- Username
- Anonymous
- Date posted
- 37w ago
For those who have loved ones with OCD false/real
Should you let them share their ruminations and intrusive thoughts with you? How do you listen but not reassure them?
Should you let them share their ruminations and intrusive thoughts with you? How do you listen but not reassure them?
I say just listen. Maybe just change topics without making it noticeable. That’s what I would hope people would do for me. People not listening to me though would not have got me off my thought loop. If it did then it would have just pushed me into depression side of my brain. That’s how I feel but I don’t pretend to be a professional.
@Chickens_Frogs Listening I can definitely do. I like your advice of changing topics but at this point the content of the intrusive thoughts is hard to ignore. They think it happened and I know it sounds too absurd but don’t want to affirm whether it happened or not
It’s indeed a very delicate balance, like being with them and offering a listening ear is undoubtedly the best thing to do, but since it’s OCD and there is a huge chance of reassurance seeking loop to get in. Then one of the best course of action is to listen to them and hear their worries, but at the same time tell them that it’s just OCD, you are safe and well, it’s just OCD messing up and it’s not at all their fault. So we can indeed stop answering their reassurance compulsions at the same time make them understand that there are people for them, and they are definitely not alone in their healing journey and are by no way singled out! Hope it helps!!
@UH52 Thank you appreciate your advice here. By seeking out therapy, what do I hope my partner gets out of these therapy sessions? So far no tools or help provided by the nocd therapist
@Anonymous I totally get it, therapy while incredibly useful does take a lot of time and understanding to start being effective, and it’s often not a linear progress too. And regarding what we might get out of therapy, it completely depends on what is the exact issue we are facing, the severity, the therapist doing, the approach using and all, if it’s ERP, then it’s by gradually exposing to our feared cases and thus slowly making the situation less fearful in the long run, but if it is central CBT (ERP also comes under it) and all it’s changing our unhelpful thought patterns by setting more realistic and helpful patterns in its place. The speed of the therapy, the effectiveness and all is completely dependent on each case! But usually it will make us handle such issues in the long run much better, and make us live a better life despite OCD. Hope it clears somewhat!!
My partner, has been struggling with ocd for about 2 years. How do i help them and know what to say back to them? they are currently seeing a ocd therapist but they still find it hard not to tell me. i was told to not acknowledge them but it’s hard when it’s constant every day. they struggle with ROCD, intrusive thoughts, contamination, and number ocd. i want to help them but it’s hard as someone who dosent have these. Like for example they won’t wear clothes that have touched the door frame, door, wall etc or will tell me their intrusive thoughts and if i ignore they get upset and i just feel bad. i dont want to be a bad partner for not understanding but i am trying and i know it’s hard for them and everyone who struggles with any type of ocd.
I'm wondering if it's better or worse to tell your partner about your ocd thoughts, if you can be specific or if it's better to keep it vague bc it's so distressing to hear the specifics to people who are close or if they're like.. rocd threads. Mostly in the context of when they're strong or compulsions are strong.
Hi everyone, I have a question for anyone else with ROCD. I recently established, with the help of my therapist, that I need to stop talking about my intrusive thoughts to my husband so much, because I’m just ruminating out loud. Do you all even tell your partners when you’re struggling, or do you keep it to yourselves?
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