- Date posted
- 43w ago
Grief & OCD
TW: Parent loss My OCD has spiked since losing my mom in March. Like my nesting is trying to find its new obsession to hold onto. Not sure how much more of this I’m going to take.
TW: Parent loss My OCD has spiked since losing my mom in March. Like my nesting is trying to find its new obsession to hold onto. Not sure how much more of this I’m going to take.
Sorry for your loss, my condolences 💐.
@777Q Thank you 🙏🏾
Hi. I lost my mom in 2015. The grief was most intense during the first few years, but even now it lingers. My OCD spiked very hard after losing her and I didn’t know about treatment until after she passed. My condolences to you. It does get better, but the grief never completely goes away. Losing a mother is particular tough, especially if you are young and if you were close.
@Sunflower_93 I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you. Yeah, 4 months later the grief waves have been up & down.
I'm so sorry for your loss 💔🙏🕊. Losing a parent is truly one of the most difficult and scary things to go through. I lost my mom in April. Grief is not talked about enough and neither is OCD. It's so hard to find people who understand what it's like to experience both. Thank you for posting ❤️
@Noemi ♡ Thank you. Yes, dealing with both is tough.
*I meant brain not nesting. That was quite a wild autocorrect 🤦🏾♀️
I’ve been dealing with a really bad flare up the last 2 weeks and i’ve been dealing with ocd on and off for years. I was finally feeling better today, So of course my ocd decided to bring up an old intrusive thought that was really upsetting and now i’m stuck on it again. The reason why I struggle so much to conquer my ocd is because I developed ocd as postpartum so my ocd targets my kids, the ones that mean everything to me. The intrusive thoughts range from mild to really disturbing. While I know deep down the intrusive thoughts aren’t true or me, the ocd makes it feel SO real and true which makes me feel like I HAVE to disprove the thoughts and with confidence but the ocd won’t let me. It also makes me question analyze and judge everything I do. It’s an endless cycle of pain and I just want to be a mom without ocd telling me i’m a horrible person all day every day. 😪
At this point I think I’m just tired. Took me a massive amount of strength to even type this. I’ve never had it this bad with anxiety depression and OCD. Firstly, how do you guys handle the trauma that comes with OCD. I recently realized Ive traumatized by own mind. I think this contributes to depression. Also, the thoughts frequency have gotten so high. It just literally jams its self in my brain. Before, I had some sort of control (at least a grip) but this days it’s so hard to try to get a grip. The unwanted feelings too? Omg, reactions that I literally can’t stand plagues me. My mind turns almost everything sexual. It’s crazy 🙃 Then the anxietyyyyyy! Wheew. I’m like a walking anxiety attack, my heart is always beating fast and it’s so painful. Working is so hard because I can’t get a grip, I feel so broken and I don’t think anyone can relate to this. I don’t know what I can do to help. Then the pressure in my head (that causes headache sometimes), sometimes I genuinely think I have a tumor! I’m pregnant so that makes it sadder, makes me wonder what kind of mother this beautiful soul is coming out here to meet. I don’t want to be a sad mother, and I cry more when I realize my child can feel what I feel rn in my belly😔. Another thing, the moment I don’t wanna do something, doesn’t even have to be anything bad. That’s when it feels my mind wants to force me to do it. It’s a whole lot and I’m just holding on to Jesus to help me out. At least he’s here so that’s comforting.
My mental health is declining due to ocd. It’s like a huge mix between ocd episode and depression wave. I feel weak and hopeless. I wanna cry. I’m exhausted . I feel like I’ve lost myself again.
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