- Date posted
- 1y
Hocd
Everyone on here keeps saying they know they re str8 but the ocd is making them doubt it. I’m breaking down because i dont even know anything anymore so that must mean its not ocd
Everyone on here keeps saying they know they re str8 but the ocd is making them doubt it. I’m breaking down because i dont even know anything anymore so that must mean its not ocd
Not true! OCD can show up in all sorts of ways and make you doubt everything about yourself. I too struggle with knowing if I’m straight, bi, or gay - I genuinely have no idea. I decided that I don’t need to label myself as anything and just let whatever happens, happen. It’s hard bc I don’t want my fear to be true, but I know I don’t have control over that. It’s very distressing, I feel your pain. You’re not alone in this ❤️
@blazed I dont want to accept the uncertainty bc i just dont want it to be true..
@Thaliaa I know, it’s not easy :( taking the first step is always difficult, but you can do it. You’re capable of doing hard things.
I feel the same way!
I have also been concerned about this, in some texts or articles they mention this and it is as if it seems that the example is people who the only thing they have are intrusive questions although it seems that they can function normally and their only problem is the questions, really since The point I am at I would prefer that this was my case and that despite the questions it could work, but this has affected everything, now I am super sensitive to all stimuli from men, I get very bad and it triggers me a lot, although in the Deep down I know that I don't want to, I won't, I don't expect to act accordingly, I'm afraid of not being able to go back to being who I was or not being able to feel the way I felt, of being condemned, and I don't mean that it's bad, but that it's not bad. It doesn't mean that I have to love it, a while ago my condition wasn't so serious.
@Carlos A I relate to you on so many levels
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
I haven’t been diagnosed with it, but I feel like nothing else describes me better. If you do have this feeling and thoughts, what are some ways to lower your anxiety ?
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