Can’t handle this anymore

I feel like I have been spiraling lately because all day every day I’m scared to do something wrong in my relationship. I can’t be near men because I’m scared that I kiss them If something touches my lip like my hair or sweater or even a rain drop tbh I think I kissed someone Just today i was getting out of my car and I was on the phone with my boyfriend and I think I turned my head and my hoodie hit my lip and right away I started freaking out bc from a distance I saw a man so I was already anxious and I convinced myself he was near me and that it was him just bc what I think was my sweater hit my lip and I was on the phone with my boyfriend and I still think it was another man I feel like it’s getting out of control but I can’t help but to confess everything all the time because then I feel like I’m hiding something and then I start feeling guilty and then it turns out to be for nothing But I can’t sit with the uncertainty especially if something touches my lip, I can’t stand it I hate living like this tho because I lose all motivation for everything tbh 😭

Username: ivrecivrec

Date posted: 23w ago

Looking at all the times you said “think” in your post is a good indication that you are aware that intrusive “thoughts that come with OCD

Username: ivrecivrec

Date posted: 23w ago

Sorry my phone is not cooperating, to continue “thoughts” that come with OCD caused the anxiety, but they are only thoughts and not actions. By giving them more attention by confessing those thoughts you are making them stronger. Sitting with the anxiety is very uncomfortable but you teach your brain these intrusive thoughts are just junk thoughts and don’t need to be taken seriously. You can do it.

Username: ElizabethalbertaElizabethalb...

Date posted: 23w ago

@ivrec Yes I know what you are saying thank you so much but I know that I turned my head I think it was my hoodie but my mind convinces me that it was the man I saw outside but I was on the phone with my boyfriend So is it an intrusive thought that I think it’s the man and not my hoodie?

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 23w ago

My nocd therapist has shared a tool with me that has made a HUGE difference in my handling of this type of repetitive thought spiral — NERs: non engagement response. Note the thought when it happens. Note that you feel uncertain Note that maybe it’s possible Note that, yep, that would be bad it it were true. It is accepting that this is a scary thought and then not engaging with it. It was really surprising to me how well it works for my thoughts. Like agreeing with a bully! Bullies get the win when you engage with them. When you tell that bully, “yeah, maybe you are right … that would be bad if it were true” … there isn’t a whole lot more the bully can say to that. Perhaps think about trying NERs next time? I hope this helps ❤️ You are stronger than OCD dear one

Username: ElizabethalbertaElizabethalb...

Date posted: 23w ago

@Anonymous Thank you so much for your help

Username: ElizabethalbertaElizabethalb...

Date posted: 23w ago

I think it’s because I worry about that stuff so much that I constantly think my actions are bad when in reality it was just my hoodie but my brain convinces me otherwise

Username: ivrecivrec

Date posted: 23w ago

@Elizabethalberta Always remind yourself that these are OCD symptoms that go against your values. They don’t represent you. Everyone has intrusive thoughts we just make the mistake of analyzing them and that tells our brain they are important and that creates more intrusive thoughts. Knowing your enemy, OCD and all its tricks will help.

Username: ElizabethalbertaElizabethalb...

Date posted: 23w ago

@ivrec Thank you so much for your help

Username: Maybe,MaybeNot

Date posted: 4y ago

Hi guys. I’m struggling because I obsess over things I feel I’ve done wrong and I fear my boyfriend will break up with me over them. I never cheated on him but it’s things like responding to a compliment wrong, feeling like I said something flirtatious when I wasn’t trying to seem flirtatious. I’ve told my boyfriend about some of my fears and he hasn’t broken up with me but my compulsion is to tell him my fears so he can reassure me that the thing I’m obsessing about isn’t a deal breaker. However it’s really not healthy for my relationship to tell him everything I feel I did wrong and I feel like I have to tell him every little detail of every conversation that bothers me. Does anyone else have thoughts like this?

Username: Anon465

Date posted: 1y ago

CANT STOP CONFESSING

I feel like I am so deep in this rabbit hole of confessing to my boyfriend about anything regarding cheating or finding people attractive or having thoughts about them. Can anyone please give me tips on how to stop because it’s really starting to affect him

Relationship OCD

Username: zeebee1

Date posted: 38w ago

I'm sobbing my eyes out while typing this

I can't handle this anymore....Everytime I hangout with my partner they say one little thing I don't like and I started balling my eyes out and they wind up comforting me. I'm constantly being triggered by him and I don't even know why. I got a TikTok slideshow about healthy relationships today and one said "genuinely enjoying each other's company" and i started to spiral. Recently when we hangout I am constantly analzying anything that can be contrused as toxic. We were watching sex and the city and he said he hated the show and I was like see thats so toxic and unhealthy a good partner would never hate a show I LIKE. I'm analyzing everytime he has shown frusteration or been upset about something or has said something the littlest bit mean and convincing myself that my relationship is somehow unhealthy and toxic even though it's not. My mind has completely warpped my perception of him and now I see him as this evil man when before I thought he was the sweetest most gentle man ever. I am even getting intrusive thoughts of us getting into nasty fights or hitting each other which would never happen. BUT WHAT IF IT HAPPENS IN THE FUTURE EVEN THOUGH I DON'T THINK IT WILL. I think my ROCD has really found the ultimate trigger because if the relationship did become toxic I would have to leave and I'm just so upset. I genuinely love my partner and this is becoming between us and I am on the verge of panic 24/7. I am constantly scanning for the littlest signs of abuse like he told me he didn't like these pants I ordered but he may like how they look on me and my brain is like "YOU SEE HE IS TRYING TO CONTROL WHAT YOU WEAR" like he has never told me to not wear and outfit or change once. I'm so sick of this my brain is convinced he's a "bad guy" when he is so far from it and him getting the smallest bit frustrated about anything means he has "anger issues" trust me he has seen me mad about things and I have been far worse. It's like the only way I can be with someone is if they're are this perfect robot that never has one bad moment or is allowed to show any negative emotions in front of me. Am I just gaslighting myself?? I am actually spiraling out of control and don't know what to do. I'm scared these thoughts are going to taint my relationship to the point of no return. I am also scared of having "gut feelings" that I'm in an abusive or unhealthy relationship. PLEASE HELP ME!

Relationship OCD

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Can’t handle this anymore

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community