- Date posted
- 45w ago
Identity
Am i not authentically straight if i choose to identify based on how i want to live my life and how i want to be attracted vs if i have attractions that fall into the category
Am i not authentically straight if i choose to identify based on how i want to live my life and how i want to be attracted vs if i have attractions that fall into the category
You may find this answer to be a little infuriating but you can be whatever you want to me. You don’t need to have an answer to this question. The thing that wants you to find the answer to this question only wants you to think that there is an answer, but there is no answer that is 100%. The best thing I can recommend is to acknowledge how those thoughts make you feel, ex.I acknowledge that these thoughts make me feel anxious” or “Yep, that could be true, I might never know the answer to that”and then try your best to move on. This is not like a cold that will just go away though. This is something that takes a lot of practice and I recommend finding a therapist trained in ERP therapy and looking into that
@Zoroarcanine I really needed to read that. I’ve had a really bad day today
@AmandaB345 I’m really sorry to hear that! I’ve had my fair share of bad days and I’m sure I’ll still have more. I’m glad this was able to help you and I really hope your day turns around!
@Zoroarcanine Thank you!! I’ve had about 3 crying sessions today. But I’m starting to comeback to me slowly
@Zoroarcanine Sexual orientation is not a choice
@Neytiri You’re 100% correct, and guess who loves that fact? OCD. I had a reoccurring thought during therapy that was: “People don’t get to choose their sexual orientation so what gives you the right to” While not definite for every case, I believe the majority of people who go through SO OCD, that identify as straight, are ally’s of the lgbtqia+ community, and I’ve found my OCD to love that. In the midst of trying to crawl out of the hole SO OCD puts people in, seeing the difference between choosing your orientation and knowing what you are feels like it is impossible to see. No one chooses their orientation but we also don’t need to spend hours trying to find the absolute right answer
Relate to this sooo much! I feel like I live by this reassurance sometimes and it helps for a bit but then I get awful feelings like I’m not fulfilled in life …that’s my worst symptom recently and then I worry that’s because I’m “hiding” my true self and I go round in circles in my brain …and I’m only anxious cause something isn’t right 🥰
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I am scared we just cannot choose. Sexual orientation is not a choice :-(
Ok so I’m a 17 year old female, and I’ve always thought I was straight. But I just really want to know how you would know the difference between so-ocd and actually questioning your sexuality. I have nothing against the LGBTQ community (in fact I am very much a token straight friend, lol) but I saw a video about comp-het recently and it sort of felt like what I was experiencing. I don’t want to be gay, I want to be with men, I want to like men, I’ve always liked men, but now I’m questioning whether or not that’s real? Because people can be gay but not want to be right? I’m single and I always have been. I think women are gorgeous, but when I try to imagine actually having any sort of romantic or sexual relationship with a woman it feels wrong, at least most of the time it does? Sometimes I’m less sure, and I’ve never been particularly boy crazy. I’ve liked maybe 2 or 3 people in my life, (not to say I’ve never found other guys attractive, but it doesn’t seem to be as often as most people) I have no particular reason to be afraid of being gay, very supportive family, safe area ect, but I don’t want to be, does that mean this is ocd, I don’t know what’s going on every time I say I’m straight I feel like I’m lying, but that might just be because I think about it so much. The idea of being with a woman doesn’t feel like something I would want, but is that just because I don’t want to want it? People online say things with so much sureness, if you feel like this it means this. Ect.
I feel so sad, alone, scared and hopeless. Until two months ago there was not even the remote possibility of being anything other than heterosexual and now the idea that I could find out that I was lesbian or bisexual terrifies me to death. Everything was born from the fact that I didn't feel sexual desire towards my ex-boyfriend and I started to be afraid that it was because I was a lesbian... how can I be a lesbian or bisexual if everything was born from this? I would like to run away from myself and my head. I would really like to go back and go back to my life before. I can't take it anymore. I just want to live my life like before
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
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