- Date posted
- 1y
Jealousy
I'm jealous that other people can find a therapist and get better and I cant
I'm jealous that other people can find a therapist and get better and I cant
This is a mood and a half. I have been comparing myself to others' experiences a lot lately. But what I keep reminding myself is that I wouldn't wish this on anyone, so why would I sit here and be like what the heck!? why are more people not this miserable?!" I started listening to a good (free!!) audiobook on audible (I just signed up for a free trial and then you can cancel but keep the book if you downloaded it) that has been helping with this kind of thinking -- "Everyday Mindfulness for OCD" by SHala Nicely and Jon Hershfield
Are you feeling jealous or anxious? I can relate to this. At times, I worry/ruminate that if I don't do the "right" thing I won't be ok. If you have to be certain that you're going to the "right" therapist then this thought could be a trick of OCD. Now I will say that if you're not going to a therapist who's familiar with OCD then it would be helpful to go to someone who is. Also, there are helpful books out there that people have used to learn to live with OCD and have wonderful lives.
I might be anxious since I feel like I'm never going to get better and there's a million road blocks
@Anonymous - I'm sorry you're going through this rough time. It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed with what feels like too many things to do and learn and grow in. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. This journey will involve taking one step at time. I'm not a therapist at all so keep that in mind... Part of this journey is learning to become ok with experiencing uncomfortable things. When we accept anxiety and don't fight it, it looses it's power. We all get discouraged and overwhelmed at times, that's ok, we CAN do it! Anxiety/OCD wants to stay in control but you have the ability to choose, though it wants to trick you into thinking you can't. It wants to discourage you. But you CAN choose to believe you can! There will be steps forward and steps back but it's ok. You ABSOLUTELY CAN and WILL get better.
I feel like I'm not ocd enough to deserve treatment . I don't feel as bad as other people do.
If you have been thinking about looking into therapy but you haven't yet, what's holding you back? Maybe the support of the community can help you take that step to feeling better!
I just feel like therapy isn’t working… like I get to talk about myself and understand myself… but I’m already incredibly self aware. My therapist thought I was like 5 years older than I am… and she gives me such basic strategies that do absolutely nothing for me. And a psychiatrist prescribed me with Zoloft… but I don’t know if T want to take medication. I’m scared of side effects… and I’m scared of getting better… I’m scared of letting my guard down. I know it will make me less cautious which makes me less likely to push myself to perfection like I currently do, which I can’t have happen. Every time I talk to my mom about it, she’s always like “Let’s talk about this some other time, I’m busy with other things”, and then never remembers. But in the rare moments we do talk about it, she treats it like I’m signing up to be a drug addict. I also feel very guilty for spending so much of my parents’ money- therapy… medication… etc… and also the idea of my being unlovable is so deeply engraved in my brain… I genuinely, truly believe it. No therapy or medication can fix it. I can’t change my mind. My therapist tells me my misophonia is not a “deal-breaker” and that someone would be lucky to have me as a partner… but then why hasn’t anyone ever liked me? My own FAMILY can’t stand me. How do I believe something I know isn’t true? That’s even harder to accept than me being unlovable. I can’t see someone loving me. And it is so incredibly exhausting to seek love,e I know I cannot have. My sister says, “It will get better with age…” It has only ever gotten worse. To the point I don’t want to get better. It has reached the severity where I feel more safe and successful with anxiety. My past 3 birthdays have been me wishing for therapy. And now I have therpay- and medication, the potential key… and I refuse? Am I too deep in? I cant get out, it’s too late. How did absolutely no one notice how much I had and have been hurting? Why did no one listen to my cries or worries? I feel really depressed and hopeless right now. It takes so much effort to get up every day… I’m so tired.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond