- Username
- ocdhelplol
- Date posted
- 40w ago
Identity
Am i not authentically straight if i choose to identify based on how i want to live my life and how i want to be attracted vs if i have attractions that fall into the category
Am i not authentically straight if i choose to identify based on how i want to live my life and how i want to be attracted vs if i have attractions that fall into the category
You may find this answer to be a little infuriating but you can be whatever you want to me. You don’t need to have an answer to this question. The thing that wants you to find the answer to this question only wants you to think that there is an answer, but there is no answer that is 100%. The best thing I can recommend is to acknowledge how those thoughts make you feel, ex.I acknowledge that these thoughts make me feel anxious” or “Yep, that could be true, I might never know the answer to that”and then try your best to move on. This is not like a cold that will just go away though. This is something that takes a lot of practice and I recommend finding a therapist trained in ERP therapy and looking into that
@Zoroarcanine I really needed to read that. I’ve had a really bad day today
@AmandaB345 I’m really sorry to hear that! I’ve had my fair share of bad days and I’m sure I’ll still have more. I’m glad this was able to help you and I really hope your day turns around!
@Zoroarcanine Thank you!! I’ve had about 3 crying sessions today. But I’m starting to comeback to me slowly
@Zoroarcanine Sexual orientation is not a choice
@Neytiri You’re 100% correct, and guess who loves that fact? OCD. I had a reoccurring thought during therapy that was: “People don’t get to choose their sexual orientation so what gives you the right to” While not definite for every case, I believe the majority of people who go through SO OCD, that identify as straight, are ally’s of the lgbtqia+ community, and I’ve found my OCD to love that. In the midst of trying to crawl out of the hole SO OCD puts people in, seeing the difference between choosing your orientation and knowing what you are feels like it is impossible to see. No one chooses their orientation but we also don’t need to spend hours trying to find the absolute right answer
Relate to this sooo much! I feel like I live by this reassurance sometimes and it helps for a bit but then I get awful feelings like I’m not fulfilled in life …that’s my worst symptom recently and then I worry that’s because I’m “hiding” my true self and I go round in circles in my brain …and I’m only anxious cause something isn’t right 🥰
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I am scared we just cannot choose. Sexual orientation is not a choice :-(
It feels like my boyfriend is ‘another compulsion” because he makes me happy and that is what ocd does, but when he is gone, my mind can go everywhere. Mostly thinking im not attracted to men (im bi and for some reason i feel like i have to choose 1 gender, and that that would be women) even though i know that i dont have to choose and can just be happy with my bf. But then my mind can go “but are you happy” or “youre not aroused right now or aroused enough so your gay or you dont like bf” Thats really hard, because my one of my biggest fears is being with a man all my life (having a family etc) and then falling in love with a woman and throw it all away. I really really love my boyfriend, but it can feel like this is not my real identity and im doing the wrong thing. Like when im not thinking about it, if thats maybe my ocd and not the overthinking. Does anyone understand?
SOOCD sufferers! Do you sometimes worry that you're true attraction is your false attraction and vice versa? and that you actually dont really know what true attraction is but if you go with the unwated sex you will know? Ima actually really struggeling between finding someone attractive and being attracted to someone.... I'm a straight female (I think) and I recognise a beautiful women more than a handsome men. Like I wasnt really attracted to my bf's body before actually being with him. However since in my mind, the female body has "more" if feels like I'll feel more if Im with a women? ughh soo weird. Like I dont see a men's naked body and automaticcaly get turned on, I have to be intimate with him for that to happen? honetsly between that and the romantic feelings that I feel like are not "enough" it really sounds like denial even if my therapist really diagnosed me. UGH
Hi everyone, Lately, I’ve been feeling confused and anxious about my sexuality, which has been challenging to navigate. I’ve always identified as straight and am currently in a happy relationship with my boyfriend. However, I’ve recently started questioning if I might have some attraction to women, which has caused me a lot of anxiety. To be clear, I’ve never experienced romantic or physical attraction toward women in real life, but I have watched lesbian porn in the past. Now, I can’t help but worry that this might mean I’m attracted to women after all. On top of this, I’ve noticed a decrease in my sexual desire for my boyfriend, which only intensifies my concerns about both my sexual orientation and my relationship. This confusion is something I’ve never dealt with before, and it’s starting to take an emotional toll. If anyone has experienced something similar, I would really appreciate any advice or insights on how you worked through it. What helped you find clarity? Someone mentioned that my anxiety might be OCD-related, though I’m not familiar with OCD in this context. I’d love to hear from anyone with experience in navigating these kinds of thoughts or anxiety. I’m open to any personal stories, resources, or guidance on how to approach this situation, both for myself and in communication with my partner. I want to better understand what I’m feeling without being overwhelmed by fear. Thank you in advance for your support!
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