- Username
- Doglover93
- Date posted
- 29w ago
Having a partner without OCD
Who has had challenges with this and how have you coped? I have found this extremely tough in my 6 year relationship.
Who has had challenges with this and how have you coped? I have found this extremely tough in my 6 year relationship.
My partner doesn't have ocd, she knows i have it but has know idea how I suffer 24/7
@Jesse1982 Yeah it can be difficult. I’ve had to learn to be okay with and understand the fact that no one understands me 100 percent just like I don’t understand someone else 100 percent. This includes your partner but yeah it sure can create conflicts.
I've had that but when I was undiagnosed and had no idea how to deal with it, so no personal advice. My mum and dad have been together for 35+ years . My mum has ocd and my dad doesn't. My friend has ocd and her bf doesn't and they've been together a few years. What works for them is that the partner knows what ocd is and what's good and bad for it. I was reassured in a relationship for 4 years because I thought that's what I needed but it's actually just what my ocd wanted, it only made me worse. If they love you and care, they will be willing to help you. Stay strong
@Wolfram I know what you mean. It’s just hard because due to my lack of control over my OCD right now, I’ll ruminate about a prior conversation and am all wound up by the time we bring up the topic (I had rehearsed my points for many hours each day) that I can end up saying such mean things 😞 He does his best to differentiate me saying things because I’m feeling wound up due to my mental health stuff that he is aware of, but it’s so unfair to him, he is so incredibly overwhelmed by it understandably, and I just know that it’s something I need to help myself with. I think it can make me a very toxic during heated discussions and while disagreements are a 2 way street, my ocd renders mutual collaborative discussions impossible.
It has been a tough ride but him and I are both seeking help. The biggest thing is communication and letting your partner know what intrusive thoughts are going on and what they can do to support you.
@regretfulrain I dont think its best telling them the actual intrusive thought, but telling them ur not feeling well and going through it at the moment
@minionlovef I disagree but I can only talk from my own relationship. I found that my partner knowing what my intrusive thoughts are saying has helped him understand me a lot more.
It gets in the way all the time it’s horrible and makes me feel like I’m ruining the relationship all the time In my 3 and a half year relationship it’s caused massive arguments,a break up, it’s gotten in the way of sex but none of that is his fault because we didn’t know it was all ocd until the middle of last year and we are trying to work through it but it just gets in the way so much I feel horrible because I’m constantly mad / sad and it causes arguments and makes me feel out of control Especially when I can’t identify what is ocd and what is not so it’s hard to say to him if it’s ocd or not
@ambermayx I feel you through and through
My partner has ROCD and we’ve struggled a lot to keep our relationship healthy because of it. We broke up temporarily because it was so hard for me to deal with him being so distant when he was stuck in thought loops and when he would share all the doubts he thought about me it would make me extremely insecure. We are back together now and trying to create healthy boundaries. His ROCD makes me feel like I’m the only one rooting for us and holding us together. I am beginning to take the time to research more about OCD to better understand what he is going through and figure out the best way to support him. I just get so overwhelmed that he will never be happy with me. Any advice?
Is anyone's partner forcing them to get over their OCD? I've been dealing with OCD for over 14 years and never really tried to seek out help. I tried CBT a few years ago but didn't really benefit from it so I gave it up after a few months. Fast forward to today, I just got off the phone with my girlfriend who confessed how troubled she is by the severity of my OCD. She's always been accepting of it and even said she found it cute and endearing, but after spending a lot more time together recently she's realized it's a lot more serious than she ever considered. We've talked about having kids for a while now and she just dropped this bomb on me that she doesn't want to a raise a kid in a household that is suffering from a disorder this powerful. While I understand where she's coming from, a part of me does find it a bit unfair that she's asking me to undergo so much change while I would never ask her to do anything comparable. She has so many hesitations about modern medicine and vaccines, and while that bothers me a lot, I don't really mention it because to each their own. But now that I'm being a bit cornered into seeking therapy, I'm now considering bringing all these things up. If I'm willing to seek therapy and get better, why can't she do the same and start trusting medicine a bit more? I'm trusting ERP and CBT, going out on a limb to give therapy one more shot, even seeking out books on hacking my brain to try and get over OCD. How do I go about making her see that if I'm willing to do this for our future family, then she should be willing to start trusting medicine and vaccines as well for the sake of our future kids?
My boyfriend has ROCD and it can get tough or discouraging at times but I’m in it for the long haul. Does anyone have any affirmations that help them?
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