Any mamas or dads out there that have had intrusive thoughts about your children or false memories whether recent or long ago memories that you’ve done horrible things to them? How do you cope with the upsetting intrusive thoughts thoughts and the uncertainty of the false memories?
I struggle immensely with harm OCD since I was 2 days post partum. My baby is almost one now. It’s so incredibly difficult! Some days are worse than others, some days I’m unbothered at all. There’s a podcast called “all the hard things” that’s all about OCD and anxiety (first episode is parent related). You should give it a listen. My first “false memory” event was going to the bathroom about 3 days postpartum (still bleeding obviously sorry if TMI) but the sight of the blood made me absolutely panic and wonder if I hurt my baby—made my husband go check on her to make sure she was okay. Of course she was okay. OCD will make you question EVERYTHING. Sorry you’re going through this—it’s tough and you’re not alone.
Does anyone else know they didn’t do something but than they can’t be certain they didn’t ? I have intrusive thoughts that make me terrified I have abused a child. One minute I’m positive I haven’t and the next I can’t be 100%. I end up going over a situation so much I add details that then become real to me and make me doubt myself more. For example, I just changed her diaper and now I’m terrified I did something I wasn’t suppose to even though I know I didn’t. But now I’m sitting here concerned I did. How do you cope with this?
My heart hurts so much right now. I am a mother of two and I am afraid to be near my children. Two weeks ago, everything was fine. I never had an intrusive thought about them at all. My mother recently told me that my father SA’ed me and I do not remember it because I was too little to remember. Well, while trying to cope with that information… I had a terrible intrusive thought. “What if I become like my father?” “What if you’re attracted to you kids?” I instantly felt sick, I threw up and then I could NOT stop thinking. I keep getting this horrible sinking feeling near them. I keep crying and missing how simple it was before. I love them so much and it’s only pure mother love. I don’t even have any urges it makes no sense why I can’t let this thought go. I just want to go back to being their mommy. I was looking at videos of when they were tiny babies or even from a few weeks ago and just crying because it was just simple and life was amazing and I cherished my children… now I am afraid to be near them. I told my boyfriend because I was having such terrible anxiety from this and I’ve been in a dark place. He knows I’ve had other obsessions and panic attacks so he is being very helpful through this. He says he trusts me and knows I would never harm our kids. But I keep feeling so guilty for even having this thought at all.
The worst is when ocd latches on to your children. I’ve been having intrusive thoughts about my daughter that have me so depressed. I know none of it is true but the ocd really tries to convince me that it is. Any other parents experience this??
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