Username: kenzieconda

Date posted: 24w ago

Hi! i am new here

a little bit about me, i have dealt with mental health issues for my whole life. i went undiagnosed for many years, being because my family (at the time) didn’t believe in mental illness, it was believed that everything could be fixed with a little “talk with Jesus” that being said, for as long as i can remember i have had the intrusive thoughts, the obsessive thoughts. i can remember being a little kid trying to pray to god and my mind would be telling me over and over again that i hated god, that i loved the devil, that i wanted to go to hell. i also believed that if i didn’t pray for every single family member that they would die. i still to this day have trouble sleeping because im convinced that the rapture will happen, and i will be left behind. well as the years have progressed, these intrusive thoughts and obsessions have become worse, resulting in me thinking about harming myself and others when i have no intentions to do so. i also have been struggling with and obsessing over people dying, and mourning people that are still alive and well.

Username: lunaladylunalady

Date posted: 24w ago

I also dealt with the obsessive praying. Same thing, if I didn’t pray about one of the people I love they would die. I’m also still struggling with the obsessions and intrusive thoughts. I’ve been better the past few years but just recently went through a flare up.

Username: kenziecondakenzieconda

Date posted: 24w ago

@lunalady they put me on luvox to try and combat some of the symptoms but i’m not sure if it’s helping.. i am in therapy currently, but sometimes it just feels as if things will always be the way they are now

Username: lunaladylunalady

Date posted: 24w ago

@kenzieconda Currently on Zoloft. Worked pretty good up until a few months ago… really need to try something more targeted towards the obsessive thinking

Username: lunaladylunalady

Date posted: 24w ago

@kenzieconda I’m also confident that things will get better for you! Recognizing your struggle with ocd is the most important part. You will find the medicine/therapy that helps you the best

Username: kenziecondakenzieconda

Date posted: 24w ago

@lunalady thank you so much, that means a lot to me! i wish you nothing but the happiness and peace in your life ❤️

Username: lunaladylunalady

Date posted: 24w ago

@kenzieconda And the same to you 🫶🏻

Username: iwanttogetbetter96iwanttogetbe...

Date posted: 24w ago

Dang, your post is really relatable. . It like unlocked lots of memories for me as well. I do not attend church like I did as a child, so many of those memories I have laid to rest. As an adult, I try my best to separate religious and logical beliefs. I consider myself spiritual. There are times when I overthink and think something bad will happen to my family because of my OCD. Life gets better. You’ll get stronger. I’m glad you brought your story to the table because this is a subset of OCD that I haven’t tackled yet, but need to.

Username: iwanttogetbetter96iwanttogetbe...

Date posted: 24w ago

@iwanttogetbetter96 I really connected to you when you spoke about the rapture. . I grew up hearing about the rapture and the world ending. I remember even the media would talk about the end of the world. Movies like 2012 came out.my friends would always talk about the end of the world like it was nothing. To me, I was so scared on the inside. I would worry about my family at night. To this day, I have a bone to pick with people that spread misinformation like that because it causes anxiety and ignorance.

Username: kenziecondakenzieconda

Date posted: 24w ago

@iwanttogetbetter96 i’m glad to find other people to relate to, wether it be 1 or 100. it’s just nice to know that we aren’t alone.. i’ve felt alone for so long, but reading through people’s stories and posts on here is making me realize that i’m not “crazy” like others have made me believe i was. we will overcome this, i believe in us.

Username: kenziecondakenzieconda

Date posted: 24w ago

@iwanttogetbetter96 i am the same exact way, i still really struggle with the thought of it. i study all sorts of stuff, and i try to be logical, but the fear is still in the back of my mind.

Username: iwanttogetbetter96iwanttogetbe...

Date posted: 24w ago

@kenzieconda I believe in us too. I downloaded this app in the spring. I already can tell the difference. My family is still embracing and understanding mental illness. It’s new to them. My mother works in a hospital and has for 20 plus years. So she’s more up to speed. 10-15 years ago tho, she was more traditional. My dad too. They thought if i was acting out that it was because I was being bad. They misunderstood that I was most likely dealing with mental health issues

Username: kenziecondakenzieconda

Date posted: 24w ago

@iwanttogetbetter96 my family is trying to be more understanding, but they’re still very much traditional way of thinking. i try to educate them on my mental health issues, and they just tell me to pray lol.. i just downloaded this app earlier tonight, i saw an ad for it on tik tok, and decided i would give this a shot

Username: iwanttogetbetter96iwanttogetbe...

