ROCD

My husband and I have a sensitive relationship for the last two years and I’m in therapy for my ROCD. Tonight he was out with friends and was going to stay the night. and not texting me back soon enough and I got triggered thinking he was with someone else and wants to leave me. I was crying and screaming to myself. He eventually called and reassured me that he wasn’t with someone else. I’ve never had an episode this intense. Could therapy be making it worse ? And what are some ways to cope so we don’t have to involve our loved ones during episodes

So confused how I can go from feeling this strong sense of “Nothing can happen to my husband, he needs to be safe, I’d never fall in love again or find a better man if something happened to him, we have to grow old together.” (For months!) to suddenly feeling “I’m not attracted to him, oh no my friends’ partners at this cabin retreat are more attractive than him, oh no everyone agrees they’re super attractive, no one said anything about him, maybe we’re going to split up one day because I don’t feel attracted enough to his personality and physicality and maybe that’s why I have vaginismus.” Trying to ride out the wave and figure out what my values are telling me. I know everyone goes through less attracted periods (this one literally started in the car on the way to the cabin so it’s been two days and a half but my brain is thinking such DIRE and depressing thoughts constantly). Anyone have any helpful resources they might recommend? I really wish my attraction wouldn’t unplug like a cord. It seems to be very triggered by public settings with comparison to super cute and happy couples and/ or by my own feelings of boredom with more nerdy topics he discusses with friends.

Although being diagnosed with OCD nearly 2-3 years ago, I’ve just recently found out more symptoms that were related to it, ones that I had no idea of. For example, reassurance-seeking into my relationship with my boyfriend. Him and I have had a lot of issues over the past year and the stuff he has done made it worse. Even though he’s trying to change for me, I can’t help but feel like he’s lost my trust. And I know this isn’t true because within every promise he makes, I trust every word. I hate asking for his reassurance because I can’t control it at ALL. And no matter how much he tells me that he’s not mad and that I didn’t do anything wrong, it never feels like enough. He tries to cheer me up and deal with my mood swings, but I get angry and upset so easily that I start to feel like I’m ruining his life. I don’t want to ask for his reassurance on it either.