- Date posted
- 1y
Having a partner without OCD
Who has had challenges with this and how have you coped? I have found this extremely tough in my 6 year relationship.
Who has had challenges with this and how have you coped? I have found this extremely tough in my 6 year relationship.
My partner doesn't have ocd, she knows i have it but has know idea how I suffer 24/7
@Jesse1982 Yeah it can be difficult. I’ve had to learn to be okay with and understand the fact that no one understands me 100 percent just like I don’t understand someone else 100 percent. This includes your partner but yeah it sure can create conflicts.
I've had that but when I was undiagnosed and had no idea how to deal with it, so no personal advice. My mum and dad have been together for 35+ years . My mum has ocd and my dad doesn't. My friend has ocd and her bf doesn't and they've been together a few years. What works for them is that the partner knows what ocd is and what's good and bad for it. I was reassured in a relationship for 4 years because I thought that's what I needed but it's actually just what my ocd wanted, it only made me worse. If they love you and care, they will be willing to help you. Stay strong
@Wolfram I know what you mean. It’s just hard because due to my lack of control over my OCD right now, I’ll ruminate about a prior conversation and am all wound up by the time we bring up the topic (I had rehearsed my points for many hours each day) that I can end up saying such mean things 😞 He does his best to differentiate me saying things because I’m feeling wound up due to my mental health stuff that he is aware of, but it’s so unfair to him, he is so incredibly overwhelmed by it understandably, and I just know that it’s something I need to help myself with. I think it can make me a very toxic during heated discussions and while disagreements are a 2 way street, my ocd renders mutual collaborative discussions impossible.
It has been a tough ride but him and I are both seeking help. The biggest thing is communication and letting your partner know what intrusive thoughts are going on and what they can do to support you.
@regretfulrain I dont think its best telling them the actual intrusive thought, but telling them ur not feeling well and going through it at the moment
@minionlovef I disagree but I can only talk from my own relationship. I found that my partner knowing what my intrusive thoughts are saying has helped him understand me a lot more.
It gets in the way all the time it’s horrible and makes me feel like I’m ruining the relationship all the time In my 3 and a half year relationship it’s caused massive arguments,a break up, it’s gotten in the way of sex but none of that is his fault because we didn’t know it was all ocd until the middle of last year and we are trying to work through it but it just gets in the way so much I feel horrible because I’m constantly mad / sad and it causes arguments and makes me feel out of control Especially when I can’t identify what is ocd and what is not so it’s hard to say to him if it’s ocd or not
@ambermayx I feel you through and through
Last night I was staying at my boyfriend’s house and couldn’t sleep. I felt like i desperately needed to go back to my parents and clean and organize my room. This has happened a few times before when I was staying at his place. Since then he’s been very upset with me. Does anyone else’s partner do this? Any advice? It’s been hard. He’s made me feel so shameful for having OCD. As if it’s not tough enough /:
Hi everyone. I’m having a really hard time today in my relationship. I am just feeling so frustrated by my back-and-forth feelings about my relationship. One day I’ll feel so good, and then the next I don’t at all. I think my biggest trigger in the house is the chores that the two of us have to do in the house. I’m much more of a clean person than my boyfriend is. I’m also thinking that he has ADHD and struggles to remember when to do specific chores and I have to remind him pretty often, but he will usually do it when I ask. Today, I’m on a huge spiral of telling myself that he is never gonna be able to learn to do things on his own, he’s not gonna be able to take care of our kids in the future If we do get married, he’s not gonna be able to help take care of our house when we do have one one day, And I am just exhausted. It’s so hard fighting these thoughts all day and then I feel like I have to sit down and talk to him about chores and obviously that doesn’t go well when I’m not feeling good. Definitely a compulsion… It feels so much better when I can just relax and just let him figure things out on his own, and I can just take care of myself. I also come from a household where I was constantly criticized and controlled in certain ways, so I have that to carry too…I’ve gotten much better at doing that most of the time but today is pretty bad. It always feels a little bit worse as well when I’m on my period and feeling very hormonal as well… Can anyone please shed some light on if they’ve experienced this before and any support they might be able to offer in relation to this? Anything would be helpful and please be kind!
Hey guys! My boyfriend has said recently that he doesn't know if he's strong enough to continue with our relationship because of my OCD. He wants to see me overcome my symptoms and learn to live a healthy life with OCD, but my anxieties and obsessions are starting to really affect his life. I understand his reasoning, it's hard to see someone you care about struggle with OCD, especially when it starts to affect you too. I'm asking for tips to deal with my compulsions in the relationship. I HAVE to know the answer to things and sometimes that leads into arguments because even with apologies and discussions I can't let things go, even if they genuinely don't matter or are miniscule issues we have. It's a healthy relationship otherwise but I feel horrible because it's impacting him so negatively, that's the absolute last thing I want to happen. I care for him deeply and he cares for me too, so I don't want my OCD to be a reason we break up but I fear it's headed in that direction. I'm starting therapy soon, but until then what are some things I can do to stop my ROCD from impacting him? I know sitting in the guilt and anxiety of not completing my obsessions will help, but I'm wondering if there are other things I can do to maybe remedy some of the damage already done.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond