- Date posted
- 1y
Jealousy
I'm jealous that other people can find a therapist and get better and I cant
I'm jealous that other people can find a therapist and get better and I cant
This is a mood and a half. I have been comparing myself to others' experiences a lot lately. But what I keep reminding myself is that I wouldn't wish this on anyone, so why would I sit here and be like what the heck!? why are more people not this miserable?!" I started listening to a good (free!!) audiobook on audible (I just signed up for a free trial and then you can cancel but keep the book if you downloaded it) that has been helping with this kind of thinking -- "Everyday Mindfulness for OCD" by SHala Nicely and Jon Hershfield
Are you feeling jealous or anxious? I can relate to this. At times, I worry/ruminate that if I don't do the "right" thing I won't be ok. If you have to be certain that you're going to the "right" therapist then this thought could be a trick of OCD. Now I will say that if you're not going to a therapist who's familiar with OCD then it would be helpful to go to someone who is. Also, there are helpful books out there that people have used to learn to live with OCD and have wonderful lives.
I might be anxious since I feel like I'm never going to get better and there's a million road blocks
@Anonymous - I'm sorry you're going through this rough time. It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed with what feels like too many things to do and learn and grow in. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. This journey will involve taking one step at time. I'm not a therapist at all so keep that in mind... Part of this journey is learning to become ok with experiencing uncomfortable things. When we accept anxiety and don't fight it, it looses it's power. We all get discouraged and overwhelmed at times, that's ok, we CAN do it! Anxiety/OCD wants to stay in control but you have the ability to choose, though it wants to trick you into thinking you can't. It wants to discourage you. But you CAN choose to believe you can! There will be steps forward and steps back but it's ok. You ABSOLUTELY CAN and WILL get better.
I can't stop thinking about ending my life. I feel like I'm not even living, I'm just surviving. Everyone is capable of being a person and functioning and I'm just stuck here avoiding everything. My psychiatrist said my ocd is severe and it will all take time and I'll start erp and I'm already on medication but I just feel so depressed and like I won't be able to handle erp and it's already too late for me. I feel inhuman, it's debilitating. My major theme is just fear or contamination, I can't even make myself a meal I can't touch anything in the kitchen. I get stuck in the shower for 2 hours and when I don't shower because I'm depressed I feel like a walking germ. My hands are a mess, my school work is shit, I avoid and avoid and I'm just so tired of "living" like this. My psychiatrist said they don't have any therapists available right now like.... excuse me? What do you mean u don't have any 😭 I honestly don't even know why I'm typing this becuase nothing helps, nothing ever will. I'm so deep into this I can't get out, my room looks like shit, I can't live in this body anymore, I really can't. I let everyone down, I am and will be such a dissapointment. I don't have any dreams or goals or passions I just wasn't made to be here. I don't know how or who to ask for help like there's nothing anyone can do, I'm already on meds. I can't keep being like this, seeing everyone judge me for acting insane.
I feel really scared and worried that the therapist I find on NOCD might not be effective, and instead of getting better, I might end up feeling worse. I’m afraid that if I don’t feel any progress, I’ll want to switch therapists, but my mom might get impatient with me. I worry that she’ll lose faith in therapy, stop paying for it, and think it’s a waste of time and money. I know therapy takes time and it’s not a quick fix, but I’m scared that things won’t go the way I hope. What if I don’t connect with the therapist? What if they don’t understand my OCD as well as I need them to? I’ve already been struggling so much, and the thought of going through another disappointment is exhausting. I’m only 14, and I feel stuck because I can’t manage this on my own. I need help, but I also need my mom to stay patient and supportive through this process. I’m scared that if things don’t improve fast enough, she’ll give up on paying for therapy. I don’t know what to do, and it’s making me feel really anxious. I just want to get better, but what if nothing works out?
If you have been thinking about looking into therapy but you haven't yet, what's holding you back? Maybe the support of the community can help you take that step to feeling better!
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