- Username
- Panicattack45
- Date posted
- 22w ago
Am I an abuser for a childhood incident with my brother?
Am I an abuser??
This may make someone uncomfortable. My brother and I have shared a room and bed for our whole lives. I’m a girl by the way. When I was 10 and he was 8, I very slightly pulled down his diaper to smell his fart when he was asleep. For some reason, I liked the smell of farts at that age and I don’t anymore. I’m really scared that I abused him. I told him about this and he doesn’t care and he said it’s not a big deal since we were young. But the guilt is eating me alive. I feel like I sexually abused my own brother. Just to be clear, I’m not attracted to him AT ALL. I never have been. The reason I’m so guilty is because he was asleep. And I don’t remember if I had done it for arousal or not. But if I did, then it would be sexual abuse. I would never ever do anything like this today. I looked it up on AI and it said that this was sexual abuse. I’m terrified. I’ve never ever had thoughts of abusing him and I’m scared that this could possibly be abuse. I haven’t been able to eat or sleep because I feel like I abused my own brother. I’ve had crippling anxiety all day and I’ve had several panic attacks. Please help me. And also please be honest. Am I an abuser?