- Date posted
- 1y ago
Someone please explain
Why is reassurance a bad thing for OCD?
Why is reassurance a bad thing for OCD?
You'll stay in your comfornt zone, and you'll keep wanting MORE reassurance and each time you get it you feel like it's not enough so you CONSTANTLY NEED it and it doesn't help you beat the problem you'll just be simering in it for longer.
Here’s an article about seeking reassurance and why it’s bad for those with OCD. The Psychology of Seeking Reassurance: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/reassurance-seeking-ocd-anxiety-how-to-stop-cycle
It will never be enough. Its bad for ocd because it can be ocd. It's a common compulsion to seek reassurance. It reinforces the walls to your comfort zone but ironically cages you within it. Your comfort zone is like a place of rest at the end of the day. Life gets uncomfortable when you leave it sometimes. Doesn't mean you should avoid going through discomfort especially when it benefits you in the end. Reassurance counteracts all that and provides shelter when you're supposed to be vulnerable. That's when you grow
Seeking reassurance tells your brain that your intrusions are important. And when something is important our brain tends to focus on it more, causing the frequency of the intrusions popping up in your head to go up. The more the intrusions pop up, the more anxiety we feel, the more compulsions we do and the more reassurance we seek. By doing that, we give attention to the intrusions and signal our brain again that they are very important, which leads to our brain focusing on them even more and increasing the frequency of them popping up in our head again goes up. This goes on and on and at some point it turns in to a vicious cycle.
When an intrusive thought comes I can’t just say “that’s not true” and just move on. I always feel like I have to disprove the thought and be able to say it with confidence but the problem is that the ocd doesn’t allow me to feel and say it with confidence so I get stuck for hours or even days. How can I stop feeling like I need to do this?
So, I know my capacity to get fixated on things. And it's normally something that's relatively remote but, my latest issue is really getting to me and I was wondering if people have any advice. I'm avoiding getting too into specifics, as I don't want this to get reassurance-y but, in essence.. I came to the realisation recently that people who I'd been "friends" (feels like the wrong term now) when I was younger were not very nice people, and normalized a lot of very unpleasant behaviour towards other members of the group. They really normalized it, sold themselves as figures of authority, as older and more responsible and grown-up than others, and looking back, they acted horribly. And coming to this realisation, that I'd been manipulated into just accepting their behaviour has just... broken me. My OCD has latched onto it and I can't stop feeling irreversibly tainted by it. I've talked to others about it, and they've reassured me, told me it's not a big deal and that I hold myself to too high a standard, but none of that sticks. I feel better for a bit, then think 'Maybe when you told them you were skewing it to make yourself look better' or 'Did you leave out a crucial detail'. I keep ruminating over and over, trying to remember exactly how everything played out, trying to figure out if I fed into the behaviour, if I did something bad myself (because y'know, I feel like I was accepting of it at the time, so what does it say about my own values?). I know I need to stop doing all this if I want to improve, but then some part of me keeps saying 'So, you're just going to let yourself off the hook then?' Normally, I can rationalize my own fears to some degree, assure myself something won't happen, but the realness of the situation, and the fact I only came to understand the reality of it because the thought had been bothering me means it feels so much more all-encompassing. I know confessing in itself is a compulsion, but I keep feeling that if I'm not I'm somehow concealing what I 'really am' from others around me, and any positive interactions are me deceiving them in some way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life right now, and a good part of me feels I should not enjoy it ever again. If anybody has any advice on it, I'm all ears. Or even hearing if you relate to these feelings, I might appreciate the solidarity at least.
Hello! I just got diagnosed with OCD a week ago and joined the app today to find a sense of community. Since my understanding of treatment is minimal at this point, I'm confused why everything on here tells us not to seek or give reassurance? If someone could explain the reasoning behind that it would be greatly appreciated, as I want to make sure I'm not only watching out for it in my personal life but also using this app appropriately.
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