Doglover93
- Date posted
- 1y
Having a partner without OCD
Who has had challenges with this and how have you coped? I have found this extremely tough in my 6 year relationship.
Jesse1982 Jesse1982
- Date posted
- 1y
My partner doesn't have ocd, she knows i have it but has know idea how I suffer 24/7
Doglover93Doglover93
- Date posted
- 1y
@Jesse1982 Yeah it can be difficult. I’ve had to learn to be okay with and understand the fact that no one understands me 100 percent just like I don’t understand someone else 100 percent. This includes your partner but yeah it sure can create conflicts.
Wolfram Wolfram
- Date posted
- 1y
I've had that but when I was undiagnosed and had no idea how to deal with it, so no personal advice. My mum and dad have been together for 35+ years . My mum has ocd and my dad doesn't. My friend has ocd and her bf doesn't and they've been together a few years. What works for them is that the partner knows what ocd is and what's good and bad for it. I was reassured in a relationship for 4 years because I thought that's what I needed but it's actually just what my ocd wanted, it only made me worse. If they love you and care, they will be willing to help you. Stay strong
Doglover93Doglover93
- Date posted
- 1y
@Wolfram I know what you mean. It’s just hard because due to my lack of control over my OCD right now, I’ll ruminate about a prior conversation and am all wound up by the time we bring up the topic (I had rehearsed my points for many hours each day) that I can end up saying such mean things 😞 He does his best to differentiate me saying things because I’m feeling wound up due to my mental health stuff that he is aware of, but it’s so unfair to him, he is so incredibly overwhelmed by it understandably, and I just know that it’s something I need to help myself with. I think it can make me a very toxic during heated discussions and while disagreements are a 2 way street, my ocd renders mutual collaborative discussions impossible.
regretfulrainregretfulrain
- Date posted
- 1y
It has been a tough ride but him and I are both seeking help. The biggest thing is communication and letting your partner know what intrusive thoughts are going on and what they can do to support you.
helloheyhi1234helloheyhi1234
- Date posted
- 1y
@regretfulrain I dont think its best telling them the actual intrusive thought, but telling them ur not feeling well and going through it at the moment
regretfulrainregretfulrain
- Date posted
- 1y
@minionlovef I disagree but I can only talk from my own relationship. I found that my partner knowing what my intrusive thoughts are saying has helped him understand me a lot more.
ambermayxambermayx
- Date posted
- 1y
It gets in the way all the time it’s horrible and makes me feel like I’m ruining the relationship all the time In my 3 and a half year relationship it’s caused massive arguments,a break up, it’s gotten in the way of sex but none of that is his fault because we didn’t know it was all ocd until the middle of last year and we are trying to work through it but it just gets in the way so much I feel horrible because I’m constantly mad / sad and it causes arguments and makes me feel out of control Especially when I can’t identify what is ocd and what is not so it’s hard to say to him if it’s ocd or not
Doglover93Doglover93
- Date posted
- 1y
@ambermayx I feel you through and through
Related posts
Anonymous
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 19w
Dating someone with worse OCD
I’ve struggled a lot with mental illness (severe social anxiety, depression, OCD), but have done a lot of work to get to the great place that I’m at now. I feel like a different person compared to how I felt a few years ago. Here’s my question: I started seeing someone really important to me. We’re not official yet, but we’ve been in each others lives for years and it feels like it’s the real deal. He struggles with OCD, and it’s much worse than mine ever was. My question is, do you think this is healthy for me, as someone who has done the work to get to a better place? He’s not in therapy, he’s against medication (I love my meds — they changed my life), and is generally in a different place than I am mentally.
Jpais28
- Date posted
- 19w
ROCD advice help for supporting partner
I am at a very difficult spot in my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, and I have a history of cheating that for years we’ve been trying to work through. To me, it makes a lot of sense that my OCD has attached itself to this and for the last few years I’ve experienced intrusive sexual thoughts of others and relationship ocd. I have been open to him about the content of my thoughts and now, with a proper diagnosis of an anxiety disorder, I am able to reframe them and work through them with ERP so that my brain will *hopefully* get bored and stop sending them. But, things have not been easy. As a result of this and everything in our past, he has become anxious about all the scenarios where I could be having sexualized thoughts about other people. To him, if I am thinking something utterly different than what I am telling him or acting like to him, he can’t fully trust it. And of course, I can imagine how difficult it is to know your life partner is sexualizing others in her brain and to be able find a way to dismiss them as unthreatening, especially when past mistakes say otherwise. Is there anyone that has gone through this with a partner? And other than repeatedly explaining the egodystonic nature of my thoughts and providing reassurance, what are some things you did that helped them? Any advice helps! Thank you
Unstoppable ...
- Date posted
- 12w
Relationship OCD
Hi I'm new to all of this so I hope I'm doing this right. 5 years ago my 34 year marriage ended. My ex husband was a mentally and financially abusive, covert narcissist. All that is behind me now and I'm finally remembering who I am again. I'm in a relationship with a really great guy but the problem I'm having is relationship OCD. This has taken me by surprise really as I've had OCD from a very young age but never has it been about my relationship. I constantly check messages and go over and over conversations and convince myself my partner will eventually cheat. Almost every single person in his life I can feel threatened by and I hate this for him and also for me as I don't have any peace of mind. This is ruining the lovely relationship I know I could have so I really need to get a handle on it. Has anybody else experienced this and managed to control it?
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