berrynikalover

Date posted: 1y

forcing intrusive thoughts

i've been forcing myself to have very graphic intrusive thoughts to make sure i don't react and i feel so scared. also i'm scared if i ever acted on a thought like for example if i'm w a baby what if my mind was like "give the baby a kiss to make sure you don't feel anything" what if i did. wouldn't that be assault? i cannot remmeber for the life of me

AshleyA12519

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

I’ve been going through the same thing. My mind gave me a terrible intrusive thought while changing my child once, and I could not remember for the life of me if I acted on it. Until today, I realized my mind tries to convince I acted on thoughts when I did not. I try to keep myself grounded in those moments that can be triggering. I explain to my kids what I’m doing and why I’m doing it anytime they’re changing or bathing and that helps

berrynikalover

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous the issue is i have texts when this incident occurred telling my friend i DIDNT act on it when i had the thoughts, but then it goes back to what if before that time i did act on it ? have you ever had thoughts when you're around your kids like "see you don't feel anything sexual bc you're not attracted to them"

AshleyA12519

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@berrynikalover - Yes I have had those too and argued with them because my brain tries to convince me the opposite. I just remembered an incident from months ago when I was like “I could do this right now if I wanted to but I don’t want to” my brain tried to convince me I acted on it and I almost believed my ocd until I looked back at the whole situation and remembered at the time it was just a passing thought that I didn’t act on with no meaning. Until my ocd gave it attention and meaning to scare me

berrynikalover

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous i think the same way bc i'm like there's no one my body would've actually been ok doing that. but in the case let's say i did kiss my baby on the cheek with the thought "give the baby a kiss to make sure you don't feel anything" is that assault ?

AshleyA12519

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@berrynikalover - I wouldn’t think so I’d think maybe it’s a compulsive mental check, it doesn’t appear to be ill intended

berrynikalover

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous nothing i EVER do is ill intended. ever. i just want to make sure i Never SA anyone bc i was as a kid

berrynikalover

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous and i think that's where my fear comes from. again i have NO idea if my scenario happened.

berrynikalover

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous and by kiss i mean on the cheek or forehead good GOD I WOULD NEVER kiss my babies in the lips

berrynikalover

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous please respond

berrynikalover

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous please respond

AshleyA12519

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@berrynikalover - That’s understandable I used to feel the same way until I started going to therapy and realized that what I was afraid of didn’t actually happen and my brain tried to go against me and what I know and value because it knows that’s the thing I’m most afraid of happening to my kids. Those thoughts are all ocd. It’s hard for me to deal with as well. But just know you are not what your mind is trying to tell you that you are, and other people struggle with the same things. Sorry for the late response

berrynikalover

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous but my issue is i can't remember so let's say i did have those thoughts and can't remember, would it be abuse in the situation that i had have those thought.

AshleyA12519

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@berrynikalover - No they’re just thoughts not like your doing anything with bad intent or to harm.

berrynikalover

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous but my issue is i can't remember so let's say i did have those thoughts and can't remember, would it be abuse in the situation that i had have those thought.

AshleyA12519

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@berrynikalover - I really don’t think so

berrynikalover

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous i been SA as a kid so i'm terrified.

berrynikalover

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous if you had those thoughts and acted like gave a kiss just to make sure you didn't feel anything. how would you think of if

AshleyA12519

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@berrynikalover - I wouldn’t think of it as an assault

AshleyA12519

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@berrynikalover - I wouldn’t think of it as an assault

hanysm@gmail...

Date posted: 1y

I am not a specialist, but here iare my 2 cents worth. Many of us struggle with thoughts thinking it is the sole force in control. Reality is, there is another equal and opposite force call it intuition or feelings which works "sometimes" against our thoughts. Actually this is what most of us struggle with. A force of bad thoughts, and intuition or feelings telling us it is bad and stopping it from being actionable.I say, most people who live with OCD are high thinkers, and have also very vivid conscious, which is the main reason of both intrusive thoughts, and in the same time the blame and shame feelings they experience. If it would help, be mindful of the struggle going inside your head, and go with your intuition if it tells you to rejects those thoughts. Let the force of intuition wipe those bad thoughts, while you standing to celebrate the winning of good/ethical/moral... etc. over the bad/evil. If you are a religious person, don't forget to pray and summon the powers of God. This will even further help the good side.Bottom line, you are not alone, and you got enough to wipe those thoughts. Finally, try to walk , maybe by the water, and get enough sun. Ohh, and try to cut down on TV, social media ...etc. and instead call your family and talk it off in other useful subject. Have a great and happy day...😃

aaanonymous

Date posted: 23w

harm ocd during intimacy

18+ i was having intimacy with my lover. i was frustrated and i had a thought like "hurt her physically", i think i Remember not agreeing with it. i didn't hurt my lover they were fine they never felt hurt physically, but im afraid i might have done some action with the intention to hurt them but maybe i wasn't violent enough? idk. i don't remember any action with that intention so that's that. it happened like a couple of hours ago and im afraid i forgot about it. also, i get anxious because sometimes when i have intrusive thoughts i kind of act on it? not as in like doing what the intrusive thoughts tells me, but something similar that is better in a way? like today i had a thought like "grope your lover in public" but instead of doing that i just squeezed their waist. so idk im afraid i might have done something similar here

grellen2000

Date posted: 21w

Intrusive thoughts (21+ please)

I need advice for intrusive thoughts. I used to feel like I could handle them. They weren’t nearly as bad as the things that related to my actual life. But now, I’m suffering. I haven’t had a sexual experience in over a year that didn’t involve constant intrusive thoughts. Most are somehow related to kids and I keep chasing off the thoughts but it’s so bad. I know you’re supposed to ignore them but I don’t know how I can just ignore that and continue what I’m doing. But they’re coming on stronger. I had one earlier I could not get rid of just as things finished so the thought came on strongly just before my orgasm hit and now I feel absolutely disgusting. I hated the thought and I know it’s not me and it was not enjoyable but it still feels like I was getting off to it. I feel sick. I’m so fucking tired of these thoughts. They’re in my every day life too and it’s all the time. I just want it to stop but ignoring it feels so wrong. What should I do?

andrea_sam730

Date posted: 21w

Intrusive thoughts during self intimacy

Today has been really hard I feel like I can’t even breathe I feel like a pedo for real :( whenever i think during my alone time i try and coexist with it? but when i decided to think and think i panic and panic more and more i start feel more guilty guys I can’t take this anymore bc when I kinda feel certain it fades aways i think logically i know i probably am ok :( but it’s so scary for me what if i did actually act on the thought and I didn’t realize? And now reflecting it ???

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