I was watching tik toks and I saw Heathers “Martha Dumptruck in the flesh, here comes the cootie squad” that one. Anyway I decided to read up on what it’s about. It’s really violent, a lot of killing and suicide stuff and one part of it talked about blowing up the school. It was terrible. Then my harm ocd started up again “what if you did any of that.” “You want to.” “You’ll find a way to do it.” I said no I won’t, I’m not that kind of person. I’m scared what if I want to. I doubt I’ll want to kill some one or blow stuff up because that’s terrible to do, but it feels so real I don’t even trust my self, I regret reading up on it. I should’ve just enjoyed the tik tok and moved on with my life

Take it as an exposure. Let the thoughts come through and don't resist them or give into compulsions. Maybe even watch the tiki tok again or read up on it again. And repeat the process

You have to understand that sometimes bad things happen in the world for some reasons we don't know ,I know that ocd is making you doubt yourself but the bad things are only in your head and you know is not something that you without ocd would think of doing so practically you are free but this illness puts you in uncomfortable situations like it did now and it was triggered by something that can harm others and it scares you it's completely normal There are people in the world that don't have empathy and can't figure out that what they do harms others you on the other hand are the exact opposite you take someone else's problems (in your own mind) and put yourself in the position of the person who did the wrong thing and the disturbing feelings you get are a normal response because you understand the gravity of the situation But what you have to get is that you didn't do anything and you won't because you know what is wrong ,also it's ok to have unwelcoming thoughts when you hear about those things because you are human It's all fine You understand the gravity of the situation at a level that affects you emotionally more then it can affect others As a result you feel the way you feel

You are not responsible for the bad things that happened Ocd makes you feel uncomfortable because that's what it does We have to live with it I know you won't ever harm others because form what I read you care about the wellbeing of those around you I know you are stronger than those stupid thoughts that keep appearing in your head but hey you can conquer I have to add this When I'm saying that you have to live with this (I think you can get rid of it there are people that can live their lives freely after a while it gets better so much better that you can do everyday activities without getting thoughts like this) Ok so what I'm trying to say is that when you get comfortable with the idea that people in very rare occasions driven by god knows what(it seems like there are many cases but that's just because they are highlighted by tv and even some times creations of writers for a more impactful story)do what they do you don't lose the sens of danger that they trigger, you only lower it to make it more bearable you know what I mean? It's not like if you get comfortable with the idea that this type of things may occur in fiction or reality you lose the understanding of the outcome of those actions You have empathy and even if ocd makes you think you have the potential of being dangerous you just don't Don't let it trick you like this cuz you deserve better

I understand that it can take a while till you recover from what you read and try to keep yourself busy so your disturbing thoughts are less likely to pop up When I get this kinda stuff I do maths or I try to learn something new like a programming language Take it as an opportunity to develop new skills it is better than worrying for something that doesn't affect you Also meditation helps but it can be hard in the beginning but the results are worth it It helps you concentrate and makes you more aware of your own thoughts so you can distinguish much more easily that there are things out there that worry you for no reason It sounds like an ad for a meditation app lol anyway I hope I helped And whatever you go through remember that I believe that you are a good person and with time this whole ocd thing will no longer bother you just be smarter then it is

You guys are awesome thanks