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Hang in there . Mark Freeman on You Tube had excellent free OCD resources. He has a free two hour program on You Tube Brain Tech Support Live normally every other Sunday . A great inexpensive very helpful book is Brain Lock by Dr Schwartz.

Typo that is has not had .

I feel the same way rn sometimes it just starts to feel so real idk what to do and what if it isn’t ocd what if I just don’t wanna accept this version of me idk what to do anymore sometimes it feels easier to just shut down and agree with the voices in my head I’m tired