Date posted: 24w ago

@kenzieconda Yeah, I found out about it on TikTok too. I I get it tho. Some days my parents understand. Some days they don’t. I’ve just accepted that as long as I know what I need then thats what matters most. I do wish they would be more aware of the matter but it’s okay. My parents have done enough for me. And if this is a journey that I must take without them then that’s alright. They supported me in other ways. I do have family I don’t talk to about this stuff because to them it’s a brick wall. If I do talk to them about it, then I change the vocabulary up in a way that they can understand. For example, I have an uncle that I talked to about mental health. He’s a pastor. I told him to be aware of the struggles of people. The “demons” or the “darkness” are the mental health issues. And that it requires community, physical activity, and love to help overcome these issues. Actions beyond praying. Surprisingly, he understood.

Username: AnonUser

Date posted: 24w ago

Tired of living in fear and questioning everything

I’m tired guys. I’m tired of thinking something is always wrong with my health, tired of letting random symptoms/ sensations take over my brain and make me think something is horribly wrong. Tired of thinking I need to go to the doctors to get X & Y looked at. I’m tired of always assuming worst case scenario. I’m tired of constantly thinking if something is unethical/ immoral if I don’t do something, tired of always thinking I’m offending a religious higher being, tired of thinking I’m a bad/ disgusting person for my thoughts. I’ve had OCD ruin so many things for me that should have been fun. It’s ruined intercourse/ intimacy because of religious thoughts, or I keep thinking about STDs/ infections. I’ve been having panic attacks lately, something I’ve never experienced, because of life changes and it’s all gotten in the way of my structured life and it’s been very uncomfortable. Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m in danger, or nothing is real. Right now I’m fearing the most that I’m losing my mind, who I am, and I’m just so scared of my mental health getting worse and going manic or developing a dangerous mental illness. My mental health has NEVER been this bad. This is all new and it’s so scary. I was just fine a few months ago, sure I was dealing with other OCD stuff, the intrusive thoughts, the fears, the repetitive actions just to make sure something is the way I want it/ brings me comfort. But ever since my structure was changed/ ruined, it’s all been downhill. I just finished an EMT program, and that messed with me. Saw/ experienced things I’ve never done before and man, it’s really messed with me. Working on getting a new job in healthcare but still don’t have insurance so getting a new OCD specialized therapist has been difficult. Can someone relate just so I don’t feel like I’m crazy?..

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 24w ago

Intrusive thoughts

Hello everyone. My name is Cathy and I have severe intrusive thoughts that seem to come out of no where. However only one thought at a time. I fixate on that scary thought for days and days and my anxiety builds up and up. I try to then attack the suggested catastrophic thought such I may have this disease or going to die from that disease or rot in hell etc. scary thoughts always. I try and do a ton of research on line to counter attack the thought trying to prove it wrong and this helps me but if I can’t find something that proves I won’t get the disease or have it already or prove other things too depending on what the thought is, it doesn’t help at all and can make it worse. Is anyone out there experiencing what I have. I don’t have ocd cleaning or washing or checking but have intrusive scary thoughts.

Username: ERocdjourney1

Date posted: 10w ago

Common symptoms that scare me silly

Hi, this is my first post. I am very nervous reaching out as I haven’t ever done so before publicly. I found out a year ago I had ocd and since then it’s been very clear that I have had it for a long time. I currently struggle with health ocd, death ocd, and I’m sure others as well, I always am scared I have or will develop an illness or schizophrenia. One thing I’m struggling with is depersonalization/derealization. I am under a lot of stress being in nursing school right now so maybe when I’m don’t with school I will feel better. Also I recently switched my medication to sertraline. I have been on it about a month and 1/2 but just increased my dose. It is worse when I first wake up. I am going to go see a therapist again once my PCP gets back to me with one that specializes in ocd. If anyone has had similar situations or recommendations to help me get back to feeling better that would be so greatly appreciated. I am also embarrassed to say I’m scared of getting schizophrenia. The obsessed with that began a year ago when I was taking psychology class. I became so afraid of getting it that I am constantly looking for signs or symptoms. It drives me bonkers. I would like to overcome that fear all together. Please give me advice. Thanks.

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