never works but acceptance and commitment therapy it took 9 months but it was manageable enough then yesterday I lost a pencil which seems very silly but my brain works in A sense that there can’t be too many thoughts and one thought was one too many
scutodragonscutodragon
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Also most of the people I’ve encountered were not the most understanding to ocd which made me angry which why is now I deeply hate humans that are not family to me and I wish there are some sort of event to wipe out the internet because I don’t want to live anymore the 2020s have been horrible
Joe87Joe87
- Date posted
- 1y ago
I think ocd must be one of the hardest things to try and reduce or alleviate but I honestly think that it starts with small steps of positive action that will raise our self asteem like for instance cleaning our teeth and making our bed in the morning if we have stopped doing that. Eating meals at the right times and trying to eat healthy and drink water. Going for a walk or a light jog. Reading a book. These things almost certainly won't make the OCD disappear but if these positive things are repeated every day for a good period of time then I do beleive that our self asteem will be raised and the ocd will be reduced. We might then be ready for erp. I hope my comment has helped you in some way.
scutodragonscutodragon
- Date posted
- 1y ago
@Joe87 Yeah aren’t you a little frustrated tho ocd people have such a disadvantage compared to normal people I wish I was not like this then those demons would have not gotten the chance they did and I would be happy
Joe87Joe87
- Date posted
- 1y ago
@scutodragon So are you saying that it drove you crazy that you couldn't delete that information straight away and then it also made you feel the same way when you lost the pencil? Can you elaborate a little on what you felt when you lost the pencil? Where you obsessing over it and feeling like you needed to find it as if it was really important? It sounds to me that part of your ocd is 'just right' and 'perfectionism' ocd so you need everything to be or feel just right to you anf if it doesnt you will spend a long time ruminating on it or doing something to try and make up for it
scutodragonscutodragon
- Date posted
- 1y ago
@Joe87 Exactly I controlled the data but my brain could not handle any more thoughts since 100% of the power was on controlling the data that could not get deleted so it came too quick and unexpected
scutodragonscutodragon
- Date posted
- 1y ago
@Joe87 Tommrow I have to go the school and check 3 different rooms to make sure it’s not lost because this amazing brain won’t stop wining
scutodragonscutodragon
- Date posted
- 1y ago
@Joe87 It did not help that most people without ocd are generally very ignorant and peices of shit when it comes to solving these issue and just blame the victim of ocd rather than trying to support that’s why I hate humans deeply and hate the idea of the internet benefits we’re not worth it I’d rather live in 1990
Joe87Joe87
- Date posted
- 1y ago
@scutodragon It doesn't sound silly at all btw so I hope you don't feel shame in talking about it as that is absolutely the first step to overcoming this. I will tell you that every single ritual that I do is to prevent me or a loved one from dying or getting a terrible disease which means that either I have that much hurt, trauma and grief me that it's too much for me to be able to listen to the logical part of my mind or it means that i actually believe that turning the light switch on and off 5 times or whatever other horrible rituals I feel I have to do genuinely keep me safe. The irony is that ocd basically is a horrible disease so the very thing that I think is keeping me safe is infact destroying me. Now if that doesn't sound silly then I don't know what does. Do you do any physical compulsions to prevent bad things from happening or to feel like you have control of something?
scutodragonscutodragon
- Date posted
- 1y ago
@Joe87 Do you have discord or something I would love to get in touch
scutodragonscutodragon
- Date posted
- 1y ago
@scutodragon If you want to that is
scutodragonscutodragon
- Date posted
- 1y ago
To make sure it’s not findable*
Joe87Joe87
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Is this for a video chat? I don't have discord but I'm sure I can set it up
scutodragonscutodragon
- Date posted
- 1y ago
@Joe87 Nope just dms no video chat
Joe87Joe87
- Date posted
- 1y ago
@scutodragon Yes I have made an account if you wanna chat there
Related posts
user2826728292
- Date posted
- 21w ago
My ocd is taking away my life
I’m losing it completely, I’ve never had a flare up like this with contamination. I’m so burnt out seriously , I feel like I’m going insane. My hands are cracking and bleeding from washing them and my family’s getting very tired of me , they think I should go stay in a hospital or something for a while because of how bad it is. OCD as taken away my relationships with people , I can’t sit on the couch anymore with my family , I can’t hug my dog anymore , I can’t relax ever. I just needed to write this down as I really can’t process my feelings right now as I have too many thoughts , any advice?
Dunkin2019!
- Date posted
- 18w ago
Feeling angry with ocd
I am so angry with ocd. I hate that ocd even exists. I wouldn’t necessarily say I wanted to be a mom when I was younger. I grew up without my mom around. But now my sisters are both moms and I see them and I feel like I’m missing out. But having pocd and hocd has definitely made me feel like it’s completely out of the question. I even made sure my fiancé knew that I didn’t want children/ feel like I can’t have them for fear of hurting them or passing on mental health issues. I was abused growing up and one of my old therapists told me that “people who are abused can become abusers”. That is something that I am not willing to risk. And even though I feel set on that choice, my brain still tells me that I’m missing out. So I’m constantly questioning if I truly feel like I don’t want them or if ocd is convincing me I don’t. Ugh. It’s just so frustrating.
Ellie.
- Date posted
- 8w ago
I’m begging ANYONE help I can’t take it anymore!!
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???
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