Username: Mike0310

Date posted: 45w ago

Psychiatrist Eval - Asked about voices

My new physician who is evaluating me for OCD asked about if I hear voices. I immediately got anxious and still am 24 hours later. I am deathly afraid of going schizophrenic and losing my grip on reality so my intrusive thoughts are very much surrounded my sounds , imagining I’m hearing a voice , being hyperaware , or being afraid of silence. When I said no I do not have auditory hallucinations I then begin to tell myself that I was lying and I probably am having hallucinations but just sane enough to lie about it? I am in a cycle of self doubt and it is driving me nuts. Why can’t I just take my diagnosis for what it is? And believe it is the right one?

Username: aquabbyaquabby

Date posted: 45w ago

OCD tries to convince you of things… it’s horrible. It’s called the doubting disorder for a reason

Username: Mike0310Mike0310

Date posted: 45w ago

@aquabby It’s brutal . If you ask me anything, I sure as heck will begin imagining it and not be able to stop ruminating.

Username: aquabbyaquabby

Date posted: 45w ago

@Mike0310 you’re not alone :( I feel you man. Stay strong let’s beat this disorder

Username: Lilly2442!Lilly2442!

Date posted: 45w ago

I am so terrified of schizo I am always on edge and I feel like at any moment it will happen :( I am currently struggling with this fear ( Schizo ocd theme ) the psychiatrist said I don’t have it but still the can’t believe him! 😭

Username: Mike0310Mike0310

Date posted: 45w ago

@Lilly2442! I literally can’t help but to imagine if there’s a voice that will call my name or something . Like I play this situation out and it scares me but I can’t get it out of my mind!

Username: Lilly2442!Lilly2442!

Date posted: 45w ago

@Mike0310 Same. I always think I’ll hear my name called any minute or hallucinate any minute and it causes me so much anxiety or I’ll have a panic attack. I know they are intrusive thoughts but the feel so so so real in the moment like they will happen. So I stay on guard hyperventilate if everything so I can catch it before it happens which is so ridiculous I know but I don’t know how to let my guard down because “what if it does happen the moment I let my guard down”

Username: Mike0310Mike0310

Date posted: 45w ago

@Lilly2442! Definitely a hyperawareness element and thought repetition element to this subtype. I almost like you said , stand on guard ready to repeat the thought , change the thought , or revert the thought to a different tone and or sound . It results to what feels like a broken record stuck on repeat.

Username: Lilly2442!Lilly2442!

Date posted: 45w ago

@Mike0310 Does this theme cause you to become hyper aware of every noise as well? I feel like my ears can hear everything because of this theme!

Username: Mike0310Mike0310

Date posted: 45w ago

@Lilly2442! Oh yeah for sure . Especially being hyper aware of any or all thoughts . I question whether it’s my own brain .

Username: Mike0310Mike0310

Date posted: 45w ago

@Mike0310 Or if it’s auditory hallucination

Username: Lilly2442!Lilly2442!

Date posted: 45w ago

@Mike0310 Yeah I’m so hyper aware of noise I can hear everything and it makes me anxious. Like the white noise or fan ugh

Username: Mike0310Mike0310

Date posted: 45w ago

@Lilly2442! I actually compulsively use those things to drown out the intrusive thoughts ! So I’m on the other end where I can’t stop thinking of sounds of I heard in the past ? So I use present moment sounds to make me feel better lol this weird way of me reassuring myself I’m not hallucinating . Truly silly and not noticeable to the naked eye .. but cripples me with anxiety

Username: Lilly2442!Lilly2442!

Date posted: 45w ago

@Mike0310 Oh okay I see. Yeah I use the fan but sometimes it sounds like whispers i struggle with audio pareidolia i only noticed it because of this theme btw! But I heard it’s normal I even asked my psychiatrist! I hate when it’s quiet tho I feel like I’m gonna start hearing things and it sends me into a spiral

Username: Mike0310Mike0310

Date posted: 45w ago

@Lilly2442! Yes ! Silence is huge for me . Even at work I can’t deal with the pause of a conversation. Some of my erp tools are just sitting in silence with no external stimuli . It is tough to do when you have be drowning out your anxiety all these years

Username: Bestrong❤️Bestrong❤️

Date posted: 45w ago

Uhh Ocd is soo hard. I feel this. My ocd worries me a lot about having schizophrenia. In any ocd situation I just do my best to let the anxious thought be. The thought can be there in my mind but I don’t have to answer. Just allow the uncomfortableness to be there and go about your day no matter how overwhelming it may feel.. just tell yourself, “oh well if I have schizophrenia I’ll just get help but I’m gonna go about what I’m doing either way and my ocd can tag along.”

