- Date posted
- 1y
Tired
Iam just scared and tired from having wetness to the same sex thoughts and feelings , i am so scared
Iam just scared and tired from having wetness to the same sex thoughts and feelings , i am so scared
I don't know what you're sexual orientation is but in the lesbian master doc, they say that basically what matters isn't whether or not you feel attracted to a certain gender. If being with a man/a woman doesn't feel right to you then you simply don't have to be. True attraction feels good, warm and safe and if the thoughts you keep getting makes you feel upset and sick then don't worry that is not attraction š
Thank you for that btw cuz I had some thoughts about my sex orientation too š,but I was talking about sexual thoughts generally
There are many reasons to feel aroused and your brain can actually trick you into thinking that you are even though it isn't actually real. Hope that helps :ā -ā )
Thank for ur comment.
I understand you,I have this but with butterflies in your stomach,sometimes I think it has happened and idk
@lizaaa Yes with everything
This might be uncomfortable at first, but I can tell you what is helping me. When you think youāre about to have an intrusive thought, before it even occurs, purposefully have the thought. Not only that, but exaggerate it, make it even more graphic or disturbing than your original thought. Itās kind of like youāre beating youāre intrusive thoughts at their own game. If you try not to have the thought then you probably will, but if you show your mind that not only do you not care, but youāll have the thoughts on purpose, then the anxiety canāt even keep up. Thatās what has worked for me anyway. It was recommended to us in group and my intrusive thoughts have gone down. It may not work for everyone, so if you arenāt comfortable doing this or you try it and it makes you more anxious then you donāt have to use it.
I just canāt do this shit anymore.im tired of these āarousalā sensations that feel real but when I go check my arousal to the same gender I just get anxiety. Iām tired of feeling like I canāt like girls anymore. Iām tired of my arousal getting blocked every now and then because Iām anxious. Iām tired of not knowing who I am anymore. Iām tired of having my mind putting me into an identity I never asked for. Iām tired of this life
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that itās most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like Iāve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I donāt feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. Iāve never felt this weirded out. Because Iāve always been straight and still believe I am but Iāve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I donāt believe Iām gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I donāt hate the idea of gay people but I canāt imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I havenāt really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didnāt last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. Iāve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. Iāve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I donāt want this. But I hate how I canāt just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It wonāt quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. Iām lonely I donāt have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe Iām straight and I just canāt see myself with a guy. It just doesnāt feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because thatās where I can have peace of self. It sucks but Iām so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I canāt even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but Iām scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldnāt ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes Iām religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. Iāve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. Iāve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But itās still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I donāt suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I donāt wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
Chat GPT told me its more likely comphet than ocd Idk im scared Im scared that if i accept the uncertainty to know the truth once and for all 1) i end up actually turning out to be lesbian 2) I lose the guy i love (or i think i love idk atp) Iām remembering so many moments of same sex attractions from when i was little Im so scared im so scared Its too much
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