compulsion/self compassion

Through therapy, I've learned some interesting things about the brain. When you do an action so much (in this case a compulsion), your brain moves it from the conscious side to the subconscious. Similar to how you know how to ride a bike, or you can be driving to work, zone out, but still get there safely and think, whoa how did I do that without paying attention. It's because it's a process that your subconscious recognizes so it's automatic. That's also what happens with compulsions. You've done them so much that now they're stuck in the subconscious part of your brain. Your brain just does them without you really knowing. But the fact that you're recognizing that you're doing them, and getting help is great! Like the others said, it's a journey but tell yourself at least you're working on it.

Just understand it’s a learning process and the healing process is an rollercoaster ride with many ups and downs. One of my OCDs is checking the doors often to make sure they are lock. If I do a compulsion and double check the locks I usually say “Damn dude you had it locked and are ahead of the game. Now I know I’m on it and I don’t need to check for next time.”

Sometimes it's hard to win against what our worried brain is telling us. It happens to me a lot too. I haven't really thought of self compassion for myself until I read your question. It's alright, as simply put as that. We can't be expected to cure our compulsions overnight, and progress isn't always an incline. One day in the far future our compulsions won't be as big problems as we put them out to be today

I'm also working through this