Struggling to differentiate between OCD and my sexual identity. Any advice?

@Anonymous But how do you then commit to someone if that’s what you want to do, eg. I want to get married and have kids and don’t want to run out of time. I’m also from an Indian family, so i culturally that’s what is expected and that what I thought I wanted. I know I want to be a mother more than anything

@Ranger_867 I live in the UK where the waiting list for a psychiatrist is ridiculous and super expensive if you go private

@coldplayer I am sorry to hear that… the need for mental health services is at an all time high. I hope that you can start to get some help and relief. In the meantime, I would highly recommend you search for Nica’s comments on here. She has a post that shows all the best free resources available to help you - YouTube, books, podcasts, etc.

@Anonymous I like the idea of being with a woman in some ways then when I zoom out and think about how that would fit into my life I get this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, so anxiety, but initially I’m open to it

@marney456 Hi there. I’m responding to both of your comments in this message. I come from a God-based, but not religious perspective, so with that in mind I’ll say this. Focus on what you know to be true. You know you want to be a mother, right? You know it to be true and I suspect that is your innate desire outside of culture/societal expectations. So there’s something you can be certain of. I too wish to raise a child someday. I would even do it alone. Of course it may not be my preference but…the fact that that desire is independent of my circumstances and I’ve always known it to be true means… I get to trust God/the universe and ask to be surrounded by people who are going to not only support my most innate desires but perhaps even help to achieve it. On a more practical note, my best advise to you would be this: Use your body as a barometer, because that’s what our bodies are at a most fundamental level. Lust/desire to be with someone intimately doesn’t automatically equate to that being the person you’re supposed to be with. I know this with certainty. I can have sexual feelings for a number of people and recognize it on a cognitive level, appreciate it on a cognitive level, and ask the universe “why are you drawing my attention to this person?” Because that’s all lust really is. It may be to show you something about yourself or highlight a quality in that person you wish to adopt/improve in yourself. I once lusted after someone simply because they were stylish and I wanted to be that stylish. Or maybe someone is powerful and influential and subconsciously you desire it, or maybe someone is carefree and unrestricted and there’s an aspect of you that that will speak to and sometimes…it’ll be in the form of sexual desire. I found my soulmate. And let me tell you what occurred after a few hiccups, due to my own circumstances and distractions. But once the dust settled…all I felt was peace. When you stop googling “what does it mean if/is this a sign of/does this person like me if/is this flirting” when you stop doing that… that’s when yu know. And you will when you meet the right one. It’s kind of like, think of a friend who you Know likes/cares for you a lot (platonically) and you don’t ever question or wonder if they secretly hate you…or what they meant by that…it’s similar to that. It’s when you stop doubting and questioning. When your ocd backs off basically. So what do you do until you meet that person, and encounter all these people who you *might* be attracted to/maybe not/fantasize about etc… you ask God/the universe to show you why your attention is being drawn to that person. You look at it as simply that. Lust isn’t always about sex and one day I’m going to prove that in a book I intend to write. No, lust is a tool from Spirit to teach/show us something about ourselves. Maybe parts of ourselves we wish to change/improve and sometimes, it’s merely biological. But do not be deceived by it. Look at it as a gift instead. Whenever I start to lust on someone now, I simply pause and ask God, “what is it you want me to see or learn here?” And the answers always reveal themselves at the right time. You just gotta trust that.