Parents not believing or understanding OCD

Hi everyone ! I have been diagnosed with pure, somatic and harm OCD since last year as well as dermatillomania. Oh ! And to top it off I have diagnosed ADHD as well. I wanted to just come on here and share some experience that I’ve had. I’m 23 years old and ever since I was a child I have memories of my dermatillomania as a way to cope with my anxiety. I have struggled with my mental health since being a child, my undiagnosed ADHD made me very self aware that I wasn’t “fast enough”, “smart enough”, or “cool enough”. My psychiatrist even says that this undiagnosed ADHD until my 20s probably exacerbated my ocd as a way to compensate. Now I still rely on my parents as they help me out while I finish my studies. One parent is very religious and believes that “disease does not exist” (only a projection in peoples minds), and is very against meds and my other parent seems to always want to change the subject and has refused to come into therapy with me to meet my doctors and understand what I live through. My religious parent, I refuse to tell them I am on medication and I know that they will disapprove and try to gaslight me into believing something that will “make it all go away”. So I’ve given up. My other parent although they appear to pay attention always changes the subject and makes me feel invalid, and no matter how many times I try to explain I feel like I am talking to a wall. I just feel sad because.. well you would want your parents to want to understand and help you. In my case I am fortunate that financially they back me but I feel like I need to be a different person around them, and when it comes to my mental health I have no support. I look at mostly white families (not all) online and they seem to want to understand and be a part of a healing process, or at least believe that OCD is a valid diagnosis. I just want to ask if any of you have had unsupportive family members, have felt alone on your journey, and if it’s okay to never really let go of that hope that one day they may understand you. And honestly advice is great but just knowing I’m not alone in this will already comfort me, knowing that we are all in this together.

Username: Spirit130Spirit130

Date posted: 24w ago

I’ve had unsupportive parents. When I told them I had intrusive thoughts about my family hurting me, my dad immediately went “okay, when did this happen? We need to arrest them.” not understanding that OCD thoughts can come from anywhere, and it’s just something that pops up

Username: Steven55!Steven55!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w ago

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's difficult when parents are in some kind of denial. On YouTube, NOCD has some good videos designed to explain the disorder, and what we go through, to parents and other loved ones. Why not take a look and see if you think any of them will help. As the saying goes, it couldn't hurt...Hope this is helpful.

Username: rocanoe rocanoe

Date posted: 24w ago

@Steven55! Thanks :)

Username: OCDFamilyOCDFamily

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w ago

Mental illness has been a taboo topic in many families and churches. It is still there but people try really hard to pretend it is not. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Your generation will do better.

Username: AntoniOcdAntoniOcd

Date posted: 24w ago

Hi :) This is a really tough spot your parents are putting you in, as long as you’re still depending on them for some support but can’t be fully vulnerable with them. I’ve been fortunate that my parents were never too dogmatic about their Catholicism for it to compromise their openness to learn about the evidence-based psychology of my disorders. Over the past decade, through painstaking discussions with them about things like religious beliefs, I’m proud they have actually progressed their views and I’ve been improving on my patient approach to challenging deeply-held belief systems. So, I do have optimism from my successes that even older people can be encouraged to reconsider their worldview. BUT I WOULD NOT COUNT ON IT. Prioritize how you spend your limited emotional energy dealing with them. For the time being it might not be worth trying at all to influence their stubborn minds to change, and better to focus your efforts on just clarifying your personal boundaries, and sticking to them. For example: “Dad, it causes too much stress when this topic is brought up, so I’m only going to talk with you about other things.” Make it matter of respect, because you want to be able to get along in the long term. (hopefully that’s an incentive for them too.) Then the first couple times they try to cross that boundary, instead of getting sucked back into whatever stressful pattern of arguing, I might simply say I have to go now. We have to show we are willing to follow through with respecting the boundaries we established for ourselves until others catch on. Of course idk all about your specific family dynamics so this is only a general suggestion for managing a tense relationship with parents. Hope you can find ways to apply it for your case!

Username: rocanoe rocanoe

Date posted: 24w ago

@AntoniOcd Thanks so much for this 💕

Username: Steven55!Steven55!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w ago

I have never replied in this fashion before, but I am offended by your religious and age bigotry. As a practicing Catholic of many years, I know the church embraces physical and medical science, as well as psychology. To suggest otherwise is a disservice and leads me to suspect that you know very little about Catholicism. Likewise, I take exception to your suggestion that older people are ignorant of what you consider to be your "worldview." Nonsense! Older people are no more ignorant of the world than younger people who don't vote and spend most of their time on Tiktok and online games. Perhaps before you begin hurling insults you should think before you write.

Username: AntoniOcdAntoniOcd

Date posted: 24w ago

@Steven55! Hi Steven. First regarding age bigotry: I carefully re-read and all I said was “I do have optimism from my successes [with my own open-minded Catholic parents] that even older people can be encouraged to reconsider their worldviews.” That’s not bigoted. I’m going to become an older person and I hope to remain open to reconsidering my worldview as I age. I felt like saying “Even older people” since I’m talking to a young adult dealing with an older closed-minded religious parent, and it is kind of commonly recognized that people are TYPICALLY more fixed in their worldview when they are older than when they are first developing a views in their youth.

Username: Steven55!Steven55!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w ago

@AntoniOcd How old are you?

Username: SumSum

Date posted: 5y ago

Can anyone help me. I am having trouble with my parents understanding how my OCD and other mental health issues effect my school life. They don't understand how harmful my OCD is for me. I feel like I have no one. I am so sad and exhausted. I feel like I can't live this aspect of my life anymore. It is killing me.

Username: allgood

Date posted: 5y ago

how do I tell my family I have ocd?? . I'm 20, I see them pretty much everyday and it puts a strain on my relationships with them because they have no clue what's going on with me. My mom (amazing mom but... ) can come across cold it's just her personality, she's had a hard life from many external factors and so she doesn't really understand mental illness and how someone can be 'unhappy' when they have a comfortable life. I come from a family of very very strong women and if I told them I feel like they'd just think it was an excuse/attention seeking. They're supportive people but not very understanding in mental health. I already feel very different to my family just based on my personality/values/view of life - this could potentially make me even more of a distance from them no??? how do I even tell someone I have ocd do I just say it???? pls and insight any1 can give soooooooo appreciated thank you

Username: Glitter

Date posted: 5y ago

Hey this is my first post on here. I have struggled with ocd since i was 5. I didnt know because I repressed these memories I guess but my mom told me I had to see a therapist when i was in kindergarten. Anyways, I finally opened up to my best friends the other day about my crippling OCD. And none of them seemed to really care...at all. I wish people would realize OCD is more than just being “neat” and “clean”. It makes school and everyday things more difficult. People dont take OCD seriously enough. I wish my friends cared so I could talk to them about it more, since therapy is so expensive, but I just wanted to share my experiences with a group of people who would understand.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Parents not believing or understanding OCD

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community