Username: Lilly2442!Lilly2442!

Date posted: 45w ago

Omg this is what happened to me I went to a psychiatrist because I told him I was so scared of schizo and asked him if I meet the criteria and he asked me if I heard voices and I got so anxious like my heart sank to my stomach when he asked that

Username: Mike0310Mike0310

Date posted: 45w ago

@Lilly2442! Yes . And I told her “ no , but I imagine I do.” So she says “So are you hearing them?” I said ok no but I’m scared I will and I imagine I do therefore I ruminate about it lol. I felt so pressured that I began to doubt myself.

Username: Lilly2442!Lilly2442!

Date posted: 45w ago

@Mike0310 YES! Me too. I told him “no I don’t hear them but I get scared I will or I hear background noise and freak out that it’s voices”

Username: Lilly2442!Lilly2442!

Date posted: 45w ago

I was told I don’t have it and I’m actually prescribed Prozac but can’t bring myself to take it due to how strong and real this theme feels

Username: Mike0310Mike0310

Date posted: 45w ago

@Lilly2442! It took me over a year looking at my medicine in the counter . Had to go to ED because of panic attack and I actually thought I officially “ lost it”. Once again .. ocd and the nurse was pissed and said please take your medication 😂. I’m a father of two kids and pride myself on being very productive an in control so when this happened I felt so ashamed

Username: Mike0310Mike0310

Date posted: 45w ago

@Mike0310 Helped me realize though the fear of my phobias can’t be stronger than my will to want to get better x

Username: Lilly2442!Lilly2442!

Date posted: 45w ago

@Mike0310 Oh wow! Yeah I feel like that too. When my panic attacks hit I think “what If this time it’s different, and I’m actually losing control”

Username: Lilly2442!Lilly2442!

Date posted: 45w ago

I relate to everything you said :( this theme is so hard

Username: Mike0310Mike0310

Date posted: 45w ago

@Lilly2442! Thank you for resonating . Makes me feel I’m not totally alone . Well I’m going to 50mg of Prozac so lets see how this goes and how I also handle my “ going manic “ fear lol

Username: Lilly2442!Lilly2442!

Date posted: 45w ago

@Mike0310 I don’t even take medicine because I’m scared the medicine with trigger psychosis

Username: hannie

Date posted: 5y ago

How do I know that this is OCD or not something else? I really feel like it is just OCD but my mind is so convincing I’m gonna develop schizophrenia or become delusional. I’m so anxious cause I have other themes mixed into this (such as harm OCD) Any tips?

Username: mlem

Date posted: 4y ago

Hey I'm feeling pretty hopeless right now. Before I get to the main point I'm gonna give some background info: I'm going into my third year of University and it took years of constant denial to get treatment . I originally came in for my skin picking but after multiple appointments I was told I have OCD. I never thought I perfectly fit into having it because I was never organized nor am I a "germaphobe". I later learned everything made sens From being afraid to interact with little children (afraid I would assault them just from staring too long), all the way to staying up all night convinced someone would kill me if I didn't hide all the knives in the house. It took me just one month ago to sleep in my bed alone (after I stopped my rituals with my stuffed animals as a kid I was convinced they will harm me when I least expect it, and sleep beside my mother). It even explained why I had somatic rituals when I was a child (constantly balancing the right and left side of my body with repetitive touching until it felt right). Finally, after switching from cipralex (did not help) to Zoloft (currently on 150mg) I feel as thought my life is coming back. The reason I'm feeling distressed is that my main psychiatrist referred me to a CBT waitlist in a hospital. Well I just had a virtual meeting with him today... And he basically asked if I have cleaning rituals. I said no, I told him about my previous compulsions the first time I talked to him and told him the medication has SIGNIFICANTLY reduced my anxiety and compulsions that I only do two rituals a day (~3 hours). At the end of the appointment he told me that I DON'T HAVE OCD or anxiety and suggested I go off my meds. Now I'm doubting if I have OCD to begin with, even though I fully know I do as my main psychiatrist has been so caring and making sure I recover. It really sucks because I feel pretty invalidated?? Am I overreacting or in the wrong? I don't know how to feel right now. Any input would be appreciated. Thank you

Username: rachhh

Date posted: 2y ago

Just got diagnosed with OCD today. Now I’m doubting/wondering if I actually have it. Or maybe over embellished and am making all of it up for attention. Or maybe I’m not REALLY having intrusive thoughts, or not having them enough. Because I feel like maybe they dwindled down? Idk. What a wonderful loop this is 😂 I thought the diagnosis would help lol!

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