Kygozilox
- Date posted
- 1y
Please relate. The “i want to die” thought?
I have the “i want to die thougt” everyday!!! Is this normal with suicidal ocd?? Anyone relate?
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 1y
I have suicidal ocd and I definitely relate. *I* don't want to die, I love living, but the bugs in my brain keep telling me that I want to die and it gets really hard to deal with. For me, it gets triggered when I'm being understimulated, as it makes me think about the "forever nothing" that is to come. It scares me so bad that my mind tells me that I should just kill myself so I don't have to be scared anymore, which is obviously not proactive or what I want. It's really scary and, at times, debilitating, but just know that these thoughts aren't *your* thoughts! They're just random thoughts that pop through, nothing more. It's hard, but it gets better, and we'll make it through 💪☺️!
Brynnie BearBrynnie Bear
- Date posted
- 1y
I feel like that sometimes too. I don’t want to die but I get thoughts of it.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 1y
I think this in a loop all the time but usually in response to my rocd and shame becoming intense
Mister1979Mister1979
- Date posted
- 1y
I think I had these intrusive thoughts regularly for about 30 years, starting when I was 12. It was occasional for most of that, but got worse when my marriage went south. There was probably about ten years when it was near daily. I was always fortunate, though, in that for the most part I seemed to understand they were intrusive even long before I knew what intrusive thoughts were. I got through it by treating them like they were completely separate from my mind. "Oh, you're still there? Shut up, will you?" " Oh yeah, that's a thing that happens." They still come, rarely, now, and now it's more like I bumped into an old acquaintance is rather not see. It's not you, I promise. But even if they never totally go away, they don't have to get to you; it just takes some work learning to ignore them
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Sarah12
- Date posted
- 25w
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MisterNegative
- Date posted
- 23w
Repeat thoughts
Anyone else have repeated thoughts that play that are negative. Basically a back and forth of you telling yourself you don't want X to happen but having a thought that slips saying you do. Like being stressed out one day and saying "man I wish I were dead". But instead of letting it roll through your mind and thinking nothing of it, you obsess if you actually want that outcome for yourself and you are now scared you'd fatally harm yourself whenever you feel anxious or stressed even though you know you wouldn't. So now I repeatedly get I wanna die stuck in my head and I feel the compulsive need to say no I don't to combat the thoughts and it happens throughout the day and even when I wake up.
smolstitch
- Date posted
- 21w
TW: Suicidal OCD question
Hey y’all. I have suicidal OCD and I feel that it manifests in a strange way. I feel like my brain often encourages me to kill myself. Like my most dominant thought isn’t ’what if you kill yourself’, it’s ’you should kill yourself.’ It tends to amp up every time I make some mistake, even if it’s small. And it definitely gets worse during times of stress. I don’t want to kill myself and I wouldn’t consider myself depressed. But if these thoughts are OCD, and are my brain trying to keep me safe from killing myself, why would it tell me to? I’d appreciate any insight.
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