- Date posted
- 1y
Grief & OCD
TW: Parent loss My OCD has spiked since losing my mom in March. Like my nesting is trying to find its new obsession to hold onto. Not sure how much more of this Iām going to take.
TW: Parent loss My OCD has spiked since losing my mom in March. Like my nesting is trying to find its new obsession to hold onto. Not sure how much more of this Iām going to take.
Sorry for your loss, my condolences š.
@777Q Thank you šš¾
Hi. I lost my mom in 2015. The grief was most intense during the first few years, but even now it lingers. My OCD spiked very hard after losing her and I didnāt know about treatment until after she passed. My condolences to you. It does get better, but the grief never completely goes away. Losing a mother is particular tough, especially if you are young and if you were close.
@Sunflower_93 Iām sorry for your loss. Thank you. Yeah, 4 months later the grief waves have been up & down.
I'm so sorry for your loss ššš. Losing a parent is truly one of the most difficult and scary things to go through. I lost my mom in April. Grief is not talked about enough and neither is OCD. It's so hard to find people who understand what it's like to experience both. Thank you for posting ā¤ļø
@Noemi ā” Thank you. Yes, dealing with both is tough.
*I meant brain not nesting. That was quite a wild autocorrect š¤¦š¾āāļø
I lost my brother almost a month ago. if feels like it was yesterday. my biggest worry is when i snap out of the denial stage of this grief , that iām going to lose my mind. itās a scary feeling and i donāt know what to do. iām still in therapy and donāt plan on stopping either but i just worry. iāve cried here and there but all ive done is keep myself busy and distracted from this. i have my moments - i just am in such disbelief.
I donāt even know where to start because thereās so much going on in my head and it feels like thereās so much evidence for every thought. Like my ocd feels like it doesnāt just have one specific theme itās honestly every theme and it just switches throughout the day depending on the thoughts I have. This started all about a month ago, this whole ocd flare up. Iāve been diagnosed with ocd for about 3 years now and looking back on my childhood, I feel like Iāve had it for probably my entire life. My grandpa just recently died back in February and I feel like this whole ocd spiral is a result of dealing with grief especially because it didnāt even hit me for the whole month of April for some reason and things felt ānormalā. But since this ocd flare up has started Iāve been constantly reviewing and revisiting my past, all my childhood memories and so many of them are terrifying which is weird because I never had a traumatic event hppen to me as a child. I feel like itās always been āself-inflictedā trauma if that makes sense? My mind is telling me so many things related to so many topics like maybe I liked my family member as a kid and have just hid it to fit in with society? That my anxiety as a kid has caught up with me and Iām turning into a psychopath? That Iāve always been a creep and enjoyed looking at peoples privates or chests, etc but just ignored or allowed the thought this whole time. Also before this whole flare up I remember always feeling on autopilot and not really alive like everything I did I just felt numb about it. Which aids my ocd to tell me that these feelings are real and the thoughts are true and that Iām āwaking upā or realizing or something. I havenāt felt such intense anxiety and distress since I was a kid and I didnāt even understand my own thoughts. Itās like Iām either hyper aware or totally unaware of whatās going on around me and it gets me thinking about my existence, personality, what my role in life is and like genuinely what Iām even doing in the moment like whatās the reason behind everything. Iām constantly questioning my intentions because I donāt know if theyāre true or not and itās like my ocd doesnāt even allow me to consider the thought it just jumps to conclusion. Like telling me Iām guilty before proven innocent. It honestly feels like so much at once to even simply call it ocd or anxiety because it feels like a crisis and any moment I could spiral and breakdown completely. Going to school everyday feeling like anytbing could trigger a panic attack at any moment makes me feel like I canāt be left alone with my thoughts. And like overall since I got down this rabbit hole, my first obsession was harm to myself, then it was harm to others specifically my family, then it was being a pervert or pedo, or being attracted or someone or something I shouldnāt be, which then makes me question my existence and who I am along with also being hyper aware of my facial movements like my eyebrows, nose, etc. Like why does ocd have to involve itself in every aspect of my life? It feels like thereās always something wrong that I need to fix.
Hello everyone, I hope you are all doing well! I lost my dad yesterday and me having ocd since I was 7, it just skyrocketed. Yesterday it was difficult for sure, but I didnāt have any intrusive thoughts about self harm. It all happened suddenly when I was half asleep (trying to sleep even though it was really hard), were I feel as if a switch turned on in my brain and out of nowhere I started feeling angry. I recognised at that moment that I was not angry but thatās what my brain was telling me. And thatās when I had an intrusive thought of harming my mom came to my mind and immediately after that came the thought of harming myself. And it stuck. I know grief can make these themes pop up, but what if this is all real and not ocd? Iām scared. I acknowledge I donāt have thoughts in my head of planning to harm myself, itās just a feeling that this is going to happen. Now letting my thoughts out brings me relief, even sometimes this intrusive thoughts bring me relief (that is very scary), but ocd makes me so pessimistic, and that Iām doomed in life and the sad life my dad had will also be mine as well. There are moments where I feel hope and relief, but it doesnāt last for long. As if Iām so so sure that this is going to happen. And me having magical thinking ocd doesnāt help either. Grief is hard, sometimes I cry, other times I laugh with my friends and family, but those moments I laugh is when I get terrified ( I read people who have made up the decision to (you know) are happy and laugh. Anyways, Iāve talked to my mom about it, sheās super supportive of me restarting therapy and even though sheās struggling with grief, sheās always there to listen to me and give me all the comfort I need. But I informed her about the thoughts the moment the popped up. Just so that she knows and can save me because I donāt trust myself at all. Sorry for this huge rumble, but Iād really appreciate your advice. Iām scared and so not ready to start therapy (at one hand I donāt want to, it feels such a chore, but I know I need to get help). Iām very pessimistic at the moment and I feel no one can convince me that Iāll get better. I think my future life, and it brings me this warm nice feeling and then it is followed by the thought that this will never happen. And because I have magical thinking ocd, and my uni exams have just started, I had this feeling that this exam season will be endless and itās never going to end. Guess what, Iām probably going to just take one exam out of three (my mind is like you see, this thought and feeling came true) and thatās where I get super pessimistic. Okay, Iāll shut up for now, please give me some advice on how you try to manage your thoughts and what to do for now. Take care ā¤ļø